(fic) Virgin Summer - Gundam Wing
Sep. 14th, 2009 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katikatVirgin Summer
AU, Silly, POV ~ 1+2 ~ Duo asks Heero to help him find Mr. Right. And of course, Heero is so helpful.
1
My name is Heero Yuy and I´m a completely normal 16-years-old. I live with my father and my twin brother who was born 26 minutes earlier than me and thus was bestowed with the dubious privilege of inheriting our father´s name - Odin (I once asked my father where his parents got this name from and he admitted that his mother - my grandmother - a high school teacher, had a weird fetish for Nordic gods. That´s probably the reason why our uncle answers to the name Loki, eh?). I go to the high school in our little coastal town, I do sports and am quite obsessed with computers. So, you see - a rather normal guy.
And I have lots of friends, too - you know, being a baseball star and stuff (not that I´m trying to show off or anything, simply stating the facts here) - but that´s beside the point. The reason why I´m talking to you here is because of my best friend. One, Duo Maxwell.
You see, I have known Duo for... well, forever. I must admit I don´t remember not knowing him. He lives with his parents in the house next to ours. His brother started to study at university last year. He wants to be... uh, I´m not sure what he wants to be right now. Three years ago, it was his dream to be a doctor. Two years ago, he wanted to be some sort of engineer. But I think he will end up being a lawyer, just like his father.
But Duo´s family is not what is important here. I wanted to talk about Duo. As I said, we have been friends forever. He is closer to me than my own flesh and blood. I can talk to him about anything. Even about sex and stuff like that.
And that´s were things get rather complicated. You see, I´m heterosexual through and through. But Duo is not. Heterosexual, I mean. He is gay and proud of it. How do I know? Well, he told me. On his 12th birthday. We were sitting in the garden, it was getting dark and suddenly he looked at me through his bangs and said: "I´m gay."
I remember blinking once, then turning to him. He had this vulnerable expression on his face but the reason escaped me. So, I looked at him and said: "Okay." And that was it. I mean, so what? He is gay, I´m not. He looked quite shocked at my answer, then incredibly pleased. ‘Til this day, I don´t understand what his problem was. Boggles the mind.
Now, as I said, my best friend is gay. My girlfriends find it really "cool". I started to date, you see? At first not, though. It was only me and Duo, doing the best-friends-things. And the world was perfect. Then I started to date and Duo remained single. Everything was still perfect. Then I began to have sex, but Duo stayed virgin, waiting for Mr Right. Which was more than perfect since I can´t imagine him with anybody. Not dating, not holding hands nor kissing and especially - for heaven´s sake - NOT having SEX! See me shudder here. Why? Well, he´s mine... err, my best friend, right? I don´t want to share him with anybody. Don´t ask me why since there is no logical answer to it. I´m a selfish teenager. ´Nough said.
So, I´m dating, having sex, doing lotsa cool things with my virginal gay best friend and the world is the coolest place to live. Right? Wrong! Actually, I would agree with the 'right' thing... but only until this summer and the last day of school. That was when Duo almost gave me a heart attack.
*-*-*-*-*-*
"I decided to lose my virginity this summer!"
I started to choke as my cola went down the wrong way. Duo, who had been until then lying on the grass next to me, sat up and pounded me on the back.
"Better?" he asked when I finally managed take a wheezing breath.
"Yeah," I rasped, then turned to him fully. "Did you say what I think you said?"
Duo nodded happily, closed his eyes and lifted his freckled nose in the sun. "Yep. I´m going to lose my virginity this summer. I’ve made up my mind and nothing is going to change it!"
I blinked at him stupidly. "And what about Mr Right?"
Duo looked at me, his long braid swinging from side to side as he bounced excitedly in the place. "That´s where you fit in my plan."
I lifted my eyebrows. "Come again?"
My best friend took my hands in his, his violet eyes twinkling merrily. "You´re going to help me find the man of my dreams!"
*-*-*-*-*
So, my virginal gay best friend, asked me, a not-so-virginal, heterosexual guy, to help him find Mr Right who he will then invite to his bed and let the man take his virginity. And with my blessing!
You see, that´s how the longest summer in my life began...!
2
So, with the hardship of such a complicated mission on my shoulders, I opted for the scientific approach. I´m all for science after all. And that meant, I needed more information. About what, you ask? Well, about things that... you know... have to do with Duo dating men, holding hands with them, kiss... kissing them and having s... s... uh, about other things he could do with them too. And so I went on a quest to find out the substantial information needed for fulfilling the task I´ve been bestowed with.
Hmm, I still don´t understand what was wrong with the librarian today. Maybe she was ill? I mean, she turned bright red and her eyes threatened to pop up from her head and stuff like that. I don´t like to talk to these weird mouse-like looking old ladies that have their nose stuck in a book all day, but this time there is no way around it. I mean I really needed to know where they keep books about gay sex!
And so I borrowed every single book they had on homosexuality and the sexuality of homosexuals and homo-sex and... err, even one book about homunculus? Hmm, the lady must have been really not herself today.
Arms full of books I kicked the door of my room shut in the face of my smirking brother, dropped my load on the bed and munching on my favorite mark of Crunchie bar, I started to read the mission details...
*-*-*-*-*
"What do you know about sex?"
This time it was Duo who choked on his cola. "Beg you pardon?"
"You know... sex. Bunnies... Bees and birds..."
"I know what sex is!" he interrupted me, annoyed, then flopped on his back in the grass.
I lifted my eyebrows and looked at him. "You do?"
"Okay, okay. Maybe not from my own experience, but we had Sex Ed in school. Even had to roll the awfully pink condom on that damn banana. That was so embarrassing!" he moaned.
I smirked remembering the scene where our teacher called Duo up to the front to demonstrate the class how to put a condom on a banana. That was probably the first and last time I saw the braided tornado blush.
"But I mean gay sex, not the het one they try to convince us is the norm in our society."
"Sex is sex!" came the simple answer.
"Is it? So, you´ve heard about blowjobs, penetration, anal sex, oral sex, handjobs, rimming-"
His hand shot up. "Spare me the details."
"Oh, that *was* no details, trust me on that. But since you want to have sex, I think you should know more about it." I looked away, hiding the wicked gleam in my eyes. "For example, did you know that..."
I spent the next half an hour explaining Duo all the mysteries of gay sex - in gory *gory* detail. Yeah, research is a good thing. And although I would never admit it aloud, I took a perverse pleasure in watching Duo grow more and more uncomfortable... pale, paler, white as a snow then blush deep red until he looked like a ripe tomato and I almost cheered "Hah!" in triumph. I know, I know - my thoughts weren´t of the purest sort, but as I said - Duo and sex just do not belong together, not even in one sentence... if I can help it, that is. I mean, I know what´s the best for him, right? Right?! Right!
So, when finally Duo wiggled and fidgeted in his place, all nervous and sweating, I went for the kill. "And how large should Mr Right be?"
He looked at me, eyes wide, uncomprehending. "Huh?"
"You know, for the right size of condoms... hmm, maybe you should buy more in different sizes if you´re not sure... and what do you think about strawberry flavored lube?"
Duo choked, sputtered, then hid his face behind his hands and I nodded firmly to myself. Yes, I will do what´s the best for him. Duo and sex? NO WAY!!!
3
So, after explaining the secrets of gay sex to my homosexual but still virgin best friend, I decided it was time to go shopping. And thus I dragged the rather reluctant Duo to a drug store. Of course, hearing about what I had in mind, my twin brother decided to trail along too muttering something along the lines of "*This* I need to see."
Let's just say that I was thrilled beyond belief having him snicker in the background all the time whilst I discussed the merits of water-based lube in comparison to the oil-based one with the guy behind the counter. The young punk with his pierced nose seemed rather excited about the possibility of an in-depth discussion about this subject - to my brother´s never ending amusement, of course.
In the end - after thinking long and hard, since for some odd reason that stayed a mystery to me, Duo decided not to participate in our discussion - I purchased two multipacks of condoms (one cherry flavored, the other one in neon colors) and two tubes of strawberry flavored lube for Duo.
What I found weird though was the fact that when I turned around, Duo was blushing like a... well, like a virgin. My brother, however, had this highly amused grin on his face and the whole drug store was looking at me as if I had grown a second head. I glared at them and snapped a short "What?!" after which all of them looked more than eager to get out of my way.
At this point Odin started to laugh out loud, holding his stomach as if he was ready to puke any moment. I glared at him even more fiercely, but that just put him in another round of helpless giggles. My brother, my twin - by the way, did I mention that we were identical twins? - was enjoying himself way too much. I didn´t see anything funny in asking the salesperson for information about the products they had on store. That was their job after all.
So, gripping Duo´s elbow with my left hand and carrying the bag with my purchase in the other we walked out of the store, leaving the still giggling Odin behind. Duo looked more than happy to leave but even now, I don´t understand why. I thought he liked to shop there. Boggles the mind.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Sex Ed off the table, it was time for another step in Duo´s hunt for Mr. Right now. The correct set of clothes. I freely admit that I lack experience in this department since all I wear are black jeans or black cut-offs and a green tank top. That meant I needed reinforcement. And there was only one person I could call to help in the face of such adversity - Relena.
Relena Peacecraft is... well, she was my girlfriend Nr. 23 and 1/2 to 27 and 3/4 - at least that´s what Duo is calling her. We had been together off and on for the last one and half years until she finally decided to dump me. I always thought she wasn´t completely all right in her head - her boobs were okay, though - but her reasons for breaking up with me were completely ridiculous. I mean, she said that I was too involved with Duo. That all I could think or talk about was him. And me mentioning his name whilst being in bed with her was the straw that broke the camel´s back. What a piece of crap. Do I look like I´m obsessed with Duo?
On the other hand, we remained good friends and I must grudgingly admit that she has style - even though the whole pink stuff makes my teeth ache. And so one rainy afternoon I invited her to Duo´s house. In her own style she made herself completely at home and comfortable, dragging Duo to his room and raiding his wardrobe whilst ordering me to "sit tight" in the living room. Psst, don´t tell anybody but woman or not, I always listen to her orders - she is scary, you know?
I snickered hearing Duo´s shouts of protest as she started to pull the clothes off his body probably letting him stand there only in his underwear whilst walking around him in circles with a pondering look on her face. I bet even Duo´s freckles were blushing. Poor boy, but it was necessary. Dressed all in black and looking like the owner of a funeral home was no way to catch the eye of Mr. Right - at least that´s what Relena said. I found Duo´s art of dressing perfectly okay. My opinion obviously degraded me to the level of a primitive Neanderthal with no style in her eyes.
For the next hour or so, she had made Duo to her personal dressing mannequin. Going through his wardrobe and shaking her head at the limited amount of clothing she was forced to work with, she ordered Duo to put on this and that and this too, then kept pushing him in front of herself through the door and down the corridor into the living room where I was waiting to pass my judgment.
Too tight... too much skin... too much leather... With each of my decisions Relena´s eyes grew narrower and narrower and her foot was tapping faster and faster. Duo kept silent, looking as if he would rather be somewhere else and the farther away, the better. But I couldn´t help it. I will NOT allow Duo to walk around with his stomach naked or his pants riding so low on his hips that the crack of his ass was almost winking at me merrily! NO.WAY.IN.HELL! Over my dead body! Buried and eaten by worms!
It took her over an hour to find the right thing that left me almost cheering - if I would lower myself to cheer - loud. When I nodded and gave her the thumbs-up gesture, she left her hands sit on her hips and raised her eyebrow.
"Heero, bear, you *do* realize that he has his brother´s ten years old track suit on?" She was talking slowly and her voice was calm and low as if talking to an idiot.
I blinked and let my eyes run over my best friend´s body - from the tips of his toes that were almost lost in the folds of the too long pants to his blushing face from which I could see only his freckled nose and the large violet eyes because the rest was hidden behind the sickly green garment´s high neck. The worn knees and elbows I won´t even mention. I shrugged.
"Relena, he is searching for Mr. Right not a one-night-stand - which I wouldn´t allow anyway! Duo won´t be touched by anybody who doesn´t find him adorable even wearing a pink tutu and bunny ears!"
Unfazed by their incredulous faces and bulging eyes, I - the self-appointed guardian of Duo´s virginity - crossed my arms over my chest and nodded to myself. My way or the high way.
I wonder if they still sell chastity belts these days.
4
So, the less important things crossed from the list, I thought it was time to get to the core of our little problem... AKA Mr. Right.
I´ve never seen my brother look so shocked as when I told him that I made a list of potential lovers for Duo, then went from door to door to actually ask each man if was a) single and b) gay. Yes, in that order. Why? Well, if Duo liked the guy, I could convince him that he IS gay. I would charm him with my personality, then pummel him into the ground if he refused to listen. But would you try the same thing if some girl was hanging around his neck? No? I thought so. Women were unstoppable forces of nature. Like tornadoes. And caused the same amount of mess.
But back to my brother. He looked rather shocked at me, then asked if it actually worked. Of course it worked since it was my plan after all. And so, after being backhanded, shouted at, and almost eaten by a monster of a dog, I had the list down to five names. When I showed the mostly crossed off list of names to Odin, he sighed as if wanting to indulge my whim, then patted me on my head and after shaking his head he left the room, muttering something about idiots. Yep, I also thought the guys who would refuse a boy like Duo were truly idiots indeed.
So, the list prepared, I picked up the phone receiver and called Duo.
*-*-*-*-*
"What should the guy actually look like?" I asked when we finally seated ourselves down comfortably.
In some weird way, the number of people in my room grew from two to four in a matter of minutes. Me and Duo were usually present. For some odd reason though, Relena kept appearing every time I and Duo met to talk about things. If I didn´t know her better, I would say she was spying on us. But why she would do it was beyond me. So, now she was lying in the pink cloud that was her summer dress on her stomach on my bed, kicking her legs in the air and sucking on her pink lollipop. And then there was my annoying brother of course. Knowing what we would be talking about, he propped himself against the doorway, crossed his arms on his chest and a rather amused smirk lifted up the corners of his mouth.
"Look like?" Duo asked, blinking in surprise.
"Yeah. You know: height, weight, hair, eyes, the size of his-"
Duo blushed and raised his hand, obviously not wanting to speak about this matter again.
"So?" I pushed when he didn´t answer my question immediately.
Tapping a finger against his lips, Duo looked heavenward as if the answer was written on the ceiling of my room. "We~ll, he shouldn´t be much older than me," he started.
I looked down on the list lying on my knee and crossed the first name. Treize Khushrenada. Twenty-six. Yeah, Duo was right. Twent-six meant almost thirty. Which meant old. No, Duo wouldn´t be going out with a grandpa!
"He shouldn´t be much taller than me," Duo continued.
Another name crossed. I mean, Milliardo Peacecraft? Relena´s brother? If that wasn´t bad enough, he was as tall as the Eiffel Tower. Duo would need a ladder or a stepstool to kiss him. So, young or not, too bad for him that he had to grow up to be so tall.
"He wouldn´t have to be a conversationalist, per se, but he would need to know how to express himself."
Trowa Barton. Crossed off. Even a goldfish knew how to express itself better than this guy. I mean one of our teachers mistook him for a statue once! Gone, deleted!
"He would have to be kind of exotic looking."
Exotic? Well, that was the one thing Quatre Winner wasn´t. He was a plushie. Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Being in his presence made you think of birds, flowers and Easter bunnies. And somehow of... Relena? Must be the pink shirt.
That meant only one name remained...
"And his hair would have to be kinda messy, you know? The way it just pulls you to run your fingers through it," Duo said dreamily.
Messy hair? Wufei with messy hair? I almost shuddered thinking about it. I would bet he was the reason the drug store was always out of hair spray. I mean, sometimes I had the feeling that I could whack him over the head and he wouldn´t even feel it, with the amount of stuff he smeared or sprayed on it. His hair was sacred to him. I wouldn´t like to see Duo with his fingers broken because he touched it, since then I would have to go and find out which of the two of us - me and Wufei - paid better attention in martial arts class. Out!
I stared at the list I prepared with such care a little forlornly. Not one match. And I was so careful with my research because, you know, research is everything... Did that mean that there was no one in our little town destined to be Duo´s first?
I sighed… then shrugged. I did my best after all. And Duo was too young for sex anyway. He should wait a year… two… or twenty! I just opened my mouth to make this suggestion when…
"Hey!" Relena jumped in, then sat up and bounced on my bed in excitement. "I know a guy who looks like that!" She clapped her hands.
"You do?" Duo and I asked at the same moment, surprised.
She nodded happily, then raised her hand and pointed. "It´s him!"
Everybody turned to Odin who blinked at us, the smile vanishing from his face. Young, short, exotic looking, messy hair... Oh. My. God. It really did fit. But... but... my brother and Duo?
EWWWWWWWW!!!
5
"... and take him only to places for non-smokers, okay? He can´t get the smoke out of his hair. Not even the herbal shampoo I bought him seems to work," I said, following Odin around the house while he was slowly getting dressed.
"Okay."
"And don´t take him to Virgil´s Coffee either. Virgil is an idiot and a homophobe and makes Duo uncomfortable."
"Okay."
"And don´t let Duo eat strawberries. He always gets a rash because of them."
"Okay."
"And Duo likes to drink apple cinnamon tea or hot chocolate. He loves sweet rolls, too. And apple pie, but not together with the tea. And vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup."
"Okay."
"And don´t drive with the top down. The wind always makes a mess out of Duo´s hair."
"Okay."
"And don´t rush anything. Be calm and considerate."
"Okay."
I stopped while Odin knelt down on the carpeted floor and stuck his head under the bed to try and find his missing shoe. I couldn´t believe what a pig he was sometimes. "Maybe I should go with you after all. It IS Duo´s first date and maybe I should be there as moral support."
"NO!" His voice was muffled by the bed.
"Why not? I mean, I took Duo on my dates too."
Odin seemed to finally find a way out from underneath the bed. He sat back to put on the shoe he pulled out with a triumphant expression. "And I´m sure the girls didn´t mind."
I blinked at his sarcastic remark. "No, they didn´t."
"Right."
I went over the list of things I wanted to warn Odin about, trying to figure out if I didn´t forget anything important. "Oh yeah, and-"
"We will be fine, Heero." He got up from the floor and clapped me on my shoulder. With that, he turned around and headed down the stairs. He opened the door but before leaving the house, he turned back to me with a smirk. "And don´t stay up. I might be late."
I stared at the door that closed with a bang, dumbfounded. They were really going to do it. They would... Duo would... and them... I couldn´t believe it. My brother was taking my best friend, MY DUO! on a date. I mean... my brother? What did Duo see in this jerk? I had a very odd, dark feeling in my stomach about the whole thing...
Slowly, I walked over to the window and looked out. In the dim light of the street lamp, I watched Odin jump into our father´s convertible - without opening the door of course. Duo was already waiting for him there. They turned to each other and smiled. The feeling in my stomach intensified and I felt a growl start to rumble in my throat.
With a deepening frown, I watched Odin lay his arm across the back of Duo's seat. Then he moved closer... his mouth was moving, talking, I could see that... but he still leaned closer... and...! He WOULDN'T...!
THAT WAS IT!
I don´t actually remember how I got down the stairs, out of the door, down the side walk and to the car so quickly. What I do remember is how I tore open the car door, pulled the wide eyed, completely shellshocked Duo out and before he could do more than squeak in surprise, I caught his face in my hands and... KISSED him!
I was... shocked. What the heck... I mean... I´m not... gay, you know. YOU´RE KISSING YOUR BEST MALE FRIEND! my mind was screaming at me but before my body could react, I felt Duo loosen up and grow pliant in my arms. He completely melted, closed his wide eyes, slipped his arms around my neck and... my mind went on vacation. Bye bye, Mr Brain! Hello, Mr Libido!
It was good. Duo was good. And sweet. And spicy. And MINE! Not sharing. Not ever. And even though everything was good, my highly amused brother´s laughter and the honking of the convertible as he hammered on the steering wheel with his fist in hilarity were less than good. Actually, all the background noise was pretty annoying and that´s why I waved my fist in his direction without opening my eyes or separating my lips from Duo´s. And I think he must have understood the meaning of my threatening gesture, for the car pulled from the sidewalk and suddenly there was only silence.
And everything was good again, and we were standing there and kissing and groping each other and in surprise I felt the dark feeling in my stomach disappear and something warm and delightful replaced it. And then there was Duo, and he was in my arms and I decided at that very moment to never let him go or out of my sight or out of my arms...
Because, you see, he is MINE! HANDS OFF!
Epilog
By the end of the summer Duo lost his virginity in every possible way. The sex was... hot! In two short weeks Duo turned - in the matter of sex of course - from a plush bunny to a wild tiger. He and Heero talked about sex, had sex and talked about sex while having sex. There was no place in or around their houses where they didn´t make love during the hot summer months - much to the annoyance of the neighbors and embarassment of the family. In Heero´s straightforward way, he didn´t make any secrets about them being lovers - not in front of the family, neighbors or complete strangers - and after the second or third time his father, Odin Yuy, simply gave up on trying to make him understand that not everybody can handle the display of two young males having sex on the back porch. For Heero sex was sex, simple as that. If you can´t handle it, then you´re obviously frigid or just weird.
They never talked about love, but nothing short of writing it on the sky could be more obvious than their long looks and lingering touches. Heero got used to caressing Duo´s long hair all the time, and the gesture with which he could tell him everything from "I love you" to "shut up" was the way he grabbed Duo´s braid. And then there was Duo, always bouncing around his lover like a puppet on a string, talking a mile a minute just like always, smiling and laughing and making Heero smile and laugh, which was rather unusual and an unheard of thing.
And so, when the summer ended, the whole town knew - Duo and Heero were together... God (and quick feet) help the person who would try to disturb their new found happiness...
*-*-*-*-*
"So... They are finally together," Relena stated sipping her lemonade and watching the traffic behind the window of the small coffee shop.
Odin nodded taking a healthy bite of his strawberry cake. "Yeah, I´m still surprised our house is still standing. You know, there are some things about the love life of my brother I really do NOT need to know." He shuddered with disgust.
Relena laughed. "I heard that your neighbors were close to calling the police for-" she made the quotation mark with her fingers "- unusual but surely illegal activity." She grinned.
Odin laughed too. "Yeah. Thank god that Dad has friends at city hall."
They fell silent for a moment, paying attention to their desserts.
In the end, it was Odin who broke the silence. "So, do you think that Heero will ever figure out that it was Duo who won him and not the other way around?"
Relena looked over to the opposite corner of the of the shop where Duo and Heero were sitting in a booth - Duo looking at his lover as if he was a holy picture of some sort and Heero glaring at everybody who dared to even peek at his braided love. Good old possessive Heero.
"Nah," Relena waved a hand. "I don´t think so. It took us months of planning to get him to notice Duo that way. I remember the moment where we were so desperate that we pondered stripping Duo naked, sticking the two of them together in a bedroom and just letting nature take its course. I bet he will never realize that he was the prey and not the hunter."
Odin nodded with a grin. "Yeah, he is hopelessly blind."
"He´s not the only one," Relena muttered quietly to herself, then added aloud. "You´re right. Some people really don´t see what´s right in front of them." She looked Odin directly in the eyes with a pointed look, but when the boy only nodded and started to munch on his cake again, Relena rolled her eyes. Oh yeah, looks like this will be another battle, fighting uphill all the way.
Because in some families, blindness obviously runs in their genes.
The End
AU, Silly, POV ~ 1+2 ~ Duo asks Heero to help him find Mr. Right. And of course, Heero is so helpful.
1
My name is Heero Yuy and I´m a completely normal 16-years-old. I live with my father and my twin brother who was born 26 minutes earlier than me and thus was bestowed with the dubious privilege of inheriting our father´s name - Odin (I once asked my father where his parents got this name from and he admitted that his mother - my grandmother - a high school teacher, had a weird fetish for Nordic gods. That´s probably the reason why our uncle answers to the name Loki, eh?). I go to the high school in our little coastal town, I do sports and am quite obsessed with computers. So, you see - a rather normal guy.
And I have lots of friends, too - you know, being a baseball star and stuff (not that I´m trying to show off or anything, simply stating the facts here) - but that´s beside the point. The reason why I´m talking to you here is because of my best friend. One, Duo Maxwell.
You see, I have known Duo for... well, forever. I must admit I don´t remember not knowing him. He lives with his parents in the house next to ours. His brother started to study at university last year. He wants to be... uh, I´m not sure what he wants to be right now. Three years ago, it was his dream to be a doctor. Two years ago, he wanted to be some sort of engineer. But I think he will end up being a lawyer, just like his father.
But Duo´s family is not what is important here. I wanted to talk about Duo. As I said, we have been friends forever. He is closer to me than my own flesh and blood. I can talk to him about anything. Even about sex and stuff like that.
And that´s were things get rather complicated. You see, I´m heterosexual through and through. But Duo is not. Heterosexual, I mean. He is gay and proud of it. How do I know? Well, he told me. On his 12th birthday. We were sitting in the garden, it was getting dark and suddenly he looked at me through his bangs and said: "I´m gay."
I remember blinking once, then turning to him. He had this vulnerable expression on his face but the reason escaped me. So, I looked at him and said: "Okay." And that was it. I mean, so what? He is gay, I´m not. He looked quite shocked at my answer, then incredibly pleased. ‘Til this day, I don´t understand what his problem was. Boggles the mind.
Now, as I said, my best friend is gay. My girlfriends find it really "cool". I started to date, you see? At first not, though. It was only me and Duo, doing the best-friends-things. And the world was perfect. Then I started to date and Duo remained single. Everything was still perfect. Then I began to have sex, but Duo stayed virgin, waiting for Mr Right. Which was more than perfect since I can´t imagine him with anybody. Not dating, not holding hands nor kissing and especially - for heaven´s sake - NOT having SEX! See me shudder here. Why? Well, he´s mine... err, my best friend, right? I don´t want to share him with anybody. Don´t ask me why since there is no logical answer to it. I´m a selfish teenager. ´Nough said.
So, I´m dating, having sex, doing lotsa cool things with my virginal gay best friend and the world is the coolest place to live. Right? Wrong! Actually, I would agree with the 'right' thing... but only until this summer and the last day of school. That was when Duo almost gave me a heart attack.
*-*-*-*-*-*
"I decided to lose my virginity this summer!"
I started to choke as my cola went down the wrong way. Duo, who had been until then lying on the grass next to me, sat up and pounded me on the back.
"Better?" he asked when I finally managed take a wheezing breath.
"Yeah," I rasped, then turned to him fully. "Did you say what I think you said?"
Duo nodded happily, closed his eyes and lifted his freckled nose in the sun. "Yep. I´m going to lose my virginity this summer. I’ve made up my mind and nothing is going to change it!"
I blinked at him stupidly. "And what about Mr Right?"
Duo looked at me, his long braid swinging from side to side as he bounced excitedly in the place. "That´s where you fit in my plan."
I lifted my eyebrows. "Come again?"
My best friend took my hands in his, his violet eyes twinkling merrily. "You´re going to help me find the man of my dreams!"
*-*-*-*-*
So, my virginal gay best friend, asked me, a not-so-virginal, heterosexual guy, to help him find Mr Right who he will then invite to his bed and let the man take his virginity. And with my blessing!
You see, that´s how the longest summer in my life began...!
2
So, with the hardship of such a complicated mission on my shoulders, I opted for the scientific approach. I´m all for science after all. And that meant, I needed more information. About what, you ask? Well, about things that... you know... have to do with Duo dating men, holding hands with them, kiss... kissing them and having s... s... uh, about other things he could do with them too. And so I went on a quest to find out the substantial information needed for fulfilling the task I´ve been bestowed with.
Hmm, I still don´t understand what was wrong with the librarian today. Maybe she was ill? I mean, she turned bright red and her eyes threatened to pop up from her head and stuff like that. I don´t like to talk to these weird mouse-like looking old ladies that have their nose stuck in a book all day, but this time there is no way around it. I mean I really needed to know where they keep books about gay sex!
And so I borrowed every single book they had on homosexuality and the sexuality of homosexuals and homo-sex and... err, even one book about homunculus? Hmm, the lady must have been really not herself today.
Arms full of books I kicked the door of my room shut in the face of my smirking brother, dropped my load on the bed and munching on my favorite mark of Crunchie bar, I started to read the mission details...
*-*-*-*-*
"What do you know about sex?"
This time it was Duo who choked on his cola. "Beg you pardon?"
"You know... sex. Bunnies... Bees and birds..."
"I know what sex is!" he interrupted me, annoyed, then flopped on his back in the grass.
I lifted my eyebrows and looked at him. "You do?"
"Okay, okay. Maybe not from my own experience, but we had Sex Ed in school. Even had to roll the awfully pink condom on that damn banana. That was so embarrassing!" he moaned.
I smirked remembering the scene where our teacher called Duo up to the front to demonstrate the class how to put a condom on a banana. That was probably the first and last time I saw the braided tornado blush.
"But I mean gay sex, not the het one they try to convince us is the norm in our society."
"Sex is sex!" came the simple answer.
"Is it? So, you´ve heard about blowjobs, penetration, anal sex, oral sex, handjobs, rimming-"
His hand shot up. "Spare me the details."
"Oh, that *was* no details, trust me on that. But since you want to have sex, I think you should know more about it." I looked away, hiding the wicked gleam in my eyes. "For example, did you know that..."
I spent the next half an hour explaining Duo all the mysteries of gay sex - in gory *gory* detail. Yeah, research is a good thing. And although I would never admit it aloud, I took a perverse pleasure in watching Duo grow more and more uncomfortable... pale, paler, white as a snow then blush deep red until he looked like a ripe tomato and I almost cheered "Hah!" in triumph. I know, I know - my thoughts weren´t of the purest sort, but as I said - Duo and sex just do not belong together, not even in one sentence... if I can help it, that is. I mean, I know what´s the best for him, right? Right?! Right!
So, when finally Duo wiggled and fidgeted in his place, all nervous and sweating, I went for the kill. "And how large should Mr Right be?"
He looked at me, eyes wide, uncomprehending. "Huh?"
"You know, for the right size of condoms... hmm, maybe you should buy more in different sizes if you´re not sure... and what do you think about strawberry flavored lube?"
Duo choked, sputtered, then hid his face behind his hands and I nodded firmly to myself. Yes, I will do what´s the best for him. Duo and sex? NO WAY!!!
3
So, after explaining the secrets of gay sex to my homosexual but still virgin best friend, I decided it was time to go shopping. And thus I dragged the rather reluctant Duo to a drug store. Of course, hearing about what I had in mind, my twin brother decided to trail along too muttering something along the lines of "*This* I need to see."
Let's just say that I was thrilled beyond belief having him snicker in the background all the time whilst I discussed the merits of water-based lube in comparison to the oil-based one with the guy behind the counter. The young punk with his pierced nose seemed rather excited about the possibility of an in-depth discussion about this subject - to my brother´s never ending amusement, of course.
In the end - after thinking long and hard, since for some odd reason that stayed a mystery to me, Duo decided not to participate in our discussion - I purchased two multipacks of condoms (one cherry flavored, the other one in neon colors) and two tubes of strawberry flavored lube for Duo.
What I found weird though was the fact that when I turned around, Duo was blushing like a... well, like a virgin. My brother, however, had this highly amused grin on his face and the whole drug store was looking at me as if I had grown a second head. I glared at them and snapped a short "What?!" after which all of them looked more than eager to get out of my way.
At this point Odin started to laugh out loud, holding his stomach as if he was ready to puke any moment. I glared at him even more fiercely, but that just put him in another round of helpless giggles. My brother, my twin - by the way, did I mention that we were identical twins? - was enjoying himself way too much. I didn´t see anything funny in asking the salesperson for information about the products they had on store. That was their job after all.
So, gripping Duo´s elbow with my left hand and carrying the bag with my purchase in the other we walked out of the store, leaving the still giggling Odin behind. Duo looked more than happy to leave but even now, I don´t understand why. I thought he liked to shop there. Boggles the mind.
*-*-*-*-*-*
Sex Ed off the table, it was time for another step in Duo´s hunt for Mr. Right now. The correct set of clothes. I freely admit that I lack experience in this department since all I wear are black jeans or black cut-offs and a green tank top. That meant I needed reinforcement. And there was only one person I could call to help in the face of such adversity - Relena.
Relena Peacecraft is... well, she was my girlfriend Nr. 23 and 1/2 to 27 and 3/4 - at least that´s what Duo is calling her. We had been together off and on for the last one and half years until she finally decided to dump me. I always thought she wasn´t completely all right in her head - her boobs were okay, though - but her reasons for breaking up with me were completely ridiculous. I mean, she said that I was too involved with Duo. That all I could think or talk about was him. And me mentioning his name whilst being in bed with her was the straw that broke the camel´s back. What a piece of crap. Do I look like I´m obsessed with Duo?
On the other hand, we remained good friends and I must grudgingly admit that she has style - even though the whole pink stuff makes my teeth ache. And so one rainy afternoon I invited her to Duo´s house. In her own style she made herself completely at home and comfortable, dragging Duo to his room and raiding his wardrobe whilst ordering me to "sit tight" in the living room. Psst, don´t tell anybody but woman or not, I always listen to her orders - she is scary, you know?
I snickered hearing Duo´s shouts of protest as she started to pull the clothes off his body probably letting him stand there only in his underwear whilst walking around him in circles with a pondering look on her face. I bet even Duo´s freckles were blushing. Poor boy, but it was necessary. Dressed all in black and looking like the owner of a funeral home was no way to catch the eye of Mr. Right - at least that´s what Relena said. I found Duo´s art of dressing perfectly okay. My opinion obviously degraded me to the level of a primitive Neanderthal with no style in her eyes.
For the next hour or so, she had made Duo to her personal dressing mannequin. Going through his wardrobe and shaking her head at the limited amount of clothing she was forced to work with, she ordered Duo to put on this and that and this too, then kept pushing him in front of herself through the door and down the corridor into the living room where I was waiting to pass my judgment.
Too tight... too much skin... too much leather... With each of my decisions Relena´s eyes grew narrower and narrower and her foot was tapping faster and faster. Duo kept silent, looking as if he would rather be somewhere else and the farther away, the better. But I couldn´t help it. I will NOT allow Duo to walk around with his stomach naked or his pants riding so low on his hips that the crack of his ass was almost winking at me merrily! NO.WAY.IN.HELL! Over my dead body! Buried and eaten by worms!
It took her over an hour to find the right thing that left me almost cheering - if I would lower myself to cheer - loud. When I nodded and gave her the thumbs-up gesture, she left her hands sit on her hips and raised her eyebrow.
"Heero, bear, you *do* realize that he has his brother´s ten years old track suit on?" She was talking slowly and her voice was calm and low as if talking to an idiot.
I blinked and let my eyes run over my best friend´s body - from the tips of his toes that were almost lost in the folds of the too long pants to his blushing face from which I could see only his freckled nose and the large violet eyes because the rest was hidden behind the sickly green garment´s high neck. The worn knees and elbows I won´t even mention. I shrugged.
"Relena, he is searching for Mr. Right not a one-night-stand - which I wouldn´t allow anyway! Duo won´t be touched by anybody who doesn´t find him adorable even wearing a pink tutu and bunny ears!"
Unfazed by their incredulous faces and bulging eyes, I - the self-appointed guardian of Duo´s virginity - crossed my arms over my chest and nodded to myself. My way or the high way.
I wonder if they still sell chastity belts these days.
4
So, the less important things crossed from the list, I thought it was time to get to the core of our little problem... AKA Mr. Right.
I´ve never seen my brother look so shocked as when I told him that I made a list of potential lovers for Duo, then went from door to door to actually ask each man if was a) single and b) gay. Yes, in that order. Why? Well, if Duo liked the guy, I could convince him that he IS gay. I would charm him with my personality, then pummel him into the ground if he refused to listen. But would you try the same thing if some girl was hanging around his neck? No? I thought so. Women were unstoppable forces of nature. Like tornadoes. And caused the same amount of mess.
But back to my brother. He looked rather shocked at me, then asked if it actually worked. Of course it worked since it was my plan after all. And so, after being backhanded, shouted at, and almost eaten by a monster of a dog, I had the list down to five names. When I showed the mostly crossed off list of names to Odin, he sighed as if wanting to indulge my whim, then patted me on my head and after shaking his head he left the room, muttering something about idiots. Yep, I also thought the guys who would refuse a boy like Duo were truly idiots indeed.
So, the list prepared, I picked up the phone receiver and called Duo.
*-*-*-*-*
"What should the guy actually look like?" I asked when we finally seated ourselves down comfortably.
In some weird way, the number of people in my room grew from two to four in a matter of minutes. Me and Duo were usually present. For some odd reason though, Relena kept appearing every time I and Duo met to talk about things. If I didn´t know her better, I would say she was spying on us. But why she would do it was beyond me. So, now she was lying in the pink cloud that was her summer dress on her stomach on my bed, kicking her legs in the air and sucking on her pink lollipop. And then there was my annoying brother of course. Knowing what we would be talking about, he propped himself against the doorway, crossed his arms on his chest and a rather amused smirk lifted up the corners of his mouth.
"Look like?" Duo asked, blinking in surprise.
"Yeah. You know: height, weight, hair, eyes, the size of his-"
Duo blushed and raised his hand, obviously not wanting to speak about this matter again.
"So?" I pushed when he didn´t answer my question immediately.
Tapping a finger against his lips, Duo looked heavenward as if the answer was written on the ceiling of my room. "We~ll, he shouldn´t be much older than me," he started.
I looked down on the list lying on my knee and crossed the first name. Treize Khushrenada. Twenty-six. Yeah, Duo was right. Twent-six meant almost thirty. Which meant old. No, Duo wouldn´t be going out with a grandpa!
"He shouldn´t be much taller than me," Duo continued.
Another name crossed. I mean, Milliardo Peacecraft? Relena´s brother? If that wasn´t bad enough, he was as tall as the Eiffel Tower. Duo would need a ladder or a stepstool to kiss him. So, young or not, too bad for him that he had to grow up to be so tall.
"He wouldn´t have to be a conversationalist, per se, but he would need to know how to express himself."
Trowa Barton. Crossed off. Even a goldfish knew how to express itself better than this guy. I mean one of our teachers mistook him for a statue once! Gone, deleted!
"He would have to be kind of exotic looking."
Exotic? Well, that was the one thing Quatre Winner wasn´t. He was a plushie. Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Being in his presence made you think of birds, flowers and Easter bunnies. And somehow of... Relena? Must be the pink shirt.
That meant only one name remained...
"And his hair would have to be kinda messy, you know? The way it just pulls you to run your fingers through it," Duo said dreamily.
Messy hair? Wufei with messy hair? I almost shuddered thinking about it. I would bet he was the reason the drug store was always out of hair spray. I mean, sometimes I had the feeling that I could whack him over the head and he wouldn´t even feel it, with the amount of stuff he smeared or sprayed on it. His hair was sacred to him. I wouldn´t like to see Duo with his fingers broken because he touched it, since then I would have to go and find out which of the two of us - me and Wufei - paid better attention in martial arts class. Out!
I stared at the list I prepared with such care a little forlornly. Not one match. And I was so careful with my research because, you know, research is everything... Did that mean that there was no one in our little town destined to be Duo´s first?
I sighed… then shrugged. I did my best after all. And Duo was too young for sex anyway. He should wait a year… two… or twenty! I just opened my mouth to make this suggestion when…
"Hey!" Relena jumped in, then sat up and bounced on my bed in excitement. "I know a guy who looks like that!" She clapped her hands.
"You do?" Duo and I asked at the same moment, surprised.
She nodded happily, then raised her hand and pointed. "It´s him!"
Everybody turned to Odin who blinked at us, the smile vanishing from his face. Young, short, exotic looking, messy hair... Oh. My. God. It really did fit. But... but... my brother and Duo?
EWWWWWWWW!!!
5
"... and take him only to places for non-smokers, okay? He can´t get the smoke out of his hair. Not even the herbal shampoo I bought him seems to work," I said, following Odin around the house while he was slowly getting dressed.
"Okay."
"And don´t take him to Virgil´s Coffee either. Virgil is an idiot and a homophobe and makes Duo uncomfortable."
"Okay."
"And don´t let Duo eat strawberries. He always gets a rash because of them."
"Okay."
"And Duo likes to drink apple cinnamon tea or hot chocolate. He loves sweet rolls, too. And apple pie, but not together with the tea. And vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup."
"Okay."
"And don´t drive with the top down. The wind always makes a mess out of Duo´s hair."
"Okay."
"And don´t rush anything. Be calm and considerate."
"Okay."
I stopped while Odin knelt down on the carpeted floor and stuck his head under the bed to try and find his missing shoe. I couldn´t believe what a pig he was sometimes. "Maybe I should go with you after all. It IS Duo´s first date and maybe I should be there as moral support."
"NO!" His voice was muffled by the bed.
"Why not? I mean, I took Duo on my dates too."
Odin seemed to finally find a way out from underneath the bed. He sat back to put on the shoe he pulled out with a triumphant expression. "And I´m sure the girls didn´t mind."
I blinked at his sarcastic remark. "No, they didn´t."
"Right."
I went over the list of things I wanted to warn Odin about, trying to figure out if I didn´t forget anything important. "Oh yeah, and-"
"We will be fine, Heero." He got up from the floor and clapped me on my shoulder. With that, he turned around and headed down the stairs. He opened the door but before leaving the house, he turned back to me with a smirk. "And don´t stay up. I might be late."
I stared at the door that closed with a bang, dumbfounded. They were really going to do it. They would... Duo would... and them... I couldn´t believe it. My brother was taking my best friend, MY DUO! on a date. I mean... my brother? What did Duo see in this jerk? I had a very odd, dark feeling in my stomach about the whole thing...
Slowly, I walked over to the window and looked out. In the dim light of the street lamp, I watched Odin jump into our father´s convertible - without opening the door of course. Duo was already waiting for him there. They turned to each other and smiled. The feeling in my stomach intensified and I felt a growl start to rumble in my throat.
With a deepening frown, I watched Odin lay his arm across the back of Duo's seat. Then he moved closer... his mouth was moving, talking, I could see that... but he still leaned closer... and...! He WOULDN'T...!
THAT WAS IT!
I don´t actually remember how I got down the stairs, out of the door, down the side walk and to the car so quickly. What I do remember is how I tore open the car door, pulled the wide eyed, completely shellshocked Duo out and before he could do more than squeak in surprise, I caught his face in my hands and... KISSED him!
I was... shocked. What the heck... I mean... I´m not... gay, you know. YOU´RE KISSING YOUR BEST MALE FRIEND! my mind was screaming at me but before my body could react, I felt Duo loosen up and grow pliant in my arms. He completely melted, closed his wide eyes, slipped his arms around my neck and... my mind went on vacation. Bye bye, Mr Brain! Hello, Mr Libido!
It was good. Duo was good. And sweet. And spicy. And MINE! Not sharing. Not ever. And even though everything was good, my highly amused brother´s laughter and the honking of the convertible as he hammered on the steering wheel with his fist in hilarity were less than good. Actually, all the background noise was pretty annoying and that´s why I waved my fist in his direction without opening my eyes or separating my lips from Duo´s. And I think he must have understood the meaning of my threatening gesture, for the car pulled from the sidewalk and suddenly there was only silence.
And everything was good again, and we were standing there and kissing and groping each other and in surprise I felt the dark feeling in my stomach disappear and something warm and delightful replaced it. And then there was Duo, and he was in my arms and I decided at that very moment to never let him go or out of my sight or out of my arms...
Because, you see, he is MINE! HANDS OFF!
Epilog
By the end of the summer Duo lost his virginity in every possible way. The sex was... hot! In two short weeks Duo turned - in the matter of sex of course - from a plush bunny to a wild tiger. He and Heero talked about sex, had sex and talked about sex while having sex. There was no place in or around their houses where they didn´t make love during the hot summer months - much to the annoyance of the neighbors and embarassment of the family. In Heero´s straightforward way, he didn´t make any secrets about them being lovers - not in front of the family, neighbors or complete strangers - and after the second or third time his father, Odin Yuy, simply gave up on trying to make him understand that not everybody can handle the display of two young males having sex on the back porch. For Heero sex was sex, simple as that. If you can´t handle it, then you´re obviously frigid or just weird.
They never talked about love, but nothing short of writing it on the sky could be more obvious than their long looks and lingering touches. Heero got used to caressing Duo´s long hair all the time, and the gesture with which he could tell him everything from "I love you" to "shut up" was the way he grabbed Duo´s braid. And then there was Duo, always bouncing around his lover like a puppet on a string, talking a mile a minute just like always, smiling and laughing and making Heero smile and laugh, which was rather unusual and an unheard of thing.
And so, when the summer ended, the whole town knew - Duo and Heero were together... God (and quick feet) help the person who would try to disturb their new found happiness...
*-*-*-*-*
"So... They are finally together," Relena stated sipping her lemonade and watching the traffic behind the window of the small coffee shop.
Odin nodded taking a healthy bite of his strawberry cake. "Yeah, I´m still surprised our house is still standing. You know, there are some things about the love life of my brother I really do NOT need to know." He shuddered with disgust.
Relena laughed. "I heard that your neighbors were close to calling the police for-" she made the quotation mark with her fingers "- unusual but surely illegal activity." She grinned.
Odin laughed too. "Yeah. Thank god that Dad has friends at city hall."
They fell silent for a moment, paying attention to their desserts.
In the end, it was Odin who broke the silence. "So, do you think that Heero will ever figure out that it was Duo who won him and not the other way around?"
Relena looked over to the opposite corner of the of the shop where Duo and Heero were sitting in a booth - Duo looking at his lover as if he was a holy picture of some sort and Heero glaring at everybody who dared to even peek at his braided love. Good old possessive Heero.
"Nah," Relena waved a hand. "I don´t think so. It took us months of planning to get him to notice Duo that way. I remember the moment where we were so desperate that we pondered stripping Duo naked, sticking the two of them together in a bedroom and just letting nature take its course. I bet he will never realize that he was the prey and not the hunter."
Odin nodded with a grin. "Yeah, he is hopelessly blind."
"He´s not the only one," Relena muttered quietly to herself, then added aloud. "You´re right. Some people really don´t see what´s right in front of them." She looked Odin directly in the eyes with a pointed look, but when the boy only nodded and started to munch on his cake again, Relena rolled her eyes. Oh yeah, looks like this will be another battle, fighting uphill all the way.
Because in some families, blindness obviously runs in their genes.
The End
