Book #18

[katikat]

"Under Wraps (Underworld Detection Agency #1)" by Hannah Jayne

1 star out of 5

That was AWFUL! I can't remember the last time I read such a terrible book. I made it through 150 pages and then I had to drop it because it was so bad! I can't believe this got published in the first place and some people actually like it. The jumpy plot aside, the heroine was such a manhungry wimp that I wanted to slap her. She made me embarrassed of being a woman, that has never happened before!

She is all about fluffy baths and fluffy bathrobes and fluffy bread while watching reruns of Gossip Girl and nattering about shoes and designer clothes and "Yummy, yummy" men with her vampire best friend - a 160+ year old best friend, who can only think about sales in her favorite boutiques! And when said BF forgets to chain a werewolf, the only thing she is asked to do - and she can't be bothered to go back and actually do it because she has to go to a CLUB! - and it leads to an incident during which the main heroine is pummeled black and blue, her reaction is basically "Whoops! My bad? Let's dress up!"

But back to the main airhead AKA the main heroine. She insists on being called an "executive assistant", NOT a secretary. She insists on helping the police and imagines herself as "CSI Sophie" or as one of Charlie's Angels in a leather bustier - yet she gets sick when they just talk about the body. When the cop tells her to stay at the precinct because she's a civilian, she calls him a sexist and insists on going everywhere with him - but when there's a murder, she whines that she doesn't want to go to the crime scene because the BODY IS STILL THERE! WTF?!

She keeps having sexual fantasies about her boss and the cop - fantasies a la Ally McBeal in which she climbs over the table and starts licking the guy. Whenever they sit close, she keeps leaning into the guy, imagining how horny she is, SNIFFING him! She made me feel sleazy in a sexual harrassment way. Yuck!

The straw that broke the camel's back was when the cop tried to teach her how to shoot and she pulled the trigger and started yelling and jumping up and down with a FRICKIN' LOADED GUN IN HER HANDS!

No. Just no. AVOID! AVOID! AVOID!