Ficlet: Last Resort - Supernatural
Apr. 11th, 2008 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katikatTitle: Last Resort
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, G, Angst
Characters: Sam, Dean
Words: ~400
Spoilers: None
Summary: I'm scared of spending eternity all alone...
Beta: yami_tai *smooch*
Notes: So, I was feeling rather down when I wrote this...
Sam looks up and notices Dean sitting by their motel room's window, turned halfway away from Sam, running his fingers over a sheet of paper on the table in front of him. Curious, Sam cranes his neck to see what it is because Dean seems rather preoccupied… And the breath catches in his throat.
It's a page from a calendar Dean obviously stole in some diner or motel room or whatever. It states April in bold letters on the top, listing the days in neat rows and columns. April, the last month of Dean's life. The line of days growing shorter for Dean every morning.
"Dean…" Sam whispers, his voice breaking.
His brother doesn't look at him, his eyes still glued to the calendar page, maybe even to the last day. "You know, I always hoped that there'll be nothing after death. Nothing at all, absence of worry and pain and fear…" he says softly. "I know that some people hope for heaven or for an afterlife. All I ever wanted was closure, the ultimate ending, termination of existence. I just wanted to be done, once and for all…"
Sam can't stand the pain in Dean's voice and so he gets up and moves towards his brother, his feet padding softly on the surprisingly clean carpet.
"I'm scared, Sammy," Dean admits, visibly wilting in front of Sam's eyes. "I'm scared of spending eternity all alone."
Sam touches Dean's shoulder lightly and when his brother doesn't flinch away, he pulls Dean into a tight hug from behind.
And that's when he notices it, the Colt hidden under the calendar page and his breath hitches in his throat once more, this time in understanding.
Dean touches the gun with his tanned fingers, then he covers it with his palm and shudders. "If the Crossroads Demon was right, I can't do it myself, Sammy. I can't blow my brains out without taking you with me." He leaves his words hanging heavily in the air for a moment. "Please, promise me…"
"Dean," Sam interrupts him.
"Promise me," Dean continues as if Sam hasn't spoken at all, "that you won't let me… exists there... alone. Do it for me, Sammy. Please."
Hot tears sting in Sam's eyes and he has to blink rapidly to push them back. He can feel his brother shiver feverishly, he knows what it must have cost him to say it, to open up like that and lay his soul bare.
Sam covers Dean's fingers and the Colt that bestows oblivion with his right hand, squeezing gently. "As a last resort. I promise," he rasps and he feels himself dying inside bit by bit with every word he speaks.
The End
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, G, Angst
Characters: Sam, Dean
Words: ~400
Spoilers: None
Summary: I'm scared of spending eternity all alone...
Beta: yami_tai *smooch*
Notes: So, I was feeling rather down when I wrote this...
Sam looks up and notices Dean sitting by their motel room's window, turned halfway away from Sam, running his fingers over a sheet of paper on the table in front of him. Curious, Sam cranes his neck to see what it is because Dean seems rather preoccupied… And the breath catches in his throat.
It's a page from a calendar Dean obviously stole in some diner or motel room or whatever. It states April in bold letters on the top, listing the days in neat rows and columns. April, the last month of Dean's life. The line of days growing shorter for Dean every morning.
"Dean…" Sam whispers, his voice breaking.
His brother doesn't look at him, his eyes still glued to the calendar page, maybe even to the last day. "You know, I always hoped that there'll be nothing after death. Nothing at all, absence of worry and pain and fear…" he says softly. "I know that some people hope for heaven or for an afterlife. All I ever wanted was closure, the ultimate ending, termination of existence. I just wanted to be done, once and for all…"
Sam can't stand the pain in Dean's voice and so he gets up and moves towards his brother, his feet padding softly on the surprisingly clean carpet.
"I'm scared, Sammy," Dean admits, visibly wilting in front of Sam's eyes. "I'm scared of spending eternity all alone."
Sam touches Dean's shoulder lightly and when his brother doesn't flinch away, he pulls Dean into a tight hug from behind.
And that's when he notices it, the Colt hidden under the calendar page and his breath hitches in his throat once more, this time in understanding.
Dean touches the gun with his tanned fingers, then he covers it with his palm and shudders. "If the Crossroads Demon was right, I can't do it myself, Sammy. I can't blow my brains out without taking you with me." He leaves his words hanging heavily in the air for a moment. "Please, promise me…"
"Dean," Sam interrupts him.
"Promise me," Dean continues as if Sam hasn't spoken at all, "that you won't let me… exists there... alone. Do it for me, Sammy. Please."
Hot tears sting in Sam's eyes and he has to blink rapidly to push them back. He can feel his brother shiver feverishly, he knows what it must have cost him to say it, to open up like that and lay his soul bare.
Sam covers Dean's fingers and the Colt that bestows oblivion with his right hand, squeezing gently. "As a last resort. I promise," he rasps and he feels himself dying inside bit by bit with every word he speaks.
The End
