In this corner, one missing Shroud, one impossibly and thoroughly dead corpse, one dedicated and deadly vampire warlord, three holy knights, twenty-nine fallen angels, and a partridge in a pear tree.
And in the opposite corner, one tired, bruised, underpaid professional wizard, threatened by his allies and about to get dumped by his would-be girlfriend for John Q. Humdrum.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely bedtime.
~ "Death Masks" by Jim Butcher
Behold the angry wizard puttputt-putting away.
~ "Summer Knight" by Jim Butcher
"Hate these things. They’re attracted by the smell of death. It’s their food.”
“But the pyres,” Logan said. “We burned the dead!”
“So they want their food cooked.”
~ "Edge of Destiny" by J. Robert King
"I am not weird!" I said. "I'm just differently normal."
~ "The Spy Who Haunted Me" by Simon R. Green
“There is absolutely no need to ring an incredibly loud bell at this end when you want to talk to me! I'm crazy, not deaf! You know I don't like loud noises. Or squirrels..."
~ "The Spy Who Haunted Me" by Simon R. Green
I tossed him the keys to Marsilia’s car. “Take the car, it’s over by the garbage bins three buildings that way.” I pointed appropriately. “Get to Kyle’s house but don’t speed. You have a body in the trunk and no child car seats.”
~ "Frostburned" by Patricia Briggs
I am one of those Longknifes, I am a naval officer, a Princess, worth a trillion plus, and I've got on armored undies to boot.
~ "Kris Longknife: Deserter" by Mike Shepherd
Zhia raised her cup. "Here's to not killing everyone we meet," she declared.
~ "The Dusk Watchman" by Tom Lloyd
“Is this supposed to scare me?” he said loudly. “I’m dead! My house is spookier than this!”
~ "The Good, the Bad and the Uncanny" by Simon R. Green
"And we used to have a giant mechanical spider," I said, leading Molly through the exhibits. "We confiscated it from some American mad genius, back in the Wild West. Not entirely sure what happened to it. I think it ran away."
~ Simon R. Green's "Daemons Are Forever"
“Look,” I said. “I don’t give a wet slap whether you’re gay or not. But I have to ask. How can Roger be your... partner, when he’s also your stepbrother?”
Harry smiled crookedly. “If his being a hellspawn doesn’t bother me, why should anything else?"
~ "Daemons Are Forever" by Simon Green
"I just turned them all into toads and dumped them in the rock gardens for a while, to let them think things over. They’re fine now. Except for a slight tendency to snap at passing flies.”
~ "Daemons Are Forever" by Simon R. Green
Washing a filthy Irish wolfhound is entirely unlike washing a Chihuahua. It takes three or four buckets of water just to get the wolfhound thoroughly wet, for example, while one bucket will most likely drown the Chihuahua.
~ Hexed by Kevin Hearne
"What? Haven't any of you ever studied game theory? If you can't win, you do the next best thing: you make sure your enemy can't win, either. It works more often than you'd think, because it changes the parameters of the game without your opponent's permission. Often even without their knowledge. You're not playing to win any longer. You just want to keep them from winning, and that's a lot harder to stop."
~ "Guild Wars: Ghosts of Ascalon" by Matt Forbeck & Jeff Grubb
"About the only part of your body that looks healthy is your liver, so if you're bored, I recommend you take up drinking, Mr. Wayne."
"The Dark Knight Returns" by Greg Cox
Cases are a lot like buses; you wait around for ages, then three come along at once.
"The Unnatural Inquirer" by Simon R. Green
It occurred to Ivan that while Nanfoodle's efforts might help secure Mithral Hall, it was also quite possible that he would destroy the whole complex in the process.
~ "The Two Swords" by R.A. Salvatore
"You know what?" I told Mister one night in front of the fire. "Maybe I've finally gone around the bend, but I think someone might be trying to kill me."
~ "Fool Moon" by Jim Butcher
I have a degree in history, which is one of the reasons I'm an auto mechanic.
~ "Moon Called" by Patricia Briggs
He'd learned that however odd a thing might seem, if Yimt did it it was worth copying... except when it came to recipes... and crute... and drink... actually, there were a lot of exceptions, but often the dwarf got it right.
~ "The Light of Burning Shadows" by Chris Evans
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