Big Angry Virgin from Outer Space
Dick: You know, you never see yourself clearly till you see yourself through your lover's eyes? I'm red frickin' hot!
Dick: Honey, I'm a man. And here's something that I've learned. How can I put this? Men are completely incapable of talking about relationships. Here are two women. Dump on them [Runs away.]
Dick: Sex fixes everything!
Sally: What do I have to lose except for my virginity. Good-bye, Mr. Hymen.
Tommy: You're firing our accountant?
Sally: Thanks, Dr. Albright. You're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch.
Mary: Oh, I am.
Oh gosh, JGL's expressions! He's amazing!
Much Ado About Dick
Tommy: This bites.
Harry: So does she!
Sally: She slept over again?
Dick: Slept? No.
Mary: You're probably very confused about what's going on between your father and me.
Tommy: Oh, no. Not really. I have excellent hearing.
Mary: I just want you to know that your father and I are going to be seeing a lot more of each other.
Tommy: Oh wow, how much could possibly be left?
Mary: When I was a young professor on the fast track, there were things that I did.
Dick: Well, what were you doing?
Mary: The dean.
Dick: The looser the skin, the tighter the behavior.
Dick: You're right, Harry. The only voice that matters is the one inside your head.
Harry: Oh. Which one?
Dick the Vote
Dick: Things are so much simpler where I come from. There's only one big giant office and whoever outruns the fireball wins.