(fic) Lifebearers and Sires - The Claim - Gundam Wing

[katikat]

The Claim
AU, Fantasy, MPREG ~ 1+2 ~ Enforcer Heero saves Duo´s life. What does it mean for them? Inspired by Xenobia's fics.

1

The faces of the villagers were solemn and unforgiving as they gathered on the village green, watching their chieftain drag his second son by his hair into the middle of the circle they built. Father Maxwell threw his son to the ground, and the dust arose to meet the tear stained face.

The painful sobs of the broken figure were the only sound that broke the silence that fell over the people. Slowly, painfully, the longhaired boy managed to prop himself up on his arms into a half sitting position. His head was hunched between his shoulders, his long unbound hair hanging to the ground, hiding his face from his neighbours, a plain linen smock the only thing covering his nudity.

Father Maxwell regarded his son as if he was some bug that just crawled from under a stone, his black clad figure looming over the bruised and scraped figure on the ground. He then reached down, catching the long hair in his fist once again, eliciting a painful cry from the boy. He tore at the silken strands sharply, straightening his son´s back, presenting his face to the villagers. His heated, hateful look then flew over the gathered people. "Who claims to have fathered this lifebearer´s child?" His shout echoed through the masses. The eerie silence continued. "Are you such a whore that they even can´t be sure who the father is?" Father Maxwell shook his son´s head wildly.


Duo closed his eyes tightly, tears escaping from under the lids. His hands closed into fists that rested on his thighs. He didn´t want to look at the people. He knew that Wufei was among them and that he wasn´t watching him, his head bent with guilt. He knew that his lover won´t step out in his defence since his husband, Meilan, the son of the chieftain of the neighboring village, a lifebearer as well, was by his side, who was heavy with Wufei's child too. Their short affair had been a mistake. Wufei felt betrayed by his father, who arranged a marriage between him and Meilan without asking him, so one night two weeks after the wedding he got drunk and seduced Duo into his bed. He ended their relationship three weeks after that, because he was beginning to have feelings for Meilan after all, leaving Duo broken hearted and with a child. A child he had to explain to his father and the gathering. And he couldn´t bring himself to admit the truth, it would destroy Wufei´s marriage and wouldn´t bring him anything in return anyway. To know the father didn´t mean to be claimed and protected by him.

Father Maxwell released his son´s hair and backhanded him. Duo cried out, feeling blood fill his mouth, hitting the gravel with his head and scraping his cheek badly. Blood started to flow down his face.

"You know what happens to lifebearer whores like you," he spat at him. "They are sold to brothels in town so that they could never shame and disgrace their family and their village again." He then bent down and caught Duo by his hair at the nape of his neck again, pulling him face to face. "Tell me who the father is or I swear I will beat it out of you."

A sob escaped Duo. He didn´t know what to do. He covered his lower abdomen with his arms, trying to protect the child in his belly.

"The child is mine!"

Everyone turned their heads to the man who spoke. The people stepped back revealing the village´s Enforcer, Heero Yuy, walking with cold calmness into the circle, followed by a sweaty, dust covered and out of breath looking Solo, Father Maxwell´s eldest son. Where Heero looked stone cold, Solo´s face was contorted with rage, seeing the bruised and bloodied appearance of his younger brother.

Father Maxwell released his son´s hair, letting Duo fall the ground. He backed away quickly, regarding the Enforcerer with something similar to fear. Everyone feared Heero Yuy for he was cold and evil. "Your child?" Father Maxwell asked, his voice tight.

Heero stopped just a couple of feet away from the pregnant lifebearer. He stared down at the boy who was looking at him with confusion. The beautiful face was bruised and bloodied, the eyes full of pain and uncomprehension.

"Yes. I´m claiming the lifebearer's child," he said, loud and clear. He looked around the circle, until his eyes stopped at the chieftain. He held his eyes, daring him to protest.

But the man, so full of big words just minutes ago was now silent under the cold, threatening gaze of Heero Yuy. He was the chieftain of the village, but this was the Enforcer, a man whose job it was to kill people threatening the safety of the village. Though of medium height, the strength in the wired, black dressed frame was clearly visible, the green sash bound around his waist marking his status, adding to the threatening air that surrounded him.

Receiving no words of protest, Heero said: "The challenge hasn´t been met. The lifebearer is now mine."

Finally remembering his status, Father Maxwell cleared his throat and nodded. "So it´ll be written. The lifebearer Duo Maxwell has been claimed by the Enforcer," he stated loudly so that everybody could hear. "Since the child has been conceived before the claiming took place, the lifebearer will be stripped of his name in the village, of his property and his rights as a villager. He´ll be forbidden to enter the village until the child is born so that the proof of his disgrace won´t dirty the proper villagers." He then looked directly at his son who was still staring at the Enforcer in shock. "I proclaim that this person is no longer my son nor my heir. I forbid him to wear the name of my family, for he is dead to me. This person is now the sworn property of the Enforcer and is his responsibility to bear. May you depart in freedom, Enforcer," he finished his speech, turned away and headed back to the village. Slowly the rest of the villagers followed until only Heero, Duo and Solo remained on the green.

Heero then crouched next to Duo, took off his cloak and wrapped it gently around the lifebearer´s shoulders. Duo, still very much in shock, let him do that without any protest.

"Why?" he whispered finally, his bruised jaw aching. "This isn´t your child. Why did you do that?"

Heero frowned down at him. He didn´t say anything.

Solo knelt next to his brother. Gently he touched Duo´s shoulder, then his cheek. "Hey, bro. You are safe now."

Duo blinked, then turned to his brother. "Solo? How...? Why did you bring Heero here?"

"Father would have killed you. The only person I know from whom he would back off is Heero. He was the only one who could have stopped him," he explained.

"What now?" Duo asked, his voice broken.

Solo threw Heero a quick glance. "You will now go with him. He will take care of you. I will visit you as often as I can and-"

"No," Heero said in a cold voice. "You won´t visit him. You won´t come near my house again. I allowed it only this one time because of the special circumstances. Come back again and I will kill you." The dark look in his eyes revealed the truth behind his words.

Duo didn´t say anything, his eyes cast downwards, an air of resignation surrounding him. He didn´t know why Heero had done it and obviously the Enforcer had no intentions to tell him. But it didn´t matter. He knew the customs. Willing or not, he belonged to the Enforcer now. Struggling against the inevitable destiny would just bring him a sea of pain. And even if he could get away from him, where would he go? Being heavy with child, he wouldn´t survive in the woods in the winter that was coming closer with each passing day. He touched his abdomen. For his child he would endure anything.

Solo started to protest. "But-"

"Heed the warning, villager, or I won´t be responsible for your life," he warned him. He then bent down, laid one hand around Duo´s back, the other under his knees and lifted him up into his arms. "He is dead to the village, let it stay this way."

Heero turned and started to walk in the direction of the woods. Solo met Duo´s terrified eyes over the black clad shoulder. The cobalt blue orbs were so full of pain and loneliness. He tried to smile to encourage him, but failed. He sighed. He managed to save him from their father, but - could the life that waited for him be even worse?

Solo watched them disappear into the woods. May fate be merciful to his brother.

===

2

A stinging sensation on his face woke Duo up. His eyes shot open, darting around the unknown place with horror. He tried to sit up, but strong hands held him down by his shoulders. He opened his mouth to scream, but a calloused hand clamped down on his lips, shutting him up effectively. He started to struggle when a voice pushed through the fog that surrounded his mind: "Stop struggling and stay quiet or I will put you under," came the quiet threat.

Duo´s struggling ceased, and he relaxed a tiny notch. Heero. Heero Yuy, the Enforcer of the village. The man who now owned his life. Feeling Duo´s muscles going slack under his hands, Heero let go of him and pulled back. Duo turned his head to him, his eyes roaming around the small hut. There wasn´t much. A fireplace, a table, two chairs, two shelves with dishes and a chest. Heero´s home.

"What happened?" he whispered, surprised to hear his voice so rough.

"You fell asleep," Heero answered, not looking at him.

Duo saw him take a piece of cloth he discarded when he had to restrain the braided youth, and wet it in a ceramic bowl with water. He then moved back to his face, cleaning the scratches and abrasions his father caused him. Duo hissed, closed his eyes and tried to move away.

"Stop squirming!" Heero frowned at him. "Your wounds are infected. You are running a low fever already. It has to be cleaned or you will get worse."

Duo bit his lip, knowing that Heero was right. Unfortunately now that all the hassle was over, he started to feel all the pains and aches in his body clearly. After all the things that happened to him in the last couple of days, he was at the end of his rope. He felt tears sting in his eyes and he clenched them shut tightly, not wanting to embarrass himself more than necessary. When he heard Heero get up, he thought that obviously he wasn´t that successful.

Duo heard Heero putter around the fireplace and so he quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Stupid. So stupid. All your own fault. If you had been more careful or didn´t start this affair at all, none of this would have happened, Duo chided himself mentally.

"Here." Duo almost jumped, hearing Heero´s voice so close. He didn´t even notice him come back. He opened his eyes and looked at the solemn shorthaired young man. Heero helped him sit up, then held a cup of some hot liquid to his lips. "Drink it," he ordered.

Duo lifted his hands and laid them around the ceramic cup. He sniffed at it. It had a really pleasant smell. "What is it?"

"It will help you relax and gather your strength. You need to eat, but I suspect you wouldn´t be able to keep anything down."

When he said it, Duo realized how queasy he felt in his stomach when he sat up. He swallowed a couple of times to try and keep the nausea down. With a last look at Heero´s serious face, he sipped the hot liquid slowly, not wanting to burn his tongue. It tasted like mint and it brought warmth to his chilled limbs. Finally the cup was empty, and Duo returned it to Heero with a grateful smile. He really did feel better now. Heero nodded and set the cup on the floor. Duo then wanted to lay down, but Heero stopped him.

"I need to take your smock off," he answered Duo´s questioning glance.

Duo paled, clutching the rough material of his smock tightly. "Why?"

Heero scowled. He had obviously had enough of Duo´s neverending questioning of his actions. "I need to take care of all of your wounds. I noticed that there are some on your chest and belly."

Duo´s hands released the smock, and rested them lightly on his abdomen. The burning sensation caused by the smock rubbing against the scratches made him remember his father, how he hit him and kicked him over and over again, calling him a whore.

"Look, I have no physical interest in you, so stop acting like a child!" Heero snapped at him.

Duo blinked a couple of times, forcing the tears down. Then slowly he pulled the smock over his head. Heero helped him and he was grateful. He was sure that there must be some really colorful bruises on his back and they hurt.

Heero threw the smock on the floor. "Lie down," he said to Duo, pulling off the blanket the braided boy´s legs were covered with up until now.

Duo opened his mouth to protest, but seeing the glare that was directed at him, he blushed and complied. He fixed his eyes on the rough ceiling and tried to pretend that he wasn´t actually there.

Heero´s calloused hands were warm and his touches were completely impersonal. He didn´t even try to turn them into caresses or anything else. He was doing just what he said he would. Cleaning his wounds. Duo was grateful for that, but at the same time he felt incredibly lonely. He had always been a very touchy-feely person like all the lifebearers were and now he yearned for human touch, for someone to hold him and comfort him. This task always belonged to Solo. But now he didn´t dare to ask Heero for something like that. He knew that the Enforcer was a loner, who shied away from the very thing he himself yearned for.

"How did this happen?" Heero asked unexpectedly as he touched a large bruise on Duo´s belly.

Duo blinked and turned his head to him. He saw Heero rinse the cloth and start to wash his belly. He moved just above his manhood, where the pubic hair would start if he had been a sire. But as a lifebearer he had very little body hair, his long mane an exception. Duo blushed, but Heero seemed to be unfazed by the whole situation.

When Duo didn´t answer his question, Heero looked at him, one eyebrow raised as if he repeated it.

"When... when my father found out that I´m pregnant, he got mad. Really, really mad. You saw that for yourself," Duo started slowly, holding Heero´s eyes with his own. Heero nodded. "He tore the clothes off me and started to hit me. I was... I was so afraid that he would kill my child." Duo blinked the tears away again, lying his hands on his slowly drying belly, just over the place where his small baby now rested. "I think he wanted to kill it."

"You could still lose it," Heero warned and his eyes moved to the bruise marred skin of his lower abdomen. Seeing Duo pale horribly, he touched one of his hands and gently squeezed it. "It is a possibility you have to be prepared for. The bruising is pretty massive down here. Did you bleed after he hit you?"

Duo shook his head, his eyes still wide with fear.

"That´s good, but we can´t know if he didn´t cause some damage on the inside."

"So... what can we do?" Duo asked in a small voice.

"Wait. There is nothing we can do besides wait."

Duo shut his eyes tightly, and squeezed Heero´s hand he didn´t even realize he was holding. Wait... Wait and see if his baby would live or not... The worst situation possible for a lifebearer.

When Heero tried to gently extract his hand out of Duo´s, Duo let him go. Heero washed his legs quickly, then Duo heard the wet cloths land in the bowl again. When an unpleasant smell filled the small hut, Duo opened his eyes and looked at Heero. He saw the Enforcer hold a small jar and submerge his fingers in its contents. Noticing Duo´s look, Heero explained: "This ointment will help your wounds heal and protect them from infection."

"It smells horrible," Duo noted, and he could swear that Heero´s mouth twitched before he scowled at him again.

Slowly, gently, Heero applied the ointment on all of Duo´s wounds and the braided boy had to admit that the subtle itching, that he didn´t even notice until it was gone, ceased. Duo relaxed.

"Now you have to turn on your side," Heero instructed him in a matter of fact voice as he laid the jar down and started to rinse the cloth in the water.

Duo tensed. He almost asked why again, but then he sighed and turned on his left side, facing the rough wall now. When the warm cloth touched the abrasions on his shoulders, he almost cried out. It burned. But Heero moved quickly, cleaning his wounds efficiently but as gently as possible. When he touched the lifebearer´s buttocks, Duo tensed again and clenched his hands in fists. He felt Heero hesitate.

"Duo... Did your father touch you there?" Heero asked quietly,

Duo squeezed his eyes shut, and swallowed, but stayed quiet.

"I need to know if he did any damage. If there are tears in your rectum they could get infected really badly." When Duo still stayed quiet Heero repeated: "I need to know."

Duo swallowed again. "Yes," he whispered. "When... when I didn´t get my regular bleeding he... he said he needed to check if I was still a virgin." Duo suspected that Heero nodded at his explanation. It was a well known fact that the lifebearers, when they came of age, bled every month, a sure indication that they were fertile. If the bleeding didn´t come, it usually meant one thing: the lifebearer was pregnant. When an uncertainty about the virginity of a lifebearer existed there was an easy way to check - all the lifebearers had a sort of soft membrane inside of them that protected the birthing channel and that got broken during the first intercourse. The channel then closed itself on its own, opening only when the bleeding came, when a child was born or when aroused. Duo bit his lower lip trying to push away the memory of the forced, painful entry of his father´s fingers and his rage when he found out.

"I need to check it out," Heero said as quietly as before. "Just relax, okay? I will try to do it as quickly as possible."

Duo took a deep breath and tried to relax as much as he could. It didn´t help much though and there was some pain, but Heero was true to his words. Thanks to the lubrication on Heero´s fingers, the examination was quick and Heero was much gentler than Duo imagined him to be. When Heero finally cleaned his fingers with a piece of cloth he tore from the wash rag, Duo breathed out shakily. He never, ever wanted to go through something like that again.

"There are no big tears," Heero said after a moment, "just some bruising and swelling. It´ll still be better if we keep putting some ointment on it for a while."

Duo groaned silently.

The cleaning then went pretty smoothly, with a small hiss here and there and when Heero finally finished and helped Duo turn back onto his back, the braided boy felt drowsy and on the very edge of sleep. He blinked sleepily at Heero, now a little bit blurry. "Wh´t did y´ put in t´ teee?"

Duo asked, his voice slurring. It had to have been the tea. He had never fallen asleep that quickly.

Heero got up from his kneeling position on the floor, laid the rinsed cloth on Duo´s warm forehead, then covered him up with the warm blanket again. He tipped the water out of the bowl in the bucket at the foot of the bed and put the things he used in their proper places. "You need to sleep and gather strength." He then put more wood in the crackling fire in the fireplace to keep the hut warm, buckled his sword to his waist and took his bow and arrows.

Duo watched him from the cozy nest the Enforcer built for him. "Wh´r ´re y´ goin´?" he asked, and finished his question with a yawn.

"I have work to do. I patrol the borders and I neglected my duty today."

Because of me, Duo mentally finished with the thing Heero didn´t say. He really was a burden for the Enforcer. But his mind was too foggy now to think about it.

"I will try to bring us something to eat. Shinigami will protect you while I´m away," he said.


Shini- what? Duo asked himself.

In answer, Heero opened the door and let a large black dog in. If Duo hadn´t been half asleep, his eyes would have fallen out of his head. Never had he seen a dog as big as this one.

Heero walked the animal to the bed, and took one of Duo´s hands in his and brought it to Shinigami´s muzzle. "Friend," he stated clearly, looking the dog in the eyes. Shini sniffed at the new human´s hand, then licked it and wagged his tail. "Protect," Heero ordered, not letting the dog´s eyes go. He repeated the word two more times before laying Duo´s hand back on the covers. Shinigami then looked at Duo who was watching the whole scene with an odd detachment. Whatever Heero put in that tea was really powerful when it finally kicked in. Shinigami wagged his tail at him and showed his sharp white teeth in a dog's version of a smile.

Bow and arrows in one hand, Heero touched Duo´s cheeks with the other. "You are still running a low grade fever so stay in bed and sleep. I will make something to eat when I come back. Don´t go out of the hut without me. The woods are dangerous here. If you have to go, use the bucket. Don´t go outside, I mean it, Duo," Heero repeated, catching Duo´s chin and lifting his head, forcing him to tear his eyes from the smiling dog and look at him. "If something happens, send Shinigami after me, he will find me, okay?" When Duo just blinked at him really sleepily, he asked again: "Okay?"

After two more blinks Duo nodded. "´kay."

Heero nodded and turned around. Before he managed to walk out of the hut and close the door behind him, Duo was asleep. Shinigami hopped up on the bed and after he sniffed Duo from head to toe, he laid his head on his new human´s abdomen. He had someone to protect.

===

3

Slowly, as if making his way through a river of mud Duo woke up. A smell tickled his nose. A stew cooking. Something that under different circumstances, would make his mouth water, but only managed to turn his stomach in this case. He felt the bile rise in his throat, and he tried to turn on his side, but it seemed an impossible task. His limbs felt heavy and he was hot, so hot that he couldn´t even breathe. He tried to open his eyes, but they seemed to be glued together. He started choking, a silent whimper forcing its way through his lips.

Shini raised his head from his new human's chest, hearing the heartbeat going wild. Something was wrong with his new human. He barked, calling the Leader of the pack to help. He then started to lick his new human´s hand in an attempt to make it - whatever it was - better.

Heero abandoned the stew hanging in a kettle over the bright burning flame, and rushed over to the bed. Seeing Duo choking, he quickly turned him on his side, holding a bucket under his chin. Slowly, painfully Duo threw up the meager contents of his stomach. After a couple of minutes of dry heaving, Heero brought a cup of fresh water to his lips, helping him wash out his mouth. Then he gently turned Duo back onto his back.

Finally, Duo was able to get his eyes open. The large irises that almost swallowed the violet pools turned to the Enforcer. They were bright with fever. "Hey..." Duo whispered, his voice hoarse.

Heero covered the bucket with a wooden lid, pushing it to the side and making a mental note to také care of it later. He then sat down on the bed next to Duo, and looked down at his charge, touching his cheeks that glowed pink with fever with his cool fingers. "Hey," he answered. He then rinsed the piece of cloth in a bowl of water and started to wash the sweat covered face.

Duo took a deep breath, and found his chest hurting. He didn´t know why it hurt and his thoughts were too foggy to think about it more thoroughly. "What´s goin´ on?" he asked. His naked body felt so hot under the covers. He wanted to throw them off, but he lacked the power to do so.

"Your fever has risen in the time I was gone. I tried to force it down since I came back," Heero answered. He rinsed the cloth again, pushed the covers down to Duo´s waist and began washing Duo´s arms.


Duo frowned. Fever? He had a fever? Well... that would explain why he felt so hot. He tried to move to relieve the dull ache that sank its teeth in the small of his back, but it didn´t help. With each small move, the ache was growing sharper. Duo decided it was better to keep still then. He felt too exhausted to move anyway.

Seeing Duo lick his dry lips, Heero laid the cloth aside and poured something into a ceramic cup from a pitcher on the table he had moved closer to the bed after he returned home. "Drink this. It should help with the fever and the nausea," he said and helped Duo raise his head from the pillow.


Duo swallowed the lukewarm liquid, not even tasting it. Unfortunately as soon as it hit the bottom of his stomach, it came back up and Heero almost wasn´t quick enough to have the bucket ready this time.

Duo felt miserable, his stomach was hurting, his head was hurting and the ache in the small of his back now turned into a sharp stabbing pain that shot through his body and centered in his lower abdomen. Something was very very wrong, and he felt like crying.

When Heero put the bucket away again, and helped the longhaired boy lie back on the bed, Duo could swear he caught a look of total helplesness that flashed through Heero´s eyes. But when he blinked, the cobalt orbs were calm and composed again. Maybe he imagined it?

"The Healer?" he rasped.

Heero clenched his fist for a second then returned to washing the lifebearer´s body again, trying to cool down the fever. "I went to him. He refused to come. As the chieftain of the village, your father renounced you. You are an outcast now and in their society, you have no place or right to ask for his help. That´s what the healer said." He clenched his teeth for a moment. "I almost broke his neck," he spat out. "But then I settled for his jaw. I went to my friend, Trowa, he is a healer too and he lives in the woods like me, but I couldn´t find him. I left him a message but he obviously still hasn´t returned home yet."

During Heero´s explanation, Duo watched him through heavy lidded eyes. Heero really looked like he was worried about him. Worried? The Enforcer? The Enforcer... what a nice name for a killer. He remembered the time when Heero´s father, Odin, was the Enforcer. He had been killed by some poachers or someone like that. Duo wasn´t sure how he died, since it was a long time ago. The village had then been left defenseless, open to any attack for years since no one wanted to take over the task of being the guardian and the executioner in one, risking his life day after day, until getting killed fighting for the people who would never acknowledge his effort, making him an outsider among his own people instead. No one from the village wanted to take this position, and no foreigners were willing to come here, into the deep woods, so far away from any big towns. So the people waited until Heero was of age, then forced the task on him, claiming the heritage of blood. Heero swore to never forgive them for taking his free will away from him. Duo´s eyes slid to Heero´s shoulder, where he knew he would find the brand marking him as the Enforcer for life, binding him to this fate until the day he died. Breaking this bond was impossible, and was punished by beheading. So Heero served the village, but made sure to not only put fear in the hearts of his enemies, but his own people too. Now the villagers feared the man they made.

A sharp pain, so sharp that it stole Duo´s breath for a second, broke Duo out of his reverie. The cutting pain now devoured his lower abdomen, making him moan and twist his hands in the covers. He clenched his eyes shut, one small tear escaping from underneath his lids.

"Duo?" Heero asked uncertainly, and looked up from washing the boy´s chest. Seeing the lifebearer pale horribly, he asked again, deep worry in his voice. "Duo,what´s wrong?"

"H... hurts," he whispered breathlessly.

Heero looked at the blanket covering Duo from his waist down, then reached out and slowly, as if actually not wanting to see, pulled it away. He gasped, and dropped it to the floor. Duo was lying in a pool of blood, and it was growing bigger by the second.

Swearing, Heero jumped to his feet and calling Shini, he ran to the door. The black dog hopped down from the bed where he was watching his new human, whining almost silently. Heero opened the door, then crouched next to Shinigami. "Trowa. Find Trowa," he said to him clearly, looking directly into his intelligent eyes. "Find Trowa and bring him here. Now."

The dog barked once as if saying he understood, then disappeared into the woods.

===

4

The lifebearer watched Heero rinse the cloth through half lidded, feverish eyes. He knew that something was wrong. The heat he felt, the all consuming pain radiating from his lower abdomen... it couldn´t mean anything good. His baby was in danger. His sweet little baby for whose safety he would have sacrifized anything, even his own life. With the last bits of his strength he lay his left hand on his cramping abdomen, silently praying to all deities he knew to keep the little flame of life in their safe.

The touch of the cold piece of cloth on his forehead brought him out of his dark thoughts. He blinked sluggishly and leaned his head into the welcoming cold. He felt so hot, so incredibly hot. He tried to lick his dry lips, but he had no saliva to spend. His throat was dry and it was burning, making swallowing almost impossible. He tried to speak but the words seemed to stuck to his tongue.

"Thirsty..." he managed to croak out in the end.

Heero looked at the beautiful face that burned red with fever. The lifebearer wasn´t sweating anymore. He needed to replenish the fluids he had lost but no matter what brew he tried the longhaired young man couldn´t keep it down. His body was too spent already and couldn´t take another round of throwing up.

Not knowing what else to do, he rinsed the cloth again and carefully wet the cracked lips. Some time ago Duo had almost bitten through his lower lip when a violent cramp caught him off guard. Now there were small dropplets of blood drying on the parched skin. Heero watched the lifebearer welcome the wettness greedily, but the desperate look made it obvious to him that it was not enough, that he needed more to win the battle against the fever. Heero clenched his teeth in impotent helplessness.

A silent moan and whiteknuckled fists gripping the bedsheets indicated another violent cramp tearing through the exhausted body. Heero got up and moved between the lifebearers´ bent and spread legs. The right one was propped against the wall, the left one resting on a pile of pillows. Another piece of cloth soaked through with blood joined the others on the floor next to the bed. It was replaced by a clean one but immediatelly small splashes of red appeared on the white linen. Heero clenched his teeth again. Hhe glanced towards the window, his fists curling from the frustration of waiting."

The thought didn´t even came to an end in his mind when there was a bark outside the hut. Heero exhaled in relief.

Duo could swear that he heard the barking of a dog, but he wasn´t sure since his panting was so loud. He had the feeling as if he wasn´t getting enough oxygen into his lungs. It hurt to breathe and with every thump of his heart there was an odd stich in his chest. He heard voices outside the hut and he tried to turn his head to see what was going on. He was too exhausted, though. Everything hurt and he was scared for his child. If he could have summoned the strength, he would have cried.

Heero watched his friend run through the woods, getting closer with every step. Usually Trowa moved silently though the forrest. He was a true child of the nature, living in harmony with it. Shinigami coming for him must have allerted him though that something really bad was going on here and that speed was more important now than stealth.

When the Healer halted, he was breathing heavily. Whereever he had been it must´ve been quite a distance. Heero had never seen his friend so out of breath. In other circumstances he might have teased his friend about it, but now the only thing on his mind was his sick lifebearer.

"Heero, what´s going on? When I saw Shinigami I thought the worst, but you seem to be alright..."

"Come quickly," he interrupted his friend. "Your help is needed here." He grabbed Trowa´s arm and dragged him inside. Shinigami sat by the bed, his head lying on the pillow next to the lifebearer´s head, whining silently.

"What the hell..." Trowa stopped short at the sight of the naked figure on the bed, the bloody rags on the floor. "What´s going on here?" he asked, but Heero already moved to the bed and sat down on it carefully.

Trowa laid his bag with herbs and other suplies on the floor and moved closer in time to see his friend catch the flushed boy´s face in his arms. "Duo, the Healer is here. Everything will alright now," he whispered, but there was a strength behind the silent words, strength he was trying to force upon the exhausted lifebearer.

Trowa´s eyes widened. "Is this Duo Maxwell?" he asked his friend, his voice resonating with shock. If he awaited an answer, he was mistaken. Heero just turned to him and glared.

"What´s going on?" the Healer asked moving around his friend and laying his cool hand on the heated forehead of his patient. He frowned. The fever was dangerously high, and the fact that the boy was not sweating wasn´t good at all. He pushed his friend aside and Heero followed his lead without protest.

"Duo is pregnant but got beaten pretty badly yesterday. He felt warm but overnight it turned to a full blown fever. He can´t keep anything down and he is bleeding profusely," Heero explained watching the Healer move his skillfull hands to Duo´s neck to check the pulse. He didn´t like the frown that settled on his friend´s forehead. He didn´t like it at all and he felt useless just standing there and not being able to help in any way.

"Why didn´t you fetch the village Healer when you didn´t find me? I know you dislike the villagers but..."

"He wouldn´t come," Heero said, his voice grave and promising retribution.

Trowa´s hands stopped at the cramping abdomen and he looked at Heero, his eyes deadly serious. "What?" he asked. There was such an iciness in his voice that it made even Heero shudder. If there was one thing that angered the otherwise peaceful Healer, it was Healers who refused to help people in need, callously breaking the oath every Healer made when starting this path.

Heero watched Duo´s eyes close then blink open slowly. The violet depths were glazed and Heero wasn´t sure if he was even registering what was going on around him. Seeing the lifebearer move, he dropped his voice before continuing: "He was unclaimed when he got pregnant. And you know what that means."

Trowa watched Heero a second longer, then returned to his task. They could talk about it when his patient was out of danger. Shutting off any indications of anger or hate that would only cloud his mind, he proceeded with his examination. He really didn´t like the cramping of muscles under his palms.

Duo tried to hold his eyes open, but his eye lids slid shut again. He was so tired and even the damaging pain that wracked his body felt distant. He suspected that the numbness that was taking over his body wasn´t good at all. He tried to hold on, to stay awake for the sake of his child. Somehow he knew that if he fell asleep, if he succumbed to the darkness that beckoned him, everything would be over. He fought with all his might, the thought of his child the only ray of light in the darkness. But it was so hard, so terribly, terribly hard and he was so tired. So tired...

Trowa moved between the lifebearer´s spread legs. The breath caught in his throat. Only once in his life had he seen a lifebearer miscarry but he would never forget it. Trowa knew what the amount of blood meant and he was sure his friend knew it too. He pulled away the soaked piece of cloths. One quick look was enough, and the Healer knew what he needed to know. He took the white linen the Enforcer was offering him and pressed it against the lifebearer´s rectum. He then stood up and moved to where his bag with supplies lay.

"Well?" Heero asked him impatiently.

Trowa shot him a glance, then returned to his work. He pulled small bundles of herbs, took a leaf of this and a piece of that, then grabbed a mortar and pestle from the shelf and started to crush the herbs together.

"I will need hot water," he said.

Heero watched Trowa a second longer but when his friend didn´t say anything else he moved to the fireplace and took a small metal pot from the hook over the flames and set it on the table next to Trowa. The Healer nodded not even taking his eyes from his task.

"Will you be able to... save him?" Heero asked finally when his friend kept silent.

Trowa´s hand faltered for a moment. "I don´t know," he answered truthfully. "He´s fully open which means that the baby is dead and the body is trying to get rid of it. That´s why he´s bleeding," he explained.

Heero´s breath caught in his troath and his eyes slid to the feverish lifebearer on the bed. He knew that it would damage Duo, if not destroy him completely. No matter what he had to endure for his child, he loved the little being. That much did he understood over the short time he spent in his company. He noticed the small touches he was giving his abdomen as if he was talking to the little thing inside of him. And now this...

"And Duo? What about him?" Heero asked when he managed to get his feelings under control again.

Trowa didn´t look up from his task. "I don´t know," he admitted. "I´ve seen a miscarriage before but the blood... This amount of blood is not normal, Heero," he said softly. "Something is wrong. Either the body can´t get rid of the baby or the person who beat him up damaged something inside him. If it´s the first thing this-" he lifted the bowl a little "-will help. If it´s the second..." he paused for a moment. "I don´t know enough to heal internal injuries, Heero..."

Heero was quiet for a minute, his eyes still on the sick young man on the bed. Strange feelings warred in him, but his expression remained impassive.

"How can I help?" he asked finally.

Trowa looked him in the eyes and seeing the determined look in them, the healer nodded to himself. "Here," he said reaching into his bag. He pulled out a small jar. "Rub this into the skin of his lower abdomen. The ointment has a strong numbing effect. It should ease some of the pain the cramps are causing."

Heero took the small ceramic jar and without further questioning he moved to the bed. He sat down next to the feverish figure and laid the jar on the ground. He touched the cloth on Duo´s forehead. It was almost dry.

Duo´s eyes opened to follow his movement as he rinsed the cloth. Heero touched the lifebearer´s dry lips and let a couple of droplets fall into the slightly open mouth. Heero then ran the cloth down Duo´s cheeks and his neck, before rinsing the cloth again and laying it on the burning forhead.

Duo licked his lips and tried to say something, but a quiet moan was the only thing that passed his cracked lips.

"Don´t try to talk," Heero admonished him. The Enforcer bent down and picked the jar from the floor. He opened it and the air filled with a strange smell of various mixed herbs. Heero covered his fingers with the jar´s yellow mixture then turned to the naked figure on the bed. Gently he started to rub the ointment on Duo´s abdomen. The lifebearer tensed at first, the gentle pressure of his fingers causing a violent cramp that shook the lithe body. Slowly though, almost one muscle at a time, Duo relaxed as the numbing quality of the ointment took effect.

Heero heard the Healer approach and smelled the hot brew Trowa was carrying but he didn´t cease his administration, nor did he look away from the peaceful expression finally appearing on Duo´s face.

Trowa knelt on the ground next to the bed and touched the lifebearer´s neck to check the pulse again. The quick and irregular pace of Duo´s heart worried him but there was nothing he could do about right away; first he had to stop the bleeding. The Healer turned his head and looked at his friend.

"He needs to drink it, Heero," Trowa explained lifting the ceramic cup. "I need you to lift him up."

Heero nodded and placed the open jar back on the floor again, then took a hold of Duo´s shoulders and raised him carefully. The hot body in the Enforcer´s arms was pliant and unresisting. Trowa and Shinigami moved out of the way so that Heero could slide behind Duo and let the lifebearer rest against his chest. Trowa then moved back to kneel by the bed while Shinigami sat by his side, whining unhappily.

"Duo?" Trowa said touching the lifebearer´s cheek with his left hand. "Duo, do you hear me?" he asked again when he got no response.

This time the heavy eyes opened just a little and the longhaired head lolled to one side on Heero´s chest.

"Duo, I need you to do something for me, okay?" Trowa bent his head a little to look Duo in the eyes and to make sure he was listening to him or at least registering him. "You have to drink this, okay?" He tried to make the sentences as simple as possible, knowing, that Duo wouldn´t understand much in his state anyway. "Okay?"

Heero helped Duo straighten up, then held him as the lifebearer blinked tiredly.

Trowa held the cup with the brew to the sick young man´s lips, making sure that he didn´t didn´t take too much at once. A coughing fit was the last thing they needed now. One sip at a time the liquid disappeared. Thankfully the herbs helped Duo to keep it down.

"Good," Trowa smiled at his patient reassuringly and caressed Duo´s face in a comforting manner.

"What now?" Heero asked quietly, still holding Duo in his arms as the lifebearer´s eyes slowly closed. Soon they both could tell he was fast asleep.

Trowa set the cup on the floor and rinsed the cloth again. "We wait. The brew should help with the fever and the cramps. As I said before, the body has to clean itself before it can start to heal. I´ll make another brew in a bit, but it´s up to him now."

Together the Enforcer and the Healer watched over the restless sleep of the sick lifebearer.

===

5

It was around midnight when Trowa declared the baby dead. His look was grim as he carefully folded the piece of cloth that contained the bloody evidence of what might have been. In this early stage of a lifebearer´s twelve month pregnancy, the baby hadn´t been more than a little lump of blood and tissue, but he would make sure that it was buried properly. It had been a living being after all and so the end of this life would be honored in a proper manner.

Some time after the body cleansed itself, the bleeding slowed down until only a few bright red spots marked the white piece of linen. It would be a couple of days before the torn tissue and veins knitted themselves together and the bleeding stopped. Until then, Duo would have to eat soft foods only and a healing ointment that should help prevent an infection would need to be applied on the aggravated places in his rectum.

The first rays of the autumn sun lit the hut through the window they opened in an attempt to cool down the raging fever that now finally broke, leaving Duo covered in sweat, his brows furrowed as a nightmare hit his dreamscape. Heero and Trowa could breathe out now. The battle for the lifebearer´s life had been won. But what will the loss of his child do to his already damaged psyche?

*-*-*-*-*-*
"So don´t forget. Duo must drink the brew at least twice a day. Three times would be better," Trowa reminded his friend while packing his things.

Heero nodded, closing the heavy shutters on the window. He didn´t want the lifebearer to get sick again now that his fever broke.

Trowa slung his plain linen pack over his shoulder, then moved to the bed once again. Lightly, he touched Duo´s flushed cheeks with his cool hand. The lifebearer felt still warm, but the raging fever was fortunately gone. Trowa pulled the blanket up to Duo´s chin then straightened.

"I want you to use the ointment I left you here. Rub it into the skin of his abdomen. The cramps are gone, but they put a great strain on the muscles and the ointment will help to loosen them."

Heero nodded again, his eyes lingering on the lifebearer too. Duo´s prostrate form lay unmoving under a heavy blanket. He didn´t stir since they last forced him to drink the brew Trowa made. The Healer didn´t seem to worry about it though. He said that it could be a couple of more hours before Duo woke up. The lifebearer´s body was exhausted to the point of unconsciousness.

After nodding to himself, Trowa turned around and walked to the door. He opened it and stepped outside. It was a beautiful although cold day. The smell of winter hung in the air. Heero walked after him, stopping in the dorway.

Trowa took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the weak sun dance across his face. He was so tired...

"Thank you for everything," Heero said, breaking the silence that settled between them.

The Healer turned to his equally tired looking friend. "Should he get worse, just send Shinigami for me. I don´t think that it will happen, though."

Heero nodded.

Trowa moved to walk away, then stopped and turned back to his friend. "Heero... maybe this warning is unnecessary but... watch out for him," he said quietly pointing at the hut. "To lose a child is the worst thing that could happen to a lifebearer. In his desperation to be reunited with his child, he might do something... drastic and very very foolish."

Heero didn´t say anything. He knew exactly what his friend was talking about. Suicide. It wasn´t an uncommon occurrence among the lifebearers who lost their children. For them, it was as if a part of themselves was missing for they were linked to their children until the day they themselves died. Only the strongest survived such loss. And even they needed much care, patience and a lot of support.

"You need to give him a purpose to keep living," Trowa explained. "The first couple of days are critical. If you help him overcome this deep depression he´ll be on the way to recovery, not only physically but emotionally too."

Heero nodded again, not sure how he would do it, though. He wasn´t the best person for giving comfort. When his friend still hesitated, he raised his eyebrows at him.

"Mind if I ask you a question?" Trowa asked quietly.

The Enforcer shrugged. It didn´t mean he had to answer.

"Whose child was it?"

Heero blinked. "Does it matter now?" he answered with a question of his own.

Trowa looked at him for a while. "No, I don´t think it matters anymore," he agreed. Then he turned around and walked away.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Duo felt hot and his whole body ached. He tried to move but his limbs felt so heavy. Slowly, he opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. The hut. He was in Heero´s hut. He turned his head to the side slightly, and spotted Heero by the fireplace. The Enforcer was pouring something into a small ceramic cup. Suddenly Duo realized how thirsty he was. He tried to swallow, but his throat burned.

He must have made some noise for a big black head popped into his field of vision. The dog. What was his name again? Oh yeah, Shinigami. The black beast was giving him his version of a happy smile, but Duo couldn´t muster the strength to smile back.

"I see you´re awake."

Heero´s voice made Duo tear his eyes away from the dog. He watched the Enforcer cross the small hut and sit on the edge of the bed. The lifebearer tried to say something, but his tongue was just too dry.

"Here," Heero said. Helping him raise his head, he held the cup to Duo's lips.

At first the moisture felt like heaven, but then the bitter taste hit his tongue and Duo´s brows furrowed. He didn´t like it. He tried to move his head away, but Heero frowned at him.

"You have to drink it all. The Healer ordered it!"

The Healer? Oh yes, he remembered a man with weird bangs hiding one of his eyes. The Healer had had gentle, cold hands and he had been smiling at him every time Duo woke up. In his presence, the lifebearer had the feeling that someone really cares for him after all. Heero´s hands that held him firmly but gently, let Duo feel the same thing now. Someone cared. When the cup was empty and Heero laid Duo´s head back down on the pillow, the longhaired young man croaked out: "Wha´ happ´nd?"

"You had a high fever and you lost a lot of blood," Heero explained, watching the cup in his hands.

Duo frowned. Blood? He bled? How...? Horror gripped his heart and his hands, the same hands that hadn´t been able to move just minutes ago, moved at lightning speed to touch his flat abdomen. The baby...? In his mind he searched for the gentle connection that had been there since the moment the baby had been sired. He hadn´t noticed it for a long time, since it developed so slowly and naturally. But now the lack of that connection hit him with full force. He gripped his abdomen, his mind racing frantically.

"Nonononono..." He didn´t even realize that he was repeating this mantra aloud, his whole mind frozen, unable to handle such tragedy.

"Duo..." Heero laid his hand on Duo´s shoulder, but the lifebearer recoiled from the touch, his violet eyes wide open, pleading with Heero to deny what he already knew, to tell him he was wrong, to...

But Heero couldn´t lie to him. Not about this. "Your baby is gone," Heero whispered, killing the last sparkle of hope in the beautiful eyes.

Dead... his baby was dead... The all-consuming pain ripped through the lifebearer´s heart and mind. Duo turned on his side facing the wall, his back to Heero. He curled up in a fetal position as much as his hurting body allowed it. He felt his mind shutting down, the only reaction to a situation he couldn´t handle. He didn´t fight the cold feeling that spread through his body. He shut the outside world off. Nothing mattered anymore... for his child was dead.

Dead...

*-*-*-*-*

They settled in a quiet routine. Heero made Duo eat and drink, took care of his wounds and didn´t let the lifebearer out of his sight, while Duo remained totally unresponsive, locked in his own private hell. Nothing Heero did managed to break through the cold shell that settled in Duo´s beautiful eyes. And although he tried over and over again, he knew, that the only thing he could do was wait.

It was on the third day after the lifebearer woke up that Heero had to go out to chop some wood. He was swinging the axe as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave Duo alone for too long when he heard a crash come from the house. He dropped the axe and ran back to the hut, a cold feeling gripping his heart.

When he threw the door open, he froze. On the floor in the middle of the hut, Duo was half sitting, half kneeling on the floor, the blankets twisted around his body, hair spread around him like a chestnut waterfall. His face was twisted in grief, his eyes tightly closed. Next to him Shinigami was lying, his head on Duo´s bare knee, whining loudly. The dog didn´t understand what was going on, but he knew that something was wrong.

But what made Heero´s throat tighten and his heart beat wild, was the hunting knife in Duo´s hands. Head thrown backwards, he was holding it up, pointing at the jugular in his neck.

Then the knife swung down.

===

6

The breath caught in Heero's throat and his eyes widened. Duo was sitting half-naked on the floor, among the shards of a broken cup. A knife raised in the long-haired boy's hands. Heero froze. He feared that the slightest move could break the serene picture, and let the knife slide into the soft, white skin on the lifebearer´s neck.

But then the muscles on Duo´s arms flexed and Heero moved. He threw himself across the room in an attempt to stop the downward arc of the gleaming knife. Reaching out, he caught the naked blade with one of his bare hands and Duo´s joined hands with his other.

For a fraction of a second everything was still. The sharp point of the knife touched the pale curve of the long neck, and one red droplet fell from the small nick in the skin.

Shinigami had scrambled out of Heero´s way to sit nearby. Now the dog watched his two humans with sorrowful eyes, whining quietly.

Then Duo´s eyes popped open, an expression of utter horror spreading over his face. He started to fight frantically, trying to pull his hands out of Heero´s strong grasp, to move away from the Enforcer and hide in a place where nobody would find him. He had failed again.

Heero didn´t even blink. His face remained completely emotionless as the blade buried itself deeper into his palm. The hot wetness dripping down on Duo´s naked knee alerted the distraught lifebearer to the fact that something was wrong. The struggle ceased as his violet eyes fell on Heero´s hand, still holding the dangerous weapon tightly. Duo´s eyes widened in shock. He... he did that?

The Enforcer felt Duo´s grip on the knife slacken, and so he quickly pulled the weapon out of the lifebearer´s grasp. Turning it around in his hand, the dark-haired man gripped it by the point and threw it across the room. It buried itself into the wall next to the fireplace, safely out of Duo´s reach. He let go of Duo´s hands, which fell limply into the lifebearer´s lap.

This seemed to pull Duo out of his frozen state. Tearing his eyes away from Heero´s bloodied hand, the lifebearer tried to scramble backwards, away from the Enforcer. His legs were twisted in the white sheets, which hindered his movement, but it only took a second to untangle himself. It was still enough though for Heero to catch Duo´s naked shoulders tightly in his hands, smearing the lifebearer´s skin with crimson blood. Panic gripped Duo, and he started to fight again, kicking, screaming, and thrashing, trying to get out of Heero´s reach.

"Stop it," Heero hissed. When Duo didn´t seem to have heard him, he shook the long-haired man like a ragdoll. "I said *stop it*!" he ordered, raising his voice for the first time since he took Duo in roughly five days ago.

Something in the cold voice prompted Duo to cease fighting. He raised his head, watching Heero through his tangled locks. His eyes held the haunted look of a cornered animal.

Heero stayed kneeling on the floor, watching the long-haired man intently. "What do you think you are *doing*, huh?" he shouted at Duo, shaking the lifebearer violently a second time. "What are you *doing*?!"

Duo didn´t respond. His teeth rattled from the shaking and the deep ache he felt since he fell from the bed turned into a sharp pain. He moaned.

Hearing the sound Heero stopped shaking the other man. He looked at Duo for a moment as if finally realizing whom he was holding in his arms. The grip he had on Duo´s shoulders gentled, but was still firm.

They looked each other in the eyes for a long moment. Heero´s eyes were icy, while Duo´s were desperate.

Heero lowered his head. "I have had enough," he said quietly, his voice cool. "I have had enough of tiptoeing around you. Enough of pampering you and playing to your moods!" Heero lifted his head and looked Duo directly in the eyes. The expression on the Enforcer´s face made Duo flinch. "This can´t go on," Heero continued. "I can´t stand guard over you the whole day and I don´t want to come home from the watch to find you here in a pool of blood!" His voice was frosty. "Your baby is dead! Accept it and move on!"

Duo flinched again and closed his eyes. Hearing the truth, said out loud, hurt too much. He shook his head violently.

"The baby is dead!" Heero repeated with more force. "It´s dead but you are not! You didn´t die!"

"But I should have," Duo whispered.

Heero froze hearing the desperate tone. He reacted in the only way he knew.

The smack of the slap echoed through the hut.

Duo´s head was thrown to the side. His eyes popped open with shock. Slowly he turned his head back to Heero and gasped, seeing the cold fury blaze in the Enforcer´s eyes.

"Don´t you ever EVER say something like that again. Never! Nothing is worth of killing yourself for! Not even this!"

The last words tore through Duo´s mind and he felt something break inside him. It was the dam holding his emotions. All the feelings of anger, hate, grief and desperation poured out and overflowed his mind.

"Nothing? You call my baby nothing?" he screamed pushing Heero in the chest and overbalancing him. "How dare you!" Duo shouted, his eyes flashing. "You don´t know how it is to carry another life within you, to cherish it, love it more than anything and then have it ripped away from you! You don´t know how it is to survive your own child! I´ve failed!"

Heero sat on the floor facing Duo, his wounded hand lying palm up on his thigh. He had a guarded expression on his face as he watched the enraged lifebearer, but something in his eyes made it obvious that he really didn´t know. Duo´s hands folded into fists on his thighs, his face pale and drawn, eyes glistening.

"I´m a failure! A total failure!" Duo screamed, tears streaming down his face and self-loathing filling his voice. "I can´t do anything right." The lifebearer closed his eyes and shook his head. "My father was right. I am worthless,“ he whispered and hung his head.

"That´s not true," Heero answered quietly.

Duo´s head shot up. "Isn´t it? I killed my baby! Don´t you understand? I killed it!" he shouted.

Slowly as if not to spook the distraught lifebearer Heero got up on his knees, then moved closer. "No, you didn´t."

Duo shook his head, his hair flying wildly around him. "You don´t understand! It´s dead! My baby is dead and I killed it!"

Cautiously, Heero stretched out his arms and wrapped them around Duo. For once, he decided, he would follow his feelings. "But you didn´t kill it..."

"I did!" The long-haired man struggled in the Enforcer´s arms for a moment before giving up and catching the flaps of Heero´s jacket in his hands. "I did..." he sobbed. "My baby is dead, Heero. It´s dead. Please, give me my baby back. Please. I want my baby back, Heero. It can´t be dead. Please, Heero." Duo pressed his face into Heero´s chest and let the tears fall.

Heero held the weeping lifebearer in his arms as the deep sobs wracked the slight body. To his surprise, he found himself rocking back and forth slightly, caressing the curve of Duo´s naked back in a soothing gesture.

He never knew it felt so warm to care.

===

7

It took a while before Duo´s harsh sobs turned into hiccups, and finally into soft, tired panting. They were still sitting on the floor, curled around each other in a tight embrace. The dark, plaguing emotions had been released and only a bone deep exhaustion stayed behind.

A strong gust of wind tore through the half open door, throwing it open fully. The door hit the wall and remained wide open, allowing cold, autumn wind to take residence in the hut. Duo shivered as the cool air touched his naked skin. He hunched his shoulders and pressed himself even closer into Heero´s chest, loath to leave his safe sanctuary.

"Cold?" Heero asked, looking down at the small bundle in his arms. Duo nodded, not looking up. "Let´s get you back into bed," the Enforcer said, swiftly moving from his kneeling position into a crouch. Placing his arms around Duo, Heero lifted the lifebearer up and settled him back onto the bed.

Duo sat down carefully and tried not to wince; it still hurt. Heero tucked the blankets around him and Duo snuggled into them. They couldn´t replace the wonderful feeling of a human touch, but at least they made him feel warm on the outside. He was convinced that he would never again get warm on the inside, where it counted the most.

"Better?" Heero asked.

The lifebearer nodded. "Yes, thank you," he answered.

The Enforcer straightened and started to turn around to close the door, when he felt Duo´s cold fingers on his wrist. He looked down to see Duo watching the slowly drying blood on his injured hand with sad eyes.

"I didn´t want to," Duo whispered and turned the Enforcer´s hand palm up. Gently, he traced the gaping wound with the tip of his finger.

"It´s okay," Heero assured him. "I´ve been hurt worse." He wanted to make Duo feel better with his answer, but obviously it didn´t work, because Duo´s face twisted in a grimace of pain.

"Can I... can I help you bandage it?" the lifebearer asked, his eyes still fixed on the sluggishly bleeding cut.

"No, it´s okay. I can take care of it myself," Heero tried to assure him again. Seeing Duo´s shoulders slump dejectedly, he figured he had said the wrong thing again.

Duo sighed and let the hand go carefully. It would be just perfect if he hurt Heero even more. He brought the blankets tightly around him. He didn´t look up when he heard Heero move away and close the door. Duo sighed again. Shinigami paddled slowly towards him, then sat down by the bed and laid his head on his blanket covered knee. The dog´s ears twitched and he whined in a low tone, his eyes sad. Duo lifted his hand and laid it on the dog´s head, scratching gently. Shini nuzzled his hand, then licked it. Duo looked at him, then smiled sadly.

"I´m more trouble than I´m worth, Shini," Duo whispered to the dog.

The lifebearer straightened in surprise when something fell into his lap. He looked at it... Gauze?

Duo raised his eyes in time to see Heero drag a chair closer to the bed. The Enforcer laid a bowl with warm water and a piece of cloth in it, and the jar with ointment Trowa left behind, on the wooden chair. Duo blinked in confusion at him again as Heero sat on the edge of the bed next to him. The Enforcer rested his injured hand on Duo´s other knee, the one that wasn´t occupied with the black dog´s head.

Seeing Duo´s confused look, Heero glared a little. "You wanted to bandage it, right?" he asked harshly.

The lifebearer watched him for a minute, then smiled a little. "Yeah," he answered and reached over to wring out the wet piece of cloth.

The next couple of minutes were spent in silence. Carefully, Duo cleaned the wound. It hadn´t been as deep as he feared. All the blood made it look bad but once cleaned, the wound didn´t look that bad. It wasn´t deep, and from what Duo could tell, it didn´t require stitches. He felt relieved.

"It´s not bad," the lifebearer said to break the silence that settled upon them.

"Told you so," Heero answered.

Throwing the cloth back into the bowl, Duo looked at Heero quickly before lowering his eyes again. He then took the jar in his hand and opened it. Taking a little of the ointment on the fingers of his right hand, he laid the jar aside. Gently he took Heero´s injured hand in his left and started to apply the ointment on the wound. It felt good to help someone, but... He let the thought trail off, uncertain.

"You know that you could... that you could get rid of me now, Heero?" Duo asked quietly, not looking up. He felt Heero´s eyes on him. "You could just... go to the chieftain and say that you´re taking the claim back," Duo continued, his fingers gently rubbing the cut. "It´s not a common custom but..."

"Why would I do that?" Heero asked, his voice genuinely curious.

Duo blinked furiously to push back the tears. "I lost... I lost the baby," he said as if that explained everything.

"So?"

Duo´s grip on Heero´s hand tightened. "Some sires take it as offense, as a breach of their right. Most sires claim lifebearers to have children and..."

"That´s not the reason why I claimed you," Heero interrupted him.

Duo looked up, his eyes full of surprise. "No?"

Heero looked away, his eyes fixed somewhere on the wall above the fireplace. "No."

Duo blinked again. He didn´t understand. "Then why...?"

"Your father would´ve killed you if I hadn´t. for I know your child´s sire wouldn´t have spoken out, and you wouldn´t have said anything," Heero answered, his voice grave.

Duo swallowed. Did Heero know who the father of his child was? How...?

Heero must have felt the lifebearer´s eyes on him, for he turned his head and looked Duo in the eyes.

"I saw you," he said quietly, as if sensing what Duo was thinking about. "You and Wufei. In the woods."

Duo froze, his breath catching in his throat. They had been so careful...

"It´s my duty to watch over people when they venture into the woods. The forest is a dangerous place..."

"Why... why didn´t you say anything?" Duo asked, his voice tight.

Heero shrugged matter of factly. "It wouldn´t have changed anything, would it? Chang is a coward if he didn´t speak up. Even if people would have learned the truth... If the sire doesn´t claim his baby, it doesn´t matter if the whole village knows. And he wouldn´t have done it. It would have made the situation even worse for you. To have an unclaimed child is bad. But to have it with a sire who isn´t free anymore..."

Duo swallowed and lowered his eyes. They wouldn´t have just killed him. They would have stoned him to death. The same punishment that still hung over his head, should Heero withdraw his claim back and return Duo to his family. The lifebearer shuddered. To be stoned for shaming his family, either through sleeping with a sire who belonged to another, or for losing his child and thus proving himself to be unworthy of the status of a lifebearer. He shuddered again.

"If you knew... about the shame I brought onto myself... then why did you claim me?" Duo croaked out his question. He needed to know.

"It´s a long time since I had sworn that I won´t let anything happen to you," Heero whispered, his injured hand encircling Duo´s cold fingers.

The lifebearer looked up, confused. "You swore? When? I don´t remember!"

A small smile tugged on Heero´s lips as he caressed the cold hand in his with his thumb. "Obviously."

"What..."

"Duo, I won´t take you back to the village. I won´t withdraw my claim," Heero said, his voice firm. "Trust me."

The lifebearer was looking at him, his eyes wide. Heero swore? Duo´s mind was whirling.

"Trust me!" Heero repeated when the lifebearer kept silent.

Duo blinked. "I trust you, Heero," he answered finally, and was surprised that he really meant it. Something deep inside of him was telling him that he could trust his life and soul to this man, that Heero would never hurt him.

"Good," Heero nodded. "Now, I want you to promise me something."

Duo looked him in the eyes.

"Promise me that you´ll never try to kill yourself again." The lifebearer swallowed and looked away. But Heero caught Duo´s chin in his hand and turned it back to him. "Promise me! I know that you never lie." He didn´t react to the surprised look Duo gave him. "I need to know that you´ll never try to harm yourself again."

Duo didn´t know what to say. Heero knew that he never lied, but how did he know? And if he promised, he would keep his promise no matter what. But... Taking a deep breath, he made a decision. It was time to make the first step. He looked Heero directly in the eyes and with a firm voice, he said: "I promise."

This time Heero really smiled. "Good." He let go of Duo´s chin, and looked down at his hand where the ointment was slowly drying and starting to itch. "Can you finish the bandaging now? I have to go finish chopping the wood."

Duo nodded and returned to his task, but his mind was busy. He had promised. There wasn´t an easy way out anymore. He would have to pull himself together. Heero made him promise, so there was one thing he had to live for now, one reason why he couldn´t just die. He didn´t kid himself. The road that lay ahead of him wouldn´t be easy but maybe... just maybe this decision was the first step.

===

8

Three days later, Heero decided to go on watch again. With a stern look, he reminded Duo of his promise and snapping out a "Stay!", and Duo didn´t know whether it was directed at him or at Shinigami. He watched as Heero left the hut.

Waiting for a moment to be sure that Heero really left, Duo fell back onto the pillows and sighed out loud. "Finally! I thought he would never leave!"

Shinigami raised his head from his paws and gave the lifebearer a dog imitation of ´huh?´

Duo turned onto his side and looked at the dog, who was watching him from underneath the table. "I really like Heero. He is the kindest person I´ve ever met." Duo sighed again, his eyes misting over lightly. "I wish... I wish he had been the real father of my child. He would have protected us. He would have never allowed anything to happen to us," he whispered, his arm sneaking underneath the blanket where it rested on his lower abdomen that still ached for the child he had lost. "But..." Duo´s eyes snapped back into the present. "I swear, if he had hovered over me one more day I would have thrown a fit!" he complained to the black beast that was watching him with intelligent eyes.

Shinigami whined a little as if saying: ´Oh really?´

"Really," Duo answered the dog´s gaze with a little smile. Then he gingerly sat up, wincing as the dull ache in his stomach intensified. He threw the covers to the side, then lowered his legs over the edge of the bed. He shivered. Even though the fire was burning high in the fireplace, the hut was still cold.

Watching his new human doing something he probably shouldn´t, Shinigami stood up and padded over. He sat down in front of the human the Leader of the pack seemed to take as one of his own, and cocked his head to the side as if asking ´And what do you think you are doing?´


Duo tsk'ed as he moved closer to the edge of the bed. When he noticed the dog staring at him, he blinked with surprise. "What? You don´t like me getting up? Tough luck, Shaggy. Heero made me promise to go on. Fine. But that means that I can´t just keep laying around and being useless. Heero did so much for me already, and now it´s time for me to keep up my share in this house-" he looked around, "err... huthold." When the dog kept looking at him as if he absolutely didn´t agree with what he was doing, Duo sighed. "Look, doggie. I´ve never been one to just lie around and do nothing. If... if my baby was still alive..." he swallowed, his right hand sneaking back to his lower abdomen, an unconscious gesture that he developed in the past week, "I would be laying around as much as needed to keep my baby alive and healthy. I wouldn´t risk hurting it for anything... But now, this melding with the bed is useless." He blinked back the stinging of tears that came to him too quickly these days, and some of the strength that was such a natural part of him before the whole disaster returned. "I should start moving around a bit. Trowa said that too when he visited us yesterday."

Shinigami whined again and huffed as if saying ´Do what you want, I don´t care. But you´re still crazy.´ Then he turned around and padded back to his place under the table.

"Thank you for agreeing with me!" Duo called after him and Shinigami wagged his tail once in a ´whatever´ gesture before lying down, yawning and settling his head on his forepaws again.

Duo sighed once again. Even though he tried to put on a brave face he really wasn´t sure if his decision to get up was that wise. His stomach still hurt, painful cramps shooting through his lower abdomen from time to time. But if he kept lying around and staring at the ceiling, he would go crazy. He would have never thought that it could be so scary to be alone with his thoughts. They kept turning and turning around in a circle, coming back to one thing: his baby and the mess his life was now. And from there his mind went downhill fast, his eyes roaming over the room finding something with which he could... And that was where his promise stopped his wandering mind and moved his thoughts over to Heero. Another dangerous theme. Duo still didn´t understand why the Enforcer took him in. If it wasn´t the baby or any future babies - which he really hoped he still could have... oh, another dangerous alley - then why did he do it? He said he had promised to protect him once. Strange. Because no matter what, Duo couldn´t remember this promise. Sometimes he had the feeling it was right there, he only had to reach for it and then the memory was gone. And Heero wouldn´t tell him anything, which was frustrating. And when Duo was frustrated, he got restless. So he really had to get out of bed.

Duo took a deep breath, and propping himself up on his arms, he slowly stood up. He groaned as a cramp in the small of his back took him by surprise. He swayed and almost fell back on the bed. He reached back with his left hand and tried to massage the cramp away. Slowly, it seemed to be working. When the muscles finally relaxed, Duo breathed out in relief. He really, really hated to be incapacitated and sick.

So, he was out of bed. What now? In that very moment, Duo shivered again. First things first: clothes. One step at a time, Duo moved to the chest that sat at the foot of the bed where Heero kept his clothes. They would be a little big for him, since he wasn´t as muscled and his shoulders weren´t as broad, but it would have to do. He would have to ask Heero for some clothes as soon as possible. He still didn´t know how, though. Heero had done so much for him already that Duo felt awkward about asking for something more.

When he finally shuffled over, he bent down groaning a little again as he strained the muscles in his back. He opened the heavy lid of the chest and pulled out a plain beige smock, similar to the one he came here in. The material was rougher than he was used to, but many things around here were rougher than at the village. And if it would keep him warm... He pulled the smock over his head.

Shinigami raised his head as his new human burst into laughter. The sound was unusual for the black dog, and so his ears twitched. It was a pleasant sound too. He liked it, he decided and thumped his tail against the floor a couple of times.

Duo looked at his shaggy audience and spread his arms. "Nice, huh?" he smiled. He looked like a kid wearing his parents´ clothes. He had always been thin, but the last couple of days without a proper meal that he would be able to keep down made him skinny, almost emaciated. The smock was hanging off him, one bony shoulder peeking out of the neck opening. "There could be two of me hidden here and nobody would notice." He smiled again. "Maybe there is some rope I could bind around my waist," he muttered to himself and dug into the chest again. After a couple of minutes he gave up. "Okay, no rope. So... pants next."

Shinigami watched the whole process as his new human slowly dressed in the oversized clothes. He still didn´t understand why people had to put so many things on them. If they had fur like he did, they wouldn´t have to look so ridiculous all the time.

"So?" Duo turned to the dog. "What do I look like?" he asked when he was finally dressed. He had the linen smock on together with woolen pants, that really itched, but were the only ones that didn´t fall to his ankles every time he let go of them, and Heero´s leather boots, that were thankfully at least near his size. "Nothing special, huh?" Duo asked the dog again and sighed. He could fairly see Shinigami raise his eyebrows. "Well, it will have to do. And now? My hair." He took one section and lifted it to his eyes. It was kind of filthy, and tangled as hell. He couldn´t do anything about the washing, but he could at least untangle the knots and braid it.

"Where does Heero hide his comb, Shini?" Duo asked the dog as he looked around the hut.

Shinigami yawned again and turned his back to him as if saying ´Why should I care?´

Duo sighed, setting his hands on his hips. He really hoped that Heero had a comb. Although with the way his hair was sticking in every possible direction... He groaned. He *really* hoped Heero had a comb.

He was just about to go and search for the damn thing, when Shinigami suddenly sprung to his feet and shot to the door. Duo turned to see the black dog sniff the air. The deep rumble that came from the dog´s throat startled him. In a matter of seconds, Shinigami turned from a big shaggy pet to a dangerous beast.

Slowly, Duo approached the snarling dog. "Shini? What is it, boy?" he asked quietly.

He wanted to say more, but his mouth snapped shut. Now even he could hear the steps coming closer to the hut. Duo held his breath. He was sure it wasn´t Heero. He had never heard Heero come and go, for the Enforcer moved silently, with a cat-like grace. These were the steps of someone in a hurry. What should he do?

The knock on the door startled him as much as Shinigami´s loud bark. The dog was snarling, his teeth bare.

Duo swallowed, and laid his hand on Shini´s head, patting it lightly. "Who... who is it?" he asked finally.

"Duo? It´s me."

The voice was quiet and a little breathless, but Duo would recognize it everywhere.

Wufei...

===

9a

Duo gasped, panic gripping his heart. Wufei. It was Wufei! He didn´t think he would ever see him again. He didn´t even have the time to think about how he would react if he met him again. And now the man who fathered his child was here.

What should he do?

The lifebearer pressed his left hand against the closed door, his right one gripped Shinigami´s black fur desperately. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit that he still had feelings for the black-haired man. They were dampened by the events of the last couple of days, but they were still there. Wufei was his first, and that, Duo would never be able to forget him. But this memory was overshadowed by the fact that the Sire didn´t want him. That even though Duo expected Wufei´s child, Wufei would have let him die, along with their baby. And Duo couldn´t help but think of the Wufei he loved and the one who refused to claim him and their child, as two different people.

It hurt to think about the Sire, and his betrayal. Duo wasn´t ready to deal with this whole mess. He was still hurting too much because of his baby. He couldn´t this confrontation on top of all the things that had happened already. Duo leaned his forehead on the rough surface of the door and closed his eyes.

"Go away," he said, his voice low and full of pain.

"Duo, please..." came the desperate plea from the other side of the door.

The lifebearer felt tears gather behind his eyelids, and he sniffed silently. His voice became even more quiet. "Go away, Wufei,"

There was a sigh from the other side of the door. Shinigami growled loudly, baring his teeth at the sound of feet shuffling. Wufei was quiet for a while but Duo knew that the Sire hadn´t left, that he was still there, waiting for gods knew what.

"Duo, I need to talk to you. I need to explain..."

The rest of the words drowned in the roar that filled Duo´s ears. He needed? HE needed? The sadness and desperation that seconds ago threatened to overwhelm the lifebearer´s mind, turned to rage. Hot, red, unforgiving rage. The shell that protected his raw mind finally cracked and the emotions he had been trying to squash forced their way to the surface.

In a burst of motion fueled by the incredible fury tearing his heart and mind apart, Duo threw the door open to face the startled young man.

"You need? You need? It´s all about you, isn´t it? You didn´t come here because you wanted to know if I´m even still breathing. You came because you felt guilty and wanted me to ease your conscience, smother you with sweet words of forgiveness," he screamed at Wufei, his hands balled in fists. "Well, you thought wrong. I won´t forgive you. Ever. Because you don´t deserve forgiveness for what you did!"

As if echoing Duo´s words, Shinigami crouched low. The dog´s hackles were up, and his teeth were bared. He growled deep in his throat, looking more like a wild wolf than a dog.

Wufei backed away a step at the sight but didn´t run. He swallowed and tore his eyes away from the black beast to look back at Duo. There was a look of complete horror on his face. "D... Duo, your face..." he whispered and raised his hand, as if to touch the fading bruises on Duo´s face.

Duo flinched, then knocked Wufei´s hand to the side. Shinigami barked, saliva dripping from his mouth.

"Don´t touch me ever again," the lifebearer warned the black haired man, his eyes ablaze with furious fire. "What did you expect after what my father did to me?" Duo ran his hand over the bruised cheeks. "Take a good look. This is the price I had to pay for your cowardice!"

Now it was Wufei´s turn to flinch. He looked to away. "I´m sorry," he said quietly.

Duo´s eyes narrowed, but he didn´t say anything.

Encouraged by Duo´s silence, Wufei raised his eyes to the man whose innocence he had stolen. "I... We need to talk. Can I come in?" he asked.

"No," Duo replied. "This isn´t my house and I don´t have any right to invite you in. If you want to talk, do it out here."

"I came to tell you how... how very very sorry I am about what happened. If I could take it back, the whole thing, I would have-"

"Take back what?" Duo interrupted him, his voice clipped. "The cowardly decision you´ve made? Or the baby? Or us?"

Wufei opened his mouth, then closed it again, and swallowed hard. "I don´t know," he answered, his tone sincere. "Maybe everything. I still have feelings for you," he admitted. "If we´d gotten together before my father married me to Meiran..." he trailed off and looked away again.

Duo crossed his arms on his chest. "Ah, Meiran," he said, sarcastic. "Does he know you´re here? That you went to visit your ex-lover?"

Wufei took in a sharp breath, then looked at Duo. "No, he doesn´t know. And... please, don´t tell him anything."

The dying fire in Duo´s eyes was immediatelly ablaze again. The lifebearer dropped his arms, balling his hands in fists again, his bruised face flushed with anger.

"That´s it, isn´t it?" Duo snapped, forcing his voice to stay calm. "You´re afraid that I will tell everything to Meiran to get back at you!" Wufei´s flinch proved his suspicion right. "How could you?! How could you think so little of me?" His voice rose in volume, quivering with suppressed emotion.

Duo could easily identify the black feeling trying to worm its way into his heart. It was hatred. Some saying said that there was only a fine line between love and hatred and Duo feared that he had crossed the line and didn´t even care. This man was his suffering personified. This was the man who could have stopped everything with one word. And he didn´t do it. This was the man who had been ready to sacrifice his lover and his child for the sake of his family´s damned honor. And in that moment, Duo realized he trully hated the man before him.

"I... I love Meiran," Wufei whispered, as if that explained everything.

"You love him?" Duo laughed bitterly. "Didn´t you tell me the same when you took me in that clearing for the first time? Didn´t you repeat it to me every time you got drunk and pulled my pants down? Didn´t you complain about how much you hated him, when you were fucking me?" The lifebearer was screaming. "I believed you! I trusted you! Gods, I was a naive child that truly believed every damn word you fed me! I had a crush on you… and you used it against me!"

Wufei frowned, the guilty look in his eyes turning into anger. "Now wait a minute there," he jumped in. "Don´t put it all on me. Two are necessary for that. I didn´t rape you. You were willing to lie with me! I didn´t hear you screaming for help when you spread your legs for me," he shouted, his temper rising.

The smack echoed through the clearing, startling them both.

Duo went from flushed to pale in the space of heartbeat. Wufei stood there, completely silent, his head still turned to one side. Shinigami was growling, waiting for the strange human to raise his hand. The dog wa waiting for a reason to tear Wufei to shreds for upsetting his new human.

"Go," Duo forced out quietly and lowered his head, feeling the burning sensation in his eyes. "Go and don´t come back ever again. You´re not welcome here and you never will be."

Wufei turned his head back and looked at Duo´s bowed head. The anger was gone from his eyes. "And the baby?" He was clearly reluctant but needing to know.

A flicker of the earlier rage passed through Duo´s eyes as he lifted his head, but it was gone even before Wufei could notice it. The lifebearer looked the raven haired man directly in the eyes.

"There is no baby," he answered coldly.

Wufei blinked, frowning in confusion. "Wh... What?" he stammered.

"There is no baby. I lost it on the second day I was here. You don´t need to worry about being compromised anymore," Duo assured him, his voice as ice-cold as his eyes.

Paling, Wufei swallowed painfully. "But... we... I didn´t know... The Healer didn´t say-"

"The Healer refused to come and help me, because I had been banned from the village. And no one is interested in rescuing an unclaimed whore," the lifebearer said, his voice bitter, but devoid of anger. "So you see, there is no reason for you to be here or come ever again. Your obligations towards me, even the ones you didn´t bother to respect, are gone. They died with the baby. And if you ever felt something for me at all, you´ll respect my wish to never see you again, Wufei Chang. Good bye," he said, his voice final, leaving no room for objections.

Duo turned around, calling Shinigami. The dog stubbornly growled at the shocked Sire as Duo closed the door quietly.

===

9b

Heero felt the peasants' stares following him as he walked the center path of the village, looking straight ahead. He wasn't bothered in the least by the comotion his presence caused. It was unusual for the Enforcer to enter the village without his duty making it necessary to be there for some reason. Today however, the purpose of his visit was private.

He left the main path and turned to the left to the common house, the home of the chieftain. Stopping in front of the door made of hard wood, he raised his hand and knocked briskly. Seconds later, the door opened. Father Maxwell, as everybody called the man who had been their chieftain for over two decades now, stood in the doorway.

"Heero," he said, mildly surprised by his presence. The surprise turned to a scowl almost immediately. "What do you want?" the man asked, annoyance marking his voice.

"I came for Duo's things," Heero replied, unfazed by the hostility in the older man's voice.

Father Maxwell scowled deeper and crossed his arms on his chest. "I don't know anybody who goes by that name. And even if I did, there is nothing in this house that would belong to a person who brought only shame on their family."

Heero's eyes narrowed. The other man's attitude was grating on his nerves. "Father Maxwell, I'm asking you to hand me over what belongs to Duo." Heero emphasized his words carefully as he added, "I won't ask you again."

Now it was the chieftain's turn to narrow his eyes, although his gesture looked less than confident against his skin's pallor. "Are you threatening me?" he asked, his heartbeat speeding up.

"Am I?" Heero answered with a question of his own. Two could play this game.

Father Maxwell glared at Heero for a little time longer, then his eyes shifted to something behind the Enforcer. Heero didn't have to turn around to know curious villagers were clustered at the gate.

"Do you really think that they would be of any help, if you decided to do something as stupid as attack me?" Heero asked calmly, seeing the chieftain ponder all his possibilities.

Father Maxwell glared again, but less confidently. Heero's returning gaze was steady. He knew perfectly who had the better cards. Even though the villagers didn't like Heero, and some of them even hated him, their fear was greater than their hate. As if to demonstrate his power, Heero let his hand rest on the hilt of his sword. The villagers immeditelly backed off, feet shuffling quickly.

The stalemate was broken when Solo stepped next to his father into the doorway. The young man held a plain linen bundle, full packed with clothes. Ignoring his father's glare, Solo handed it over to Heero.

"Here," he said quietly, but firmly. "These are all Duo's things."

Heero looked at him for a moment as if making sure Solo meant it. The Enforcer then reached out and took the bundle. It was quite heavy, and somehow Heero was sure that there weren't only clothes in it.

The Enforcer nodded to Solo. "Thank you." Then he looked back at the darkly scowling chieftain again. "This wasn't the only reason I came," he said. "I wanted to warn you." Heero turned to the onlookers. "All of you. Do not stray too deep into the forest these days. On the way here I discovered prints. The winter is coming and the wolves are on the move. They are drawing closer to the populated areas, seeking food."

"You are the Enforcer. Do something about it!" one of the peasants shouted at him. The rest nodded in agreement.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Heero asked, raising one eyebrow. "Stop the winter from coming? Kill all the creatures in the forest? I can do only so much. I will lay out traps and kill the ones who wander to far in our territory. I will keep watch, but I can't be there every time you decide to go pick wood."

"But you're responsible for us," called out another villager.

"I'm responsible for your safety, not your stupidity," Heero answered, looking the man directly in the eyes. When nobody said or asked anything anymore, Heero hoisted the pack higher on his forearm. Without giving the chieftain one last glance he made his way through the gathered people. The crowd parted before him, and closed again behind him as he passed.

Heero walked down the path, ignoring the faint murmurs drifting to him on the early winter breeze. He looked up at the sky. Dark grey coulds hung low, threatening with the first show of this winter. Plans started to take shape in his mind, of what he needed to do before his small hut was snowed-in. He now had two mouths to feed, and what was good for him wouldn't be good enough for Duo.

"Heero!"

He recognized Solo's voice, but he kept walking. He had nothing more to say to Duo's brother.

"Heero, wait!" Solo called again, running after the Enforcer. Finally catching up, the young man was a little breathless. "I... I wanted to ask you if you could give this to Duo," he said quietly, handing Heero a folded piece of parchment. When Heero only threw a glance at it and kept walking, Solo added, "It's a letter, from me. I want him to know that I still love him, and that it'll never change. Would you... give it to him? Please?"

Heero looked at the letter from the side again, then as if making his mind, he took it and shoved it into his leather vest. "This is the one and only time, Solo," Heero warned him, without looking at the younger man. "I'm not a messenger. Duo left this life behind. Unwillingly...but he did. Don't try to make him live a life he can never have again."

Solo swallowed and stared ahead, and the two walked quietly for a while. Solo was reluctant to head back. Heero was the only link he had to his brother. "Were you serious? About the wolves I mean," the young man asked, as if feeling the need for some small talk.

"I never lie," Heero answered coldly.

Well, I could think of one time you lied, Solo thought. A picture of his brother, half naked and beaten, popped into his mind. He shuddered, then thought of the latest village news. "Did you hear? The healer's hut burned down." Solo always disliked the man, but when the healer had refused to come when Solo tried to bring him to look at Duo after their father had beaten the lifebearer so cruelly. Solo hated the healer with all his heart.

"It did?" Heero asked matter of factly, his face unreadable.

Solo's eyes narrowed with suspicion. The Enforcer's voice was too collected and calm. "Yes. A candle was thrown over by the wind. All the herbs he collected over the years, burnt. All his work is destroyed." Solo paused, then added, "but he survived."

"What a shame," Heero said, not specifying whether he meant the destroyed herbs or the survival of that slimeball of man.

"Yeah," Solo agreed. He noticed the sideways glance Heero threw him, but decided against saying anything further for fear of angering the reticent man.

When they arrived at the border of the village, marked with a plank fence, Solo halted. Heero kept walking. Solo caught the sleeve of Heero's warm woolen smock. Heero stopped, then turned around, and glared at Solo.

Solo let go immediately, his cheeks coloring as he looked away. "I... I wanted to ask if..." he trailed off. Then he looked back at Heero, and took a deep breath. "Is Duo okay?"

"He is alive, and getting better," the Enforcer answered after a moment.

Solo sighed in relief, but then he realized what Heero had not said. "And the baby?" The Enforcer was silent, but Solo could see something in the other man's eyes. "He lost it, didn't he?" Solo whispered, swallowing hard. He had half-expected this, but it still hurt. The young man closed his eyes tightly, willing the tears to go away. "Tell him... tell him, I'm sorry."

Heero nodded. He turned around and walked away, leaving Solo watching him go.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Somewhere in the middle of the way between his hut and the village, Heero halted in his tracks. There under the tree lay a bloody carcass of a silver wolf. Laying the bundle of clothes on the ground, the Enforcer quietly crossed the small clearing, his eyes checking his surroundings. He felt a cold shiver run up his spine. It felt like he was being watched.

Heero crouched by the carcass. Steam was escaping the warm body in the cold air of the upcoming winter. It must be a recent kill, he thought, and checked the wound. Even in the waning light of the early autumn evening, he could see clearly that the animal was almost torn in half. There were deep wounds, caused by giant claws, marring the silver fur. It was a young wolf, but there were only few creatures living in this
forest that could cause this.

He heard something snap in the underbush. Quickly pulling his knife out of its sheath, the man whirled around, his eyes scanning the trees surrounding the clearing. The forest was quiet again...too quiet. Then his eyes fell on a print in the mood that wasn't completely frozen yet. It was a paw print: a huge one. Shifting the knife into his left hand, Heero laid his right one into the depressed earth of the print. His hand didn't even reach from one side to the other. Heero took a deep breath. It really didn't look good.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

He heard them scream at each other from afar, and the soft whinny of a horse floated to his ears. Wufei Chang was at his hut. Heero's eyes narrowed and his steps quickened.

He stepped into the clearing in front of the house, in time to see Duo close the door in Wufei's face. The Enforcer stopped in the middle of the clearing, the bundle hanging on his forearm and waited, his expression unreadable. Even when Chang turned around to see him, paling visibly, Heero's expression didn't change.

They stood there for some while, measuring each other. A couple of times Wufei opened his mouth to say something, but always closed it again with a snap. Finally the black haired man looked away, breaking the staring match. He shuffled his feet for a moment, knowing that he would have to pass Heero to leave.

As if realizing that the light was quickly fading, Wufei took a deep breath and started to walk to his horse, tied to a tree at the edge of the clearing. When he came abreast the Enforcer, Heero's voice stopped him.

"Come back again, and I will kill you," Heero said softly. He didn't look at Wufei at all. His eyes were fixed on the closed door, behind which Duo was waiting for him.

Wufei swallowed, then nodded. He understood.

Heero waited until the black haired man mounted his horse, then turned around. "Chang!" he called. The man looked at him expectantly, even if a little nervous, as Heero spoke. "Be careful. There is something out there, in the woods. Something big. Don't go through the forest, take the field road. It's longer, but safer. Ride quickly and no matter what, don't stop."

Wufei looked at Heero, as if gauging whether he really meant it or if it was an empty threat to make him nervous. But seeing the seriousness of Heero's expression, he nodded again. "Thank you for the warning, Enforcer," he called out politely, then turned his horse, clicking his tongue, urging the horse to a trot.

Heero listened to the hoofbeats fading in the distance. He couldn't detect any threat to the lonely rider, but that didn't mean anything. He hoped that Chang would follow his advice. Whatever killed the wolf would be hiding in the woods, where there was more food and better cover. The fields were too open. At least for now, Heero added silently. With time the beast might grow bolder, but he hoped to stop it before it came to that.

When the last sounds of the rider finally disappeared, Heero turned around. Squaring his shoulders, he walked up to the hut and opened the door.

===

10

"Heero, you´re already back?" Duo asked, as the Enforcer stepped over the threshold of their home. The lifebearer quickly wiped the tears running down his pale cheeks, and tried to smile at him.

Heero´s eyes narrowed as he noticed the reddened eyes and wet cheeks. "Is something wrong?" he asked, closing the door behind himself.

"No, nothing´s wrong, really," Duo hurried to reassure him. "Just being silly and feeling sorry for myself."

The Enforcer looked at Duo a moment longer without saying anything, then turned away. Shinigami padded to him, his tail wagging with delight to have his master home. Heero petted the dog, then crossed the room and dumped the burden he had been carrying on the table. "It´s for you," Heero stated, then started to unlace the heavy vest that protected him from the early winter chill.

Duo blinked at the plain linen bundle. "What is it?" he asked, moving away from the fireplace in which he had been staring just before Heero walked in.

"Your clothes."

The lifebearer frowned and raised his eyes to Heero. "My clothes?" he said, his voice confused.

The Enforcer turned around and headed to the fireplace to warm up his hands. "Yes. I went to the village. Your brother gave it to me."

"Solo?" Duo perked up, hearing his brother´s name. "How is he? What did he say? Is he okay?" he showered the Enforcer with questions.

Heero took his time to answer. He took off his vest and hung it on the hook near the fireplace to heat it up. He then turned to the lifebearer, who was bouncing up and down with impatience. "He wanted you to have this," Heero said, and handed Duo the folded piece of parchment.

The longhaired young man threw himself across the room as fast as possible and tore the letter out of Heero´s hand. As soon as he had it in his hands though, his hurry turned to hesitation. Gently, almost reverently, he caressed the red wax seal with which the letter was closed. It was Solo´s seal - a mountain cat in a jump. Duo closed his eyes and pressed the parchment to his chest. He missed his brother so much.

When he opened his eyes he found Heero watching him. "I... Thank you, Heero," Duo said quietly, then stepped closer and kissed the Enforcer´s slightly stubbled cheek. It was just a chaste kiss, but Duo blushed up to the roots of his hair anyway, then turned around quickly. So quickly that he didn´t notice the surprised expression Heero´s face wore.

For a moment he stopped by the bundle of his clothes. He really wanted to read the letter first, but the woolen pants he borrowed from Heero scratched his skin every time he moved and it was driving him crazy. Looking from the letter in his hands to the clothes on the table and back, he sighed finally. Duo laid the letter on the bed, glaring at Shinigami who padded over to sniff at it. "No, no. That´s mine, Shaggy," he warned the dog.

Watching the dog huff without interest and start to scratch behind one of his black ears, Duo turned and went back to the table. He untied the knot on the
bundle and opened the linen flaps.

Shirts, trousers, all made of soft, warm material. Duo smiled happily as he ran his hand over the items of clothing. Throwing a sideways glance at Heero, who was crouching in front of the fireplace and tossing in a few logs, he kicked off Heero´s too large shoes and quickly pulled down the awfully scratchy pants. The cold air touched his naked skin and Duo shivered. He pulled one of his favourite pairs of pants out of the pile and put them on. As soon as the soft material was in contact with his skin, he sighed in pleasure. He laced the pants together, then lifted his eyes. Only to meet Heero´s surprised ones. Duo blushed.

"Uh, I.. that is... I borrowed your clothes and they are... kind of... They itch," Duo said finally.

The Enforcer shrugged. "You get used to it."

The lifebearer lifted one of his eyebrows. He really doubted he would be able to get used to such torture.

"You can put your clothes in the chest with mine," Heero said, pointing to the chest by the bed, then turned back to the fire where a piece of meat was hissing, roasting over the flames.

Duo nodded, pulled his leather boots out of the bundle, then tied the flaps back together. He went to the bed, opened the chest and shoved the clothes in next to Heero´s. Closing the lid, he went to sit on the bed.

Now concentrating fully on the letter, he took it carefully in his hand and climbed onto the bed. Shinigami jumped on the bed too and settled down next to Duo, resting his muzzle on the lifebearer´s leg. Duo petted the black head, then broke the seal slowly. He opened it and had to smile, seeing the scratch Solo called writing. It wasn´t anywhere near having a real talk with his brother, but it was probably the closest he would ever get to him in the future.

With a deep sigh and an ache growing in his heart, he began reading.

*-*-*-*-*-*

"What are you doing?" Duo asked, sitting down in the chair opposite Heero. While reading his letter, that now sat on the pillow, he noticed the Enforcer open a door in the floor next to the fireplace, a door he didn´t notice before, and pull out something heavy. It made Duo curious.

The Enforcer, who had been totally engrossed in his work, twitched and his head shot up to look at Duo. "I´m oiling the traps," he answered, lowering his eyes again and smearing another clump of fat on the rusty hinge of the metal trap. "Did you finish Solo´s letter?" he asked, seeing that Duo had settled down and propped his head on his hands comfortably, watching the Enforcer´s work intently.

Duo smiled sadly. "Yeah," he sighed, then perked up again suddenly. "Did you know that Solo was courting Sal from the neighbouring village? Sal is a healer, kinda older than Solo. He had been claimed in the past, but his mate died two winters ago. Solo had been pursuing him since then. Looks like Sal finally decided to give in. Solo wrote that they will have their claiming ceremony in the Spring." Duo sounded genuinely happy for his brother, and he was happy for him too, but he felt very sad that he will miss his brother´s big day.

Heero nodded, not raising his eyes from his work. "I know Sal. Had to deal with him in the past. He is a good healer and a strong lifebearer. He will gift your brother with many children."

Duo sighed heavily. The idea of children was still very painful for him, bringing a dull ache into his heart. Trowa told him that he wasn´t sure if Duo would ever be able to have more children. He would have to wait to see if the bleeding came. And if not... That would be a clear answer to that question. It was funny. The regular bleeding was a period of the month he usually hated with a vengeance, and now he was waiting for it and praying for it to come, no matter how painful it would be.

To tear his thoughts away from these depressing thoughts, Duo asked, his curiosity piqued: "How does it work?"

Heero looked up. "What?"

Duo pointed at the quite heavy looking mechanism. "That."

The Enforcer wiped his greasy hands into the piece of cloth. "You have to pull the jaws apart like this." He gripped the two jagged half circles and using all his strength, he pulled them apart, until it clicked and they stayed open, forming a circle with a small, full circle in the middle. "Then it´s ready," he said, laying the trap in the middle of the table.

Duo frowned. "Looks kinda heavy. Can I try it?"

"No," Heero said, shaking his head. "It´s dangerous. You have to be really careful and not let the jaws close again while you are holding them, because you could hurt yourself."

Remembering how the muscles on Heero´s arms bulged when he set the trap, Duo decided it was better not to argue. "And what happens then?" he asked. He was genuinely curious about what Heero did when he went out.

"I have to set it down on a path the animals travel often and cover it with fallen leaves." He bent down and retrieved an arrow he had to throw away for it wasn´t straight enough to fly properly. "And when they step on this circle," he touched the right place with the tip of the arrow and the jaws snapped together with a loud crack, "they get caught." He looked up at Duo right in time to see him shiver, his eyes going wide.

"That must hurt a lot," the lifebearer mumbled under his breath.

"Yes, it does," Heero agreed. "It bites through the skin and muscles right to the bone, which it usually breaks if not crushes. It´s really painful. Even people can´t get out of the trap without help." The Enforcer looked Duo directly in the eyes. "That´s why I want you to be really careful. I don´t want you going out in the forest without me, okay? You could easily overlook this trap and I´m the only one who knows exactly where all the traps are set."

Duo nodded. "I won´t go out without you," he said.

"I want you to promise me, that you won´t go into the forest alone. Promise me!" Heero demanded.

"I... I promise," Duo timidly answered Heero´s request, hearing the urgency in the Enforcer voice.

The next couple of minutes they sat quietly, Heero repairing the traps and Duo watching him work. Finally, the lifebearer couldn´t sit quietly any longer and so he asked hesitantly: "What are these traps for? For what animal I mean."

"They are for a wolf," Heero answered curtly.

"A wolf? You mean for one in particular?" Duo asked again, his curiosity peeked again.

"Yes, for one in particular," the Enforcer said, his voice grim, just like the expression on his face.

When Heero didn´t elaborate, the lifebearer came up with another question. "And what´s so special about this one wolf?"

The Enforcer´s movements stopped. "He´s a killer. A beast that kills, and not just because it´s hungry."

Duo frowned. "I didn't think that animals had those urges. The teacher in our village said that animals kill only when they are hungry."

Heero resumed his work, still not looking at Duo. "Not this one."

"You've... met him before," the lifebearer guessed quietly.

It looked as if the Enforcer wouldn´t answer this particular question, for his shoulders tensed, his movements stopping again, and the expression on his face hardened. But then, after a long while when Duo didn´t push further, the muscles in his body relaxed again, one after the other.

His eyes on the metal trap, Heero said softly: "Yes, I saw him before. It was a long time ago, though."

Feeling the need to find out more about the man who claimed him, and sensing that Heero wasn´t as closed off tonight as he usually was, Duo continued. "What happened?"

"He attacked a person I held dear. I couldn´t let him kill that person," the Enforcer said, his voice determined.

"Is that where the scars on your back came from?" Seeing Heero freeze again, Duo added hurriedly: "I saw them when you were changing. They are kind of... hard... to overlook." The lifebearer swallowed, remembering the deep scratches that ran down Heero´s back, from his right shoulder to his left hip. They were completely healed now, but they still looked really bad. He couldn´t even imagine what they looked like when they were fresh.

Heero looked Duo in the eyes searchingly, for a long moment. Obviously not finding what he had been looking for, he sighed heavily and looked down at the jagged jaws. "Yes. He caused them."

The lifebearer followed Heero´s gaze with his own. The sharp teeth made him shiver. "He´s really big, huh?"

The Enforcer nodded gravely. "Yes. I´ve never seen a beast that big in my life. He is old, really old, but still extremely strong. He is even killing his own kind." Heero raised his head and looked Duo directly in the eyes. "That beast is mad, Duo, but also highly intelligent. The wolf isn´t right in his head. He isn´t scared of humans and he gets bolder and bolder with each year. Today I found his tracks by the path leading to the village. That´s why I don´t want you out there. Should he attack, not even Shinigami would be able to stop him. Do you understand how grave the situation is?"

Duo nodded seriously. "Yes, I do. And I swear that I won´t go out in the woods."

The Enforcer held Duo´s gaze for a moment longer, then nodded, satisfied with Duo understanding where he stood.

"So, can I help you somehow?" the lifebearer offered, looking at the pile of arrows on the ground next to Heero´s chair. When the Enforcer looked at him with doubt in his eyes, Duo frowned. "I can help you. Maybe I don´t know much about these things," he waved his hand at the weapons, "but I´m a fast learner. Show me what to do and I will help."

"Okay," Heero gave in. He then bent down and retrieved one of the arrows. "You have to take this feather," he lifted the grey feather from the pile on the table, "and put it here," he shoved the feather firmly into one of the slits at the end. "It has to sit firmly though, otherwise the arrow won´t fly straight. Understand?"

Duo, who moved closer to see what Heero was doing, nodded. "I understand." He took the arrow Heero was handing him and tried it. The first try wasn´t sitting right, the second was better. Finally on the third try, Heero nodded with satisfaction and Duo beamed at him. Actually it wasn´t so hard.

"Good, just lay them in a pile and I will do the rest," the Enforcer said, setting the metal traps aside to make room.

The rest of the evening was spent in companiable cooperation.

*-*-*-*-*-*

"You don´t have to sleep on the floor," Duo said, seeing Heero unravel his blanket by the fire once again. When the Enforcer looked at him, Duo unsuccesfully tried not to blush. "You can sleep in the bed with me, you know? It´s big enough for both of us."

"Are you sure?" Heero asked gently, not wanting to put pressure on the lifebearer. "I don´t mind sleeping here."

The lifebearer shook his head, trying to fight his blush. "It must be uncomfortable on the floor and I don´t mind us... you know... sleeping here... together... in one bed, that is," Duo stammered, his blush deepening even more.

The Enforcer watched the squirming lifebearer a moment longer. Even though Duo´s cheeks were flushed, he really did seem to mean it. "Allright, if you really don´t mind..."

"I don´t," the longhaired boy reassured him again.

"Then it´s settled." Heero bent down and retrieved the warm blanket and his pillow, then walked over to the bed and set it all down.

They washed quickly in the warm water in the bucket by the fireplace and changed into their usual sleep attire - a long smock for Duo and a sleeveless shirt and short pants for Heero. The Enforcer then added a couple more pieces of wood on the fire, while Duo already slipped under the covers. With the additional blanket, it was much warmer now.

Lying stiff in the bed, heart beating wildly, eyes closed tightly, Duo waited for Heero to come to bed.

When Heero lifted the covers and slipped under them, Duo lay perfectly still, his body taut as a bow string. His eyes were locked on the dark ceiling, his hands clenched in fists, and he was barely breathing.

"Look, Duo, if this makes you uncomfortable, I have no problems with sleeping by the fire," Heero said quietly after a while. He could feel the tense body next to him and he suspected that the longhaired young man was ready to snap.

Finally Duo let out a long sigh. "No... no, it´s okay. I´m just not used to... you know... sharing a bed with anybody," he explained. "When we were kids, Solo and I slept in the same bed, but that was years ago. And this," he waved his hand a little, "is quite... new for me."

Heero turned his head on the pillow and looked at the lifebearer´s profile in the orange glow of the fire. "If it makes you feel better, I´m not used to sleeping with anybody either. Well, maybe except for Shinigami."

Duo let out a bark of laughter, the tension between them easing. "Yeah, he is quite the cuddly type," he agreed. He then turned his head to the right and the breath caught in his throat again, seeing Heero lying so close, watching him intently.

"You don´t have to be afraid," Heero said softly.

Duo swallowed. "I´m... I´m not," he stammered, blushing deeply. Quickly, he turned his head and resumed his ceiling watching exercise.

"I´ll never hurt you. I swear. And I will wait as long as you need," the Enforcer reassured him, taking one of Duo´s cold hands in his.

The lifebearer swallowed again, squeezing the warm hand. His heart was beating wildly. Did that mean that Heero wanted him? Wanted him... like that? He blushed again and felt a shiver run up and down his spine. Wufei had been his first and he never thought past that.

That thought brought Duo´s mind to a screeching halt. Wufei...

"Heero?" the lifebearer whispered shyly, not looking at the Enforcer lying next to him, their thighs touching.

"Hm?" Heero answered on the verge of sleep.

"Wufei was here today," Duo said, falling silent with the last word.

The Enforcer´s eyes snapped open, and he felt his body freeze with expectation. He had heard a part of the argument but... "Yes?"

Duo swallowed and nodded, then turned his head toward Heero. "Yeah, I sent him away and told him not to come back ever again." When the Enforcer kept his eyes glued to the ceiling, he continued, a desperate tone entering his voice: "I meant it. I don´t want to be with him."

Heero kept silent. Even though Duo didn´t want to be with Wufei, it didn´t mean that he wanted to be with him. "That´s good. For you, I mean. He was no good for you."

Duo blinked. "Really?" he asked, a little uncertain.

This time Heero did turn to his companion and looked at him directly, an earnest expression in his eyes. "No, he isn´t."

The lifebearer blinked again, a little flustered. "Okay," he said, then returned his gaze back to the ceiling.

Heero was almost asleep, when the voice came again. "Heero, are you asleep?"

"Hn," he answered, letting Duo decide what the answer probably meant.

"Solo wrote about the burned out hut of the village´s Healer," Duo said a little nervous. "Were you... did you... did you do it?" he asked finally, his voice soft.

The Enforcer kept his eyes closed, although fully awake once again. "Where would I get the time for that?" he said, his voice completely neutral.

"Oh, right. I guess," Duo replied, his voice trailing off.

The hut fell silent, the cracking of wood in the fireplace the only sound loud enough to be heard. Shinigami was lying by the fire, his eyes blissfully closed in the heat of the fireplace.

"Can I ask you something?" Duo whispered, not wanting to wake Heero if he was truly asleep this time.

The Enforcer sighed heavily and turned on his side, facing Duo, one arm bent under his head. "Yes, you can."

Duo turned on his side too, mirroring Heero´s position. "The door, by the fireplace... the one in the floor, where does it lead?"

The Enforcer blinked, unable to follow the jumps Duo´s thoughts kept making. "Nowhere," Heero answered finally, watching how the orange glow from the fireplace made the shadows dance on Duo´s face. "It´s just a hole in the ground. I keep meat and other food in there during the summer. It´s cold in there, so the food doesn´t go bad as quickly as it would otherwise. It´s a good storage place too."

Duo nodded and fell silent again. "Can... can I ask you something else?" he said after a minute or so, nervously licking his lips.

"No, you can´t," Heero answered.

Duo blinked, surprised and a little hurt. "Huh?"

The Enforcer took Duo´s hand in his again and squeezed it tightly. "You don´t have to be nervous, Duo. I swear." He waited for Duo to give him a little nod. "Now shut up and go to sleep. I have to get up early," Heero ordered, the gentleness easing the edge of his words.

Duo watched Heero fall asleep, the grip the Enforcer had on his hand slackening. The lifebearer smiled, snuggling down in the covers, the caloused hand still in his. It felt like home.

*-*-*-*-*

In the middle of the night, something woke Heero up. He didn´t know what roused him from his sleep at first, but then he felt it again. There was something on his nose, tickling, giving him the urge to sneeze. He tried to swat it away, when he realized that something heavy and very warm rested on his chest.

His eyes snapped open and he looked down at the chestnut head, lying peacefully on his shoulder. Some strands escaped the loose braid and were now the cause of his itchy nose. Heero tried to disentangle himself gently from the sleeping lifebearer, had to give it up soon though. The lifebearer had one arm thrown over Heero´s chest and one leg resting on the Enforcer´s thighs. It felt like being surrounded by a warm and soft cocoon. Heero sighed
and gave up, he stopped pretending he minded. Instead of pushing the lifebearer away, the Enforcer laid one arm around the slender shoulders, bringing Duo even closer. Hearing Duo hum a little in satisfaction, and feeling him rub his cheek against his chest, he smiled a little. It felt like home.

===

11

Duo´s life changed considerably over the next couple of weeks. Not being bedridden anymore, he participated more in the life in and around the hut. He learned how to cook with the barest minimum, how to skin the dead wolves Heero brought home now and then, how to make arrows and keep the weapons clean and other things that opened a whole new world to him.

Up until now he had always been the son of the chieftain, always in plain sight to be observed and judged by the other villagers. For the first time in his life though, he now had his own household away from prying eyes, a mate he cared for deeply and even a dog. Not being able to mop for too long, Duo threw himself in his new duties with enthusiasm and tried to make the best of it.

He didn´t forget his dead child though. Heero showed him the place where Trowa buried the small fetus. It was right behind the house, under a big oak tree. Duo couldn´t have found a better place for his child to rest. Often when he felt lonely, despite his fervor and the happy face he gave, he went to visit the small grave and he talked to his child. He had done the same thing with his da when he died many years ago. Sitting by the grave, plucking the leaves away, just made him feel kind of closer to his next of kin, who weren´t there anymore.

His relationship with Heero didn´t change much though. Not from the lack of wanting on both sides, though. But Heero was aware of how vulnerable Duo still was, that he was still getting settled in his new life. And even though Duo wanted something more, even if it should be just a little kiss, he didn´t feel confident enough to take their relationship a step further. And so they decided to wait and move forward in baby steps. Waking up in each other's arms slowly became a normal thing, a thing both of them craved, for they welcomed a human touch, the warmth of it - Duo, as a lifebearer, felt a natural need for being close to others, to touch and be touched; and Heero... since there hadn´t been much human kindness in his life ever since his father died, he basked in the attention someone was giving him and only him. He wouldn´t admit it though of course, being such a strong and hard Enforcer. Heero´s outward indifference made Duo smile. He didn´t fear the Enforcer. He hadn´t feared him before either, but now that he knew what a caring and good hearted person he was, Duo felt more at ease in his company.

There was only one thing that kept intruding on Duo´s peaceful state of mind. And that was the question of if he would ever be able to have children again. It had been over a month since he lost his child, and his monthly bleeding still didn´t come. Every time Trowa visited them, he assured Duo that the lifebearer just had to be patient, that his body went through a great deal of stress from which it must recover first. But the lifebearer couldn´t help but get more and more depressed with each passing day when there was no change. He knew what it meant when the bleeding didn´t come. No bleeding meant no children. He didn´t know if Heero even wanted a family, but Duo always wanted a big family with a lot of children, laughter and happiness. He hoped that it could become Heero´s dream too. But now, it was more and more likely that this was just another dream that wouldn´t come true for Duo.

And as the days passed, the depression turned into crankiness. Duo´s short temper flared up more often too and even though Heero did his best to be patient and understanding, it was obvious that it was grating on his nerves too.

And then the autumn turned into winter and the first snow fall became a heavy cover of sparkling white.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"I´ll be going now," Heero said, throwing a bow over his shoulder.

Duo, bent over the cooking pot, just waved him off with a "whatever" gesture. His crankiness seemed to reach its highest point that day, making Duo edgy and nervous, snapping at everything and everybody.

Heero sighed and started for the door. Seeing Shinigami pad after him, he reached out and patted the black head. "You´re staying here," the Enforcer told the dog. Shinigami looked at the closed door and whined almost silently. When his Master didn´t budge, he sighed and went back to lie down by the bed again.

"Why don´t you take him with you?" asked Duo after witnessing the whole scene. He straightened and placed his hands on his hips. In his left hand, he still held a large spoon he used to stir the meat, from which the spicy smelling sauce kept dripping to the floor unnoticed.

"You know why, Duo," Heero said, one hand on the handle of the wooden door. "He stays here to protect you."

The lifebearer frowned. "Shaggy is a hunting dog. He can´t stay in all the time and just watch the dust settle. And I´m not stupid to go out wandering through the woods." Suddenly he scowled at Heero. "Do you think I´m stupid?" he asked, suspiciously narrowing his eyes.

Sensing another argument hanging in the air, Heero raised his hands in surrender. "No, of course not." He looked at the dog, then back at Duo. Sighing again, he decided to give in. "Okay, Duo. I´ll take him with me. But you have to promise me that you won´t-"

"Yeah, yeah. I won´t go out in the woods. No forest without you accompanying me, for there is a big bad wolf waiting to munch on me." Duo waved the spoon around, splashing the sauce in every direction.

Heero´s eyes narrowed. "I mean it, Duo. This is not a joke. Just because I didn´t find the beast´s paw prints anywhere near the hut these last couple of days, doesn´t mean that the danger is over."

The Enforcer´s voice was hard and cold as steel.

Duo sighed and looked away. "I know that, Heero," he said quietly. "I don´t take it lightly. As I said, I´m not an idiot."

Heero watched him a moment longer, then turned around and opened the door. "Come on, boy," he called the dog, clapping his hand against his thigh.

Shinigami raised his head from his paws, his ears standing straight. Hearing Heero call his name again, he jumped to his feet and dashed out of the hut, happy to be outside again.

Duo watched Heero close the door, then listened to the footsteps crunch in the fresh snow. He leaned his forehead against the wooden ledge of the fireplace and sighed deeply. He knew he was being unreasonable and rude and overall not the best companion, but he couldn´t help it. A strange, unsettling feeling overcame him these last couple of days and he couldn´t shake that feeling off no matter what he did. Not even his talks with his child helped anymore. He felt edgy and nervous, and he ached all over and he felt hot and he felt like crying and... he was mad as hell at everybody and since Heero was the only other person nearby, the Enforcer became the target of Duo´s bad moods. He was in a really uncomfortable state of mind and it went so far that he really thought about asking Trowa what was wrong with him.

Duo took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an attempt to calm down his frayed nerves. That was when he smelled it. His eyes shot open and he bent down to the cooking pot quickly. Deep grey smoke was rising out of the pot. The sauce had cooked out, and even the meat was more similar to a black piece of coal than any food they might eat that evening.

Cursing loudly, Duo quickly caught the handle of the pot, to take it away from the fire. He screamed as the hot metal burnt his palm. Suddenly overcome with rage, he kicked the pot so hard that the black kettle flew of the hook and out of the fireplace, only to land by the bed.

Breathing deeply, the lifebearer watched the mess he had made, clutching his hand to his chest. And then it was too much. Everything was simply too much for him. He sank to his knees, his head half way to the ground, and started to sob. With his tears, he tried to cleanse his soul of the frustration and anguish, that accumulated deep inside him.

He didn´t know how long he was crouched there on the cold floor, but when the tears finally subsided, his knees hurt and legs were cramping. And his leggings were wet, making the cloth cling to his skin. It made him shiver.

Gods, I´m pathetic, he thought to himself.

He rubbed his cheeks with his right hand, drying the tears with his sleeve. Through his red, swollen eyes he looked at his burned left hand. He sighed out in relief. It wasn´t that bad, there weren´t even blisters, the skin looked only a little red. He should really be more careful. The last thing he needed was to become more of a burden to Heero.

Propping himself on the desk of the table, he scrambled to his feet, his joints popping in the process. He looked around, taking in the disarray he caused. He should take care of that and start a new meal for dinner. Heero will be hungry when he comes back.

As he moved across the room and picked up the blackened pot, he felt the wet leggings cling to his naked skin. He needed to change into something dry, but first he would pour water on the burned remains of their dinner. If it dried like that, he would never get the rest off. So he set the pot by the fire, picked up the wooden bucket and poured the rest of the water into the bad smelling kettle. Satisfied, he set the empty bucket down and moved to the chest to change. He should better hurry up, since he had a lot of work to do.

But when he unlaced his leggings and pushed them down his legs, he froze, the breath catching in his throat. The soft grey pants were blackened with dark crimson red. Biting his lower lip, not daring to hope, he reached down and ran his hand over his buttocks. It came back stained with blood.

The lifebearer blinked a couple of times, then started to laugh. He laughed so hard that his knees buckled and he almost fell. Blood. He was bleeding. That meant... He still could have a family. Children of his own. He laughed and laughed, tears running down his face again, but this time it was the tears of joy, not of sadness. Everything made sense now. His crankiness, the strange aching feeling centering in his lower back, everything. He had never been so happy to get his monthly bleeding. Never before. Duo´s bright eyes closed. He couldn´t wait to tell Heero.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

A couple of minutes later, dressed in dry pants, he sighed out happily and hugged himself. He had the feeling, as if he could dance around the room. With every move, he felt the soft padding against the back of his pants. He grinned, remembering how he found the padding, every lifebearer learned to make with the first bleeding, in the bundle his brother sent him. He could imagine how embarassed Solo must have been while packing such an intimate thing for him. Poor Solo. Duo grinned again. His older brother had always been embarassed by the small things surrounding the mystery of every lifebearer. He didn´t feel at all sorry for his brother.

Giving out another happy sigh, Duo bent down and picked the stained pants. Looking at the slowly drying blood, he frowned. If he didn´t wash it soon, he would never get the stains out of the fabric. And these were his favourite pants.

He looked at the empty bucket by the fire and an idea formed in his head. No, he promised Heero not to go into the woods, he chastised himself. Well, the stream is actually not in the woods, a silent voice in the back of his mind reminded him. Yeah, the stream was bubbling just a couple of steps from the hut. If he hurried up, he would be back really quickly. And besides, he would need the water to make dinner anyway.

Duo hesitated a moment longer, fighting with himself, then just gave in. He hung the pants over the back of one of the chairs, then crossed the room and picked up the bucket. When he stopped by the door, he took a deep breath and cracked it open the smallest bit.

Looking out, he carefully scanned the clearing around the house. Heero´s and Shinigami´s footprints were the only ones in sight. He opened the door a little more and slipped out, leaving the door open behind himself.

The cold hit him like a slap in the face. White puffs of steam came from his nose as he quickly started for the stream nearby. The fresh snow was crunching under his feet and he didn´t even realize that the sound of his feet burrowing into the deep snow, was the only sound to be heard in the otherwise completely silent forest.

His eyes still scanning his surroundings, he crouched by the ice cold stream. He looked down at the running water, searching for the deepest spot to fill the pail. Bending low, he let the bucket sink into the sloshing current. The water splashed around as the bucket hit the water and Duo shuddered, feeling the droplets hit his skin. He should have taken a coat, or at least Heero´s woolen vest. His wet hands were freezing and so he was really happy when the bucket was finally full. The prospect of returning back into the warm hut, made him quiver with impatience to be inside already.

Duo straightened, holding the heavy bucket in both of his hands, then lifted his head and...

... froze. There, just across the stream, the largest wolf he had ever seen was standing, his teeth bared in a silent snarl.

===

12

Heero crouched by the spot where he positioned one of his traps a week ago. He cleared the snow from the metal jaws, and finding everything in order, he frowned. It was weird. He hadn´t seen any wolves around the woods for days now. It was as if they disappeared. He suspected that it was the fault of the Old One, as he deemed the killer wolf. The pack just moved farther to avoid the danger the Old One posed.

Still frowning, Heero covered the trap with snow again, then stood up. He would really have to find the Old One soon. It was sheer luck that the wolf hadn´t yet killed anyone from the village.

When the first snowflakes started to fall, Heero looked up at the sky. Through the bare crown of trees he could see the steel grey sky, the clouds hanging low. It didn´t look good. The wind hadn´t started yet, but everything hinted at a big snowstorm. He should head back home, since he didn´t want Duo to worry too much.

The Enforcer turned around to call Shinigami, when he saw the dog freeze in mid-step, ears pointed. Shinigami listened intently, sniffing at the air. Suddenly, the hound bared his teeth in a vicious snarl and bolted in the direction they came from.

"Shinigami!" Heero called, starting after him. The Enforcer felt a cold sweat run down his back when he realized where the dog was heading. He was running home and that could mean only one thing.

Duo was in danger.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Duo swallowed painfully. The beast was huge. He had never seen a wolf that big. He was all silver, only one thin scar showing through his thick fur - it ran across his throat, almost from one ear to the other. It looked like an old knife wound. The wolf crouched lower, lips pulled back, teeth bared. He was snarling at him, but no sound left his mouth. Besides the huffing breathing, he was completely silent. It sent shivers down Duo´s spine.

Slowly, oh so slowly the lifebearer backed up a step, then another one, hands firmly clenched around the handle of the full bucket. Maybe if he moved really slow and carefully, he could reach the hut before the wolf attacked.

But then the wolf´s body tensed, muscles taut. The breath caught in Duo´s throat.

The beast lunged forward, snow flying after him. Duo took a quick step backwards, his foot slipping on the frozen ground. With a silent thump he hit the ground, the bucket tumbling from his hands, spilling water everywhere. The lifebearer´s body was buried deeply in the snow. Eyes wide open, Duo saw the wolf miss his jump, his body flying over the narrow stream and Duo´s fallen body. If he hadn´t slipped...

Duo scrambled to his feet, snow caked to his clothes. Looking up from his half crouch, he saw the beast land on all fours and turn back to face him. What now? What now? The wolf stood between him and the only safe haven he had. If only he had something to protect himself with...

Duo didn´t look away from the snarling beast, as his hand searched blindly for something he could use as a weapon. The wolf moved slightly to the left and Duo mirrored his turn. He couldn´t afford to lose sight of the beast.

It started to snow, the flakes falling gently to the ground. Everything was silent, but even if there would´ve been some sound, Duo wouldn´t have been able to hear it over the roar in his ears. Tears stung his eyes, a litany of ´pleasepleaseplease...´ running in his head. He had been so stupid, so incredibly, incredibly stupid!

When the wolf charged again, Duo threw himself to the side, gripping the empty bucket in mid-roll. Getting back to his feet, from the corner of his eyes he saw the beast turn and move quickly in his direction again. He didn´t think about his reaction. He just snapped around, the bucket flying through the air in his outstretched hand. The blow struck the wolf´s head, sending him flying further to the left, in the direction of the stream.

Duo almost cried out at the pain that shot up his arm and settled in his shoulder. He dropped the broken bucket in the snow and didn´t even stop to look at what happened to the wolf. He ran as fast as he could to the hut, hearing the wolf running after him again. He flew inside through the open door, turned around and slammed it shut, pushing the bar in place quickly.

He backed away from the door in fearful anticipation. When he had turned around to close the door, he had seen the enraged look in one of the beast´s eyes, while the other was torn from the blow, his muzzle stained with blood. The wolf wanted to kill him and Duo feared that the beast wouldn´t give up so easily.

Hearing the impact of something heavy against the door, Duo cried out, his trembling hands flying to his mouth. Another blow and another. The wolf was trying to get in. In horror, Duo watched as the hard wood of the door shook, the bar keeping the door shut cracking just a little in the middle.

Oh gods, what should he do? Duo looked around franticaly, searching for a way out of his peril. He moved further away from the shaking door, pleading for every deity to help him.

As he backed away again, the floor thumped hollowly under his foot. He looked down and his eyes lit up.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Heero could hear Shinigami´s howl clearly in the silent winter woods. He ran as fast as he could, the snowfall that turned from light to heavy obscuring his view. He threw away his warm gloves, letting them sink into the puffy snow, then pulled the knives out of his belt, one in each hand. He followed Shinigami´s prints, taking the shortest way back to his home.

When he finally reached the clearing where his hut stood, he jumped over the stream and stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widening. He took in the broken bucket, stained with blood, the broken, splintered door leading into the hut. He could hear Shinigami and the Old One fighting inside, the dog´s snarling and growling, things crashing to the floor. But Duo...

Duo was nowhere in sight.

The Enforcer crouched lower, preparing himself to fight, as the Old One shot out of the hut, Shinigami at his heels. Both the wolf and the dog were bloodied, insane rage in their eyes as they circled each other, their heads low to the ground. Their lips were pulled back, teeth bared.

Then they both leaped forward, clashing together. The bigger wolf caught Shinigami by the scruff, flinging him to the side. The dog slid over the snow, hitting the foot of the big oak tree, standing by the hut. Immediatelly he scrambled to his feet again, was looking dazed though.

The instant the two animals separated, Heero threw his knife with all his might. The weapon found its target, catching the wolf in the side in the same moment when the beast leaped forward again. It looked as if the animal broke in half in the air, before falling to the ground, snow flying in every direction, obscuring the view for a moment.

The Enforcer threw himself to the side, as suddenly the silver beast burst through the white cloud. The wolf landed heavily, but snapped around quickly. The knife wound in his side didn´t seem to slow him down in the least. Heero rolled, coming back to his feet, the knife in his hand ready. He turned around just in time to see the Old One charge forward with all his strength. This time Heero didn´t move, the knife in his hand changing it´s position, so that the point laid now almost by his elbow. And when the wolf flung itself on him, Heero crouched, his right arm flashing upwards and from right to left, cutting through the thick fur.

All movement seemed to slow down as the jaws snapped closed just millimeters from Heero´s face. The one visible enraged eye met the Enforcer´s cold look. Blood burst from the beast´s neck, where the sharp knife cut through the layers of fur and skin, a new wound appearing just hair width from the old scar.

The wolf tumbled to the ground, blood seeping through his tightly clenched teeth. The Old One got back to his feet again, barely standing, but the rage in his eyes didn´t diminish.

"Get back, Shinigami!" Heero snapped at the dog that started forward to finish his job, without taking his eyes away from the wolf. Shinigami stopped, visibly torn between his instinct and his need to obey an order. He settled for growling quietly.

Heero backed up a couple of feet and reversed the position of his knife again, gripping the handle which was slick with blood tightly in his right hand. "This is something I should have done years ago," he whispered to himself.

Then the man and the wolf charged forward. Both hit their target and crashed to the ground, raising a cloud of white puffy snow. When the white curtain finally settled down, Heero was lying on the ground, face and arms marred with claw marks, but his knife was buried deep in the wolf´s chest. The animal was covering him partially, pressing his body deep into the snow and staining the white cover with dark red blood. It was over.

Heero lay there for a moment, looking up at the steel grey sky. The snowflakes were settling down on his face. He was breathing hard and his head ached. Finally, he clenched his teeth and pushed the cooling carcass to the side. Suddenly, he felt exhausted. Sitting up, he closed his eyes, feeling a little dizzy for a moment. He reached with his right hand and touched the back of his head, where the pain that throbbed through his head centered. The fingers came back covered with blood. He didn´t even realize he hit his head in the fall.

Suddenly, Shinigami´s desperate barking tore through the buzz in his ears. He turned around in the direction the bark came from and his eyes went wide. Dark grey and black smoke was rising to the sky, filling the air with an acrid smell. The hut was on fire.

Duo!

-*-*-*-*-*-

Duo tried to lift the door but couldn´t. He had slipped into the hole Heero used as a storage cellar, to get away from the wolf, but now the door seemed stuck. He pushed against it with all his strength, but it didn´t budge. The hole wasn´t even big enough for him to stretch out. It was only hip deep, thus giving him no room to brace himself and apply more pressure against the door. He started to hammer against it with his fists. His hands were bleeding from the impact on the rough wood.

He tried to cry Heero´s name, but every noise he made simply vanished in the snapping and sizzling hum of the fire that was raging above him. Something must have happened. He had heard Shinigami´s fight with the wolf, which meant that Heero couldn´t be far behind. But he hadn´t heard him. He heard nothing. Did the wolf hurt Heero? Was Heero lying in the snow now, dying? Was he already dead?

Duo cried out Heero´s name again, his voice full of desperation. The smoke filling the hole was burning his throat, causing him to cough violently, his lungs spasming.

Giving the stuck door one last push, Duo curled up on his side, hugging himself. He coughed again, tears streaming down his face. He didn´t know if they were tears of desparation or if it was only the smoke burning his eyes. It didn´t matter. It was all his fault anyway. Everything in his damned life was his fault.

The lifebearer coughed again, his whole body shaking. He was growing dizzy and his head hurt. Desperately he clung to consciousness, for if he fainted, everything would be over. He would never wake up again.

Heero...

The darkness spun behind his eyelids, and he remembered another wolf, lost memories surfacing again…

"What are you doing here?!" asked the twelve year old Heero, his brows drawn together, as he plopped down on the river bank next to Duo and tucked his warm jacket closer to his body. It was autumn already, nature was a palette of colors, but even though the sun was shining, the wind was much too cold already.

The young lifebearer quickly wiped the tears from his face. He didn´t want Heero to see him crying. But the quivering lower lip gave him away.

"Are you crying?" Heero´s voice was full of concern. "Did something happen?"

Duo sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve, and hugged his legs to his chest. He hid his face in his knees and didn´t answer.

"Duo? Please tell me what´s wrong?" Heero asked again, laying a gentle hand on Duo´s shoulder. "You can tell me anything, you know that," he whispered, moving closer to the distressed lifebearer.

"´m bleedin'," Duo mumbled.

"What did you say?" Heero asked, bending his head closer.

The lifebearer lifted his head and looked at the other boy with red, swollen eyes. "I'm bleeding."

Heero straightened in alarm. "Where? Is it bad? Should I call the healer?" He touched his back, then his arms, looking for an injury.

Duo´s cheeks colored. "I´m bleeding from... you know... there."

Heero looked at him in confusion, before his eyes widened in understanding. His cheeks colored a little bit too, but he smiled at Duo in reassurance, squeezing his arm. "It´s normal, Duo. Your father must´ve told you..."

The lifebearer shook his head sadly. "It´s much too soon! I´m just eleven. There must be something really wrong with me," he whispered, more tears appearing in his eyes.

"Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you," Heero said reassuringly, his voice soft. "You´re just an early bloomer, that´s all," he smiled and petted Duo´s shining hair.

Duo frowned. "An early what? What does..." His head turned to look at the other boy, but the words froze on his lips as his eyes moved behind Heero´s sitting figure in time to see a large wolf step out of the bush. The beast was crouching low, lips curled in a snarl. "He-ero..." Duo stuttered, his cheeks paling in horror.

Alarmed by Duo´s terrified look, Heero´s head snapped around. Seeing the beast coming closer, ready to attack them, he jumped to his feet. He pulled the young lifebearer to his feet too and tucked him behind himself. He then unsheated a long hunting knife that was attached to his belt and faced the beast, ready to protect his friend.

"Heero, what´ll we do?" Duo asked quietly, clearly frightened.

"Don´t worry," Heero whispered back, not taking his eyes away from the wolf. "I swear I will protect you!" Heero took a step back, then another one, feeling Duo moving in synch with him.

And then the wolf lunged forward. Heero pushed Duo to the side and out of harm´s way. The lifebearer stumbled on the rocky ground, his feet slipping. He lost his footing and the last thing he saw before tumbling down the riverbank was Heero, his best friend, the one he hoped to spend his life with, falling to the ground, the wolf slashing his claws down the boy´s exposed back. Then everything went dark.

A heartbeat passed, and Duo realized the darkness was different, and he was still in a cramped space, with smoke filling his lungs.

"...uo! Duo, do you hear me?"

The lifebearer groaned, then gasped for air, his lungs filling with burning smoke immediately, causing another coughing fit. Duo pressed his head against the ground as the bone jarring cough wracked his body.

He felt fuzzy. Still, he heard the faint thumping sound over his hiding place. It was as if somebody was trying to lift something heavy, but it kept slipping from his hands. He wasn´t sure if it was reality or if his imagination was playing tricks on him.

And then the door lifted and his dark hole was filled with more smoke and flashing orange light. He tried to turn his head, but he was too weak to even open his eyes. Somebody jumped down and landed next to him in the narrow space. He was being lifted out of the place he thought he would die in, then placed on the floor of the hut. The wood was hot under his cheek and it was smoking. He was being lifted again and then rapidly moved away from the orange light he could see even through his closed eyelids, from the smoke and the hot air.

The cold outside felt so good. He breathed in deeply, his lungs deprived of fresh air for too long. But he was seized with yet another coughing fit, his whole body hurting and shaking from the strain. He pressed his head into the chest of his savior as the coughing didn´t seem to end.

He was being lowered to the ground again, but instead of feeling the cold snow through his clothes, he was seated on something warm. Between coughing fits he managed to open his watering eyes and saw Heero´s face, covered in blood and soot. The Enforcer was kneeling on the snow covered ground, his back to the raging fire, Duo resting on his thighs.

Their eyes met and held each other as Heero lifted his bloodied hand and caressed Duo´s cheeks, his mouth, his eyebrows, his nose, as if trying to memorize every feature of the elfin face. "I thought I´d lost you again," Heero whispered, his voice surprisingly gentle. "I couldn´t take losing you again." He brought the lifebearer to his chest, hugging him tightly.

Again? Losing me again? Duo wondered as he hugged Heero back just as fiercely.

And then he remembered the dream he seemed to have had. "It was me, wasn´t it?" he asked softly. "Back there, on the riverbank. It was me whom you protected from the wolf the first time, wasn´t it?"

Heero froze for a moment, then relaxed his grip and let Duo lean back just a little, so that he could look him in the eyes. There was so much wonder in the Enforcer´s look. "You remember?" he said hesitantly, as if not believing his ears and when the lifebearer nodded, eyes shining, Heero enclosed him in his arms again, as if not wanting to let him go ever again. "When you fell down, I thought you were dead and I thought nothing could ever hurt so much, not even the wounds the wolf caused. But when the villagers found you on a bank down the river and you didn´t remember me..." his voice trailed off.

"I´m sorry, so sorry, so sorry," Duo repeated over and over again, tears stinging in his eyes. It wasn´t his fault that he had forgotten but he still felt as if it was somehow his doing that they lost so much time. "If I could help it, I would´ve never forgotten you. I loved you, I thought we would spend our life together. I´m sorry. I love you so much..."

"I love you too, Duo. I never stopped loving you," Heero whispered, rocking back and forth.

They didn´t know how long they sat there, snow falling heavily from the sky, covering them both in white layers, the fire eating away at their home. It was Shinigami´s bark that broke the serene scene, the dog standing nearby, watching them and wagging his tail.

Slowly, they got to their feet, not letting go of each other even for a moment, throwing little smiles at each other. Then the wolf´s carcass caught Duo´s attention.

"So, he is dead, huh?" he asked quietly, looking at the dead animal. "I´m really sorry that I went out. I was so stupid..."

"It doesn´t matter. Maybe it was a good thing. He could have attacked me when I was coming back. And if he surprised me, I wouldn´t have had any chance to stand against him at all."

Duo squeezed Heero´s hand. "I didn´t even hear him coming. He was completely silent..."

"I must have damaged his vocal cords back then," the Enforcer explained. "I didn´t even know what I was doing. I just slashed with my knife upwards, then he got me."

They stood there for a moment longer, watching the hut burn and crash together. When Duo began to shiver, Heero brought him closer, the lifebearer´s back to his chest and hugged him.

"What will we do now?" Duo asked, his voice silent and still a little cracked from the coughing.

Heero sighed and propped his chin on Duo´s shoulder. "I don´t know. We could go to the village, but they wouldn´t accept you. And I´ll never let you out of my sight again!" he said vigorously, squeezing the lifebearer tightly. "And we can´t stay here, at least not before we build everything up again."

"So... where will we go?"

"With me," came a voice from behind them.

Duo and Heero turned around, seeing a snow covered figure step out of the woods, Shinigami dancing happily around.

Trowa.

-*-*-*-*-*-

Interlude:

"But the villagers don´t have any more money!" Wufei´s voice was cold and stern as he faced the enraged Father Maxwell.

"I don´t care. I need-The village needs the money!" the Father shouted, his eyes glowing with rage.


Wufei´s eyes narrowed. Something really weird was going on, he thought as he watched the usually calm and collected chieftain pace the main room of the common house. Father Maxwell was trying to squeeze every copper coin from the villagers over the last couple of weeks. They gave him as much as they could, but now the only money they had left were the coins they saved for taxes.

"Why? Why do you need it? The taxes are not due until spring," Wufei demanded.

"That´s none of your business! I´m the chieftain here and you will obey me!" Father Maxwell screamed again in the younger man´s face.

Wufei was about to answer again, when they heard some commotion outside the house. With an annoyed "What now?" Father Maxwell crossed the room and tore open the front door. Wufei followed him in time to see the older man´s red face pale horribly, gaining a ghost-like look.

On the main path leading through the village a procession of armed men, riding their horses in groups by three, was coming closer. In the lead, an old man, dressed in brightly colored expensive clothes, was sitting on his battle horse.

The Sweepers and Master Howard.

Wufei frowned. It was unexpected to see them here in the middle of the winter. They were mercenaries, usually accompanying merchants passing through their village, serving as their paid protection. There were no merchants in sight now though, and besides, no one visited this backwater place during winter. Wufei started to get a bad feeling about the situation.

The procession stopped in front of the common house, Master Howard getting off his horse. The grey haired man strode forward towards the chieftain.

"Maxwell, my friend!" Howard laughed in false amiability, catching the other man in a bear hug.

Wufei noticed the chieftain looking scared, terrified even. The old man was shaking like a leaf and Wufei suspected that if Howard hadn´t been holding him upright, the Father would have slumped to the ground. Wufei was starting to get the nagging feeling that he should make himself scarce. The sight of the dozens of men, armed to the teeth, only fueled the feeling.

Howard pulled away, smiling at Father Maxwell. Wufei almost shivered, seeing the dangerous, wolfish smile that didn´t reach the cold, calculating eyes.

"It´s good to see you, Maxwell. I hope everything is ready," the mercenary leader said, his voice making it obvious that he didn´t tolerate failures.

"Ready?" the Chieftain asked shakily as if he didn´t understand.

"Yes, I came for the mate you promised me. Where is Duo?"

Even though Wufei felt his insides freeze in shock, he didn´t wait for the answer the Chieftain would give Howard. He started pass the two older men and headed in the direction of his cottage casually, as if nothing had happened. Inside his head though, everything was screaming at him to run. Knowing what answer Father Maxwell would give the mercenary leader, and seeing the small army waiting to fulfill every order their leader would give them... Wufei doubted it would end well.

It was time to get Meiran out of here.

===

Epilogue

When Heero pulled in breath through his tightly clenched teeth, Duo looked away, looking distinctly green. Trowa was stitching the wound on the Enforcer´s upper arm with a simple needle and a black thread. Duo really didn´t need to watch it. So he distracted himself with looking around the small hut, not so different from their own. There was a table, two chairs, one bed and the fireplace, where a fire was cracking happily. On the shelves there were no knives or other weapons like in their hut had been, though. They were full of herbs, jars with strange fluids and ointments. The hut smelled like a meadow in high summer.

"Don´t be such a wuzz," Trowa said, smirking at Heero, who glared at him with all his might. "So," the Healer continued, cutting the thread with a small, sharp knife, "you pulled Duo out of the fire and then I came, right?"

Heero nodded, his eyes fixed on the braided lifebearer. "Yes. And now our home is destroyed and we will have to find a new one quickly. We can´t live here indefinitely after all." He flexed his arm and grimaced at the pull of the stitches.

"You can stay as long as you want and you know that." The Healer started to put away the ointments and bandages he had used to take care of Heero´s wounds. "You still didn´t tell me, why you left the hut in the first place, Duo," he said, putting the things back on the shelves, his back turned to the lifebearer.

When Duo didn´t answer immediately both Heero and Trowa turned to him, their eyebrows raised in askance.

The lifebearer flushed deeply and lowered his eyes, then he muttered something under his breath.

"What did you say?" Heero asked, putting on the tunic he had borrowed Trowa.

"I went to the stream for water," Duo said a little more loudly.

The Enforcer frowned. "But there was at least half of the bucket before I left. I´ve always made sure there is enough water so that you wouldn´t need to go out."

Duo´s blush deepened. "I kind of... I had a little mishap with the dinner I was cooking." The lifebearer squirmed on the hard wood chair.

Heero nodded as if that explained everything, but Trowa, seeing Duo squirm in his seat and noticing the palor of his skin and the black circles under his eyes, narrowed his eyes. In the last couple of days, Heero came often to visit the Healer. He didn´t say much, but it was pretty obvious that Duo had been irritable and annoying and all in all not the best companion one could wish for. And so, when he put two and two together, everything clicked.

"Duo, did you get your bleeding?" Trowa asked bluntly.

The lifebearer looked as if his eyes would pop out of his head, then looked away and blushed so deeply, that Trowa feared he would catch fire.

"Duo?" Heero asked and when he didn´t get any answer, he stood up, crossed the small room and crouched in front of his mate. "Duo, look at me." When the lifebearer shook his head wildly and kept on wringing his hands nervously, Heero raised his hand and took Duo´s chin between his fingers, then he lifted the braided man´s head, so that he could look directly into the violet eyes. "Is that true?"

Duo blinked a couple of times, then nodded slightly, clearly embarrassed by the whole conversation.

Unmindful of Trowa, who started to potter around the fireplace, Heero smiled brightly, then tugged Duo down into his arms. He hugged the lifebearer tightly, whispering into his ear in a coarse voice.

"I´m so happy for you, for us."

Hearing Heero´s words, Duo exhaled in relief and hugged his mate back. He had been afraid that Heero wouldn´t want to have children. Their child would become the next Enforcer, after all. He could have understood if Heero would´ve wanted to spare his child that sort of fate.

"Hear, drink this," Trowa´s voice sounded from the fireplace.

When the two mates separated and looked over, the Healer was pouring a steaming liquid into a porcelain cup. He then returned the pot of hot water back on the place by the fire and handed the cup to Duo, stepping over Shinigami, who was sprawled on the ground by the fire. The lifebearer took it reluctantly and sniffed at it. The smell was sweet and nothing like the concoction Trowa poured into him when he lost his child.

"What is it?" Duo asked.

Trowa dusted his hands off and propped them on his hips. "Well, since you´re bleeding, you need something that will help you replace all the blood you´ve lost."

Duo frowned. "I never needed to drink anything during this time before."

"Yeah, and half of the time you felt dizzy and kept fainting any time you got up. Am I right?"

Duo nodded reluctantly.

"That´s because your Healer is a traditionalistic idiot, who is convinced that the body of a lifebearer musn´t be polluted during his time," Trowa said, rolling his eyes in disgust. "What crap! It´ll be nothing more than this brew, some tea and some cheka leaves for you the next three days, though."

Duo nodded unhappily. He knew that the lifebearers couldn´t eat any solid foods during their bleeding to minimize the risk of infection. He opened his mouth to say something when suddenly Shinigami sprang to his feet, growling silently.

Immediately Heero stood up from his crouch and gripped the knife that was lying on the table. Trowa followed his example and took a long hunting knife still in its sheath from the shelf. They both turned to the door, watching it intently.

When the impatient knock sounded through the hut, Shinigami´s growling turned into a loud bark. Trowa and Heero moved to the door. The Enforcer laid one hand on the latch while the Healer stepped to the other side of the door, so that when the door opened he would be hidden from the sight of their unexpected visitor. Trowa then pulled the knife out of the leather sheath and nodded at Heero.

"Who is there?" the Enforcer asked, his voice flat and cold.

"Heero, it´s me, Wufei. Open the door!" the villager´s voice was intense, bordering on desperation.

Heero looked at Trowa, who shrugged. The Enforcer then turned to Duo. The lifebearer´s eyes were wide open and he was gripping the cup so tightly that it threatened to shatter.

"Heero, open up. It´s important! I´ve some really bad news," the voice sounded through the thick door again. It had now more than just a hint of desperation.

"Open the door, Heero," Duo said then, his voice quiet. When he saw Heero´s eyes narrow, the lifebearer sighed. "It´s obvious that he must have been looking for us, so whatever he wants to tell us must be really important and we should at least hear him out."

Heero clenched his jaw and stared a moment longer at his mate. Then he too sighed, ordered Shinigami to get back and tore the door open. Immediately sharp, cold wind pushed inside, a veil of snow flakes tearing through the door, which melted when hit by the warmth inside.

A white clad figure stood in the doorway, covered from head to toe in snow, which helped him to blend with his surroundings. The man staggered inside.

Heero slammed the door shut and pressed the point of his knife against the man´s back. "What do you want?" he asked his voice full of hostility. "I warned you the last time."

Wufei breathed in deeply and pushed the hood off his head. He looked down at the wide eyed Duo and his features, red from the cold outside, twisted in sorrow. The lifebearer blinked, a sense of foreboding gripping his heart.

The black haired man turned slowly to face Heero. "I remember what you told me, but it doesn´t matter now," he said, his voice hollow.

Heero frowned, his weapon still pointed at the man he considered an enemy. "So, what was so important?"

Wufei sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, there was only the strength of resolve in his black irises. "You have to take Duo and get out of here. Now!" he said, his voice hard.

Heero exchanged glances with Trowa, who was now frowning too. "Why?" the Enforcer asked. "You know that as an Enforcer I can´t leave the village. My duty is to protect the people, even if I hate them with all my heart."

The black man´s lips twisted into a bitter grimace. "People? There are no people to protect anymore, Yuy!"

There was the sound of a chair scrapping against the wooden floor. Duo´s voice was trembling when he asked: "What are you saying?"

Wufei turned to the pale lifebearer. "Howard and the Sweepers came..."

Duo´s eyes lit up. "Uncle Howie?"

Seeing Duo light up at the name of the man who destroyed everything they had, he snarled: "They killed them! All of them. Every man, woman and child in the village is dead! Howard´s mercenaries slaughtered them all!" He knew was being to harsh with the lifebearer, but the sight that he encountered when he came back from Meiran´s village, where he had hidden his pregnant mate, was still burned into his mind. The whole village in flames, mercenaries beheading the rest of the men still alive. And among them, Howard, with Father Maxwell at his feet.

The porcelain mug shattered on the hard wood floor. "No... You´re lying," Duo whispered.

Wufei felt himself propelled around, a hand gripping his shoulder tightly. "What did you say?" Heero demanded, his voice hoarse. "Tell us everything from the beginning."

The black haired man swallowed painfully, but started to speak in a soft voice. "It began a couple of weeks ago. Father Maxwell was getting impatient, rude; he changed a lot after you took Duo away. He collected all the money the villagers had to give and it was still too little for him. He refused to tell any of us more. And then, today, Howard and his mercenaries came. I thought it was weird and had a bad feeling about it. Father Maxwell looked shocked; he was white as a ghost when he saw them. He said..." Wufei turned around to look at the shocked Duo. "He said he came to claim his mate he paid so well for. He came for you, Duo," he added.

The lifebearer stared at him, as if Wufei was crazy. Duo´s knees buckled and couldn´t support him anymore and so he plopped back into the chair. "No, that´s impossible... I´ve known Uncle Howie since I was a child. He always brought me sweets from his travels. He is like my real uncle. He would never... I mean, I´m just a child in comparison to him."

"I heard him saying that..." Wufei whispered.

Duo bowed his head, the expression of sick shock still on his face.

"And?" Heero probed further impatiently.

Wufei sighed again, the turned to Heero. "I got Meiran out of there since I had a really bad feeling about the whole thing. I took him to his father´s village, then returned to see how things turned out..." his voice trailed off. "The village was in flames, bodies were everywhere. They were all dead, slaughtered..."

Heero clenched his jaw, then released Wufei´s shoulder and turned to where his warm jacket lay.

"What are you doing, Heero?" Trowa asked. That seemed to bring Wufei out of his contemplation.

"I´m going to the village," the Enforcer answered, his voice ice cold.

Wufei opened, then closed his mouth a couple of times, watching Heero dress. "Why?" he asked in the end.

"I will look for survivors and..."

"And what?" Wufei interrupted him. "They are dead! All of them!" he shouted harshly. "There is no one to save. You will only forfeit your life if you go there." He caught the Enforcer by the sleeve of his jacket.

Heero pulled his arm out of the black haired man´s grasp and glared at him. "Then I will die with them. It was my duty to protect them and I failed."

Wufei looked helplessly toward Trowa, who was staring into the flames in the fireplace, then to Duo whose eyes were still downcast.

"What about Solo...?" the lifebearer asked in a soft voice. "Is he..." he swallowed painfully. "Is he dead too?"

Hearing the desperate question, everybody turned to Duo. The longhaired young man was pale and trembling.

Wufei managed to find a small reassuring smile for the benefit of his ex-lover. "No. He is in Sal´s village. He wanted to spend the winter festivities with him."

Duo blinked once, twice, then crystalline tears started to run down his pale cheeks. "It´s my fault," he whispered. "All of it. All I do is destroy everything I touch." His tone was full of self-loathing.

Heero, half dressed, crossed the room and knelt in front of his mate, gripping his love´s hands in his calloused ones. "It´s not your fault. You didn´t know. You couldn´t know," the Enforcer said softly. "If someone is to blame, then it´s me. I´m the Enforcer. I should´ve been there to save them, to-"

"Bullshit!" Wufei snapped, interrupting their guilt trip. "If there is one person you should blame, then it´s Father Maxwell. It was him who sold Duo to Howard; he spent all the money he got so that he had to steal the money of the villagers. He caused it. He and Howard." Wufei looked Heero firmly in the eyes. "And what would you´ve done, if you had´ve been there? Stood up against a small army? You may be good, but there is at least thirty of them and you´re alone." When Heero still glared at him, he continued, his tone desperate to make them understand. "Do you think anybody from the village would´ve helped you? Do you think they would´ve lifted a finger to protect Duo?"

Heero stood up slowly and laid one hand on Duo´s shoulder. "It doesn´t matter," he said, his voice flat. "I know my duty. The Enforcer protects the village and dies with it."

"Why? Why are you so intent on losing your life?" This time Wufei screamed. He came here to give them a chance to escape before the mercenaries came for them. Instead he was losing precious time arguing about whose fault it was.

"If I couldn´t protect them, I will at least revenge them," Heero said, his tone completely emotionless.

Wufei clenched his hands, still covered with gloves, in fists. "You would rather die, than live a life with Duo?" He pointed at the distressed lifebearer.

Something dangerous flashed through Heero´s eyes. "So that I can live like you?" When Wufei only blinked in confusion, Heero continued: "All you did was save your own mate. You just turned tail and ran!"

Cold furry gripped Wufei. "Yeah? And what should I have done, huh? Run from house to house and yell at the people that I had a bad feeling? Or should I have fetched you, so that you could die in a blaze of glory and leave Duo alone?"

The two men looked at each other, the anger in their eyes clashing together.

"He is right, Heero," Trowa said softly, who had been until now only following the conversation silently. "He is right and you know it, and that´s why you are so pissed. The villagers wouldn´t have done anything. They grew too lazy in the time since the last war. They grew to depend on the skills of the Enforcer. They would´ve sacrificed you, Duo, me, maybe even one another."

The silence in the hut grew heavy, the soft whining of Shinigami who seemed to follow their argument too the only sound besides the cracking fire.

"Only four persons survived from the village, Heero," Wufei said quietly, his voice suddenly void of any sign of anger. "Solo will surely stay with Sal. Meiran and I will live at my mate´s village. And that leaves only Duo." Wufei paused to let his words sink. "You know what that means? There is still one villager left who needs your protection, and it doesn´t matter that it´s your mate. He is the one who now owns the right to an Enforcer. And your duty is to protect him."

Heero clenched his teeth together. He understood the logic behind Wufei´s words, he didn´t like it though. It seemed too selfish to him.

"They will be here soon," the black haired man continued. "I´m sure one of the villagers, if not Father Maxwell himself, told them where they can find you. And when they see the mess at your hut, they will know that there is only one place where you could go to. Here." Wufei looked at Trowa, who was now watching him with a grim expression. "I´ve never been here and I still managed to find this place. There are dozens of them and if they spread..." he let his voice trail off.

For a moment, nothing happened. It looked as if they were figures frozen in time. Then Heero whispered: "I should´ve known something was wrong."

Trowa sighed and uncrossed his arms. "How? From what I saw you had problems of your own. But that´s the past. Now we have to think about the future. And the decision is yours."

Heero sighed deeply, scrubbing his face with his hands. Then it seemed as if everything snapped back into focus. He had made a decision. "We go," he said, his voice firm, no doubts left. "Trowa, give Duo something warm to dress in. We have to pack food, some clothes, blankets and weapons." Trowa nodded. "Don´t pack anything that´s not absolutely necessary."

Wufei sighed in relief. Finally. He just hoped it wasn´t too late. He took off his gloves and reached into the inside pocket of his warm jacket. "Here," he said, handing something over to Heero, while Trowa moved to pack already.

The Enforcer frowned as a heavy money purse slid into his hand. "What is it?"

The black haired man shrugged. "That´s all I could get together in such a short time. You can´t stay in the woods through the whole winter, that means you have to head south, to the cities. This will help you survive in the beginning," he explained. He felt still little bad that he couldnt´do anything more for them.

"Wufei-" Heero started to protest, but the black haired man stopped him with a raised hand.

"I made some wrong decisions in my life and they caused a lot of pain. That´s all I can do for you. I would give you my horse too, but I suspect that where you´re heading, it would be more of a burden than help."

Heero looked at him for a moment, as if gauging if his offer was genuine, then closed his hand over the purse and nodded. He tucked it safely into the inner pocket of his jacket, then turned around, only to spot Duo still sitting rooted in his place. He crouched in front of him. Seeing the shocked, hazy look in the violet eyes, he caught Duo´s face in his hands and swept the tears away with his thumbs.

"We have to move, Duo. Now! Can you do that for me?" he asked gently, as if speaking to a skittish colt.

Duo slowly nodded and allowed Heero to help him get up. He still didn´t say anything though. The world around him was changing too quickly. Just minutes ago he was happy that he finally found his lost memories, that he could have children again and now they were going to be refugees, on the run. His mind was still refusing to accept the truth.

It took a matter of minutes to get together small packs containing clothes, food and weapons for the three of them. Then they were standing there, about to leave one life behind and step into another one, but reluctant to take the step anyway.

"I... uhm..." Wufei wanted to say something, anything. He knew that this was probably the last time he would ever see Duo, but the words just wouldn´t came. So instead he quickly caught Duo in his arms and hugged the warmly clothed lifebearer tightly. "I´m so sorry about everything that happened," he whispered into Duo´s ear.

"I know," the longhaired man answered in the same, hushed tone. "I´m sorry too. I loved you, you know that, right?"

Wufei shut his eyes tightly, feeling the tears prickle behind his eyelids. "Yeah, I loved you too." With that he pulled back and looked Heero directly in the eyes. "Protect him," he said, making it sound like an order.

The Enforcer nodded. Then Trowa moved and opened the door, letting the ice cold air seeped in from the outside. Shinigami shot out and the four men followed him.

In front of the hut they split up, Wufei taking his horse from where he left him behind the hut, out of the cold wind and the other three men heading slowly into the woods.

Duo stopped among the first trees and turned around, watching his former lover disappear into the darkness together with his old life. What would they do now? They had no home, nowhere to go to. They only had themselves. Would it be enough? Was it even worth trying?

The lifebearer felt a tug on his arm. He looked around and spotted Heero, the man he loved more than his own life, standing next to him in the darkness.

"We have to go!" the Enforcer shouted over the wind.

Duo nodded slowly, then turned around and together with his mate and his best friend he headed towards an unknown future.

The End