Last night, keire_ke
asked me where I stood on the whole thing with Charles and Raven and telepaths in general. Honestly, I didn't even know this was an "issue" in the fandom - thank the gods above I'm not a part of that circle of crazy! - and it got me thinking. There's no doubt that Charles is a dangerously naive know-it-all and that he fumbled his relationship with Raven terribly, on the other hand...
In my head canon, telepaths use their telepathy as another sense, just like sight or hearing, so to ask them NOT to use it is like muffling a normal person's ears and then forcing them to communicate. With time, they will learn but there will always be things they won't get, nuances they will miss. For telepaths, reading surface thoughts, using their telepathy is a natural state of being - like for Raven being blue - and because of that, they never learn to understand people - see Charles and his communication with anybody but Raven or with Erik with his helmet on: when he's able to use his telepathy, he knows how to help, how to soothe and prop. When his gift is muffled, he flounders and says and does stupid things.
I also think that telepathy is all noise, all the time, telepaths just learn to build shields around their mind that deflect that noise - or they focus on one person exclusively while shutting out everything else - again, see Charles when he "taps" a person, his eyes go completely blank, in that moment, you could sneak up on him and shoot him in the head and he wouldn't notice. I also think that he uses his telepathy on everybody who didn't ask him not to do it - but only to read surface thoughts - you can see it in the scene where he explicitly asks Erik if he can go deeper.
And his relationship with Raven. He doesn't want her running around naked - see the scene in the kitchen, where he asks her to put some clothes on. What's wrong with that? She might be a bit scaly, that doesn't make her any less naked. Does he as her brother really need to see her genitalia on display? This is me being a prude, I guess, but look at Hank: would you want to see his hairy cock dangling right there, in front of you? There's no difference between hairy!Hank and scaly!Raven in that regard.
I agree that he should have shown Raven that he accepted her the way she was, blue-skinned and golden-eyed. Though I have to wonder, when did his reservations start? When she asked him not to read her mind? Because, honestly, she wants him to accept her as a blue shapeshifer, yet she cannot accept him as a mind-reading telepath. Does that mean that some mutants are "more acceptable" than others?
Food for thought...