don't be dull, be fannish

Carolyn: Enough! Everyone will wear their own clothes and sit in their own seats. Good God, I work in a kindergarten!

Or

Martin: I’m like a duck... I’m like a capsized duck.

Carolyn: There is another solution.
Martin: Yes?
Carolyn: Your mother, from the sound of it, represents the immovable force of someone who needs helping but does not want to be helped.
Martin: Ugh, yes.
Carolyn: Well, we have at our disposal, do we not, the irresistible force of someone who loves helping and doesn't really notice whether people want him or not.

Carolyn: It would help if you could try to look a little less ... peculiar.
Martin: Oh, I’m sorry, but it’s quite hard to not look peculiar when you’re in uniform, soaked to the skin and carrying a dead sheep.

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


( LOLOLOL! )

Douglas: Well on the walk round, though brief, I did notice one small problem with the otherwise entirely airworthy plane.
Martin: Yes?
Douglas: It has an Arthur stuck to the side of it.

Or...

Arthur: Here you are, Skip – nice hot cup of coffee.
Martin: Oh, it’s cold.
Arthur: Nice cup of coffee.
Martin: It’s horrible!
Arthur: Cup of coffee.
Martin: I’m not even sure it is coffee.
Arthur: Cup.

So I live in a horrible attic in a shared house where I'm the only grown-up - all the other five are students at the agricultural college. I've been there nine years now - that's three generations of students! They pass me on to the next lot like a sort of friendly ghost - "Oh, are you living in Parkside Terrace next year? Well, listen, there's a pilot in the attic, but don't worry, he never bothers anyone." I can't afford to go out, to buy nice food - I live on toast and pasta - sometimes, for a treat, I have a baked potato! So just... so you know, I'm not asking because I'm greedy.

Mr. Sargent: For starters, how many bodies did you rescue from the fuselage?
Carolyn: Two!
Mr. Sargent: Two. Which is pretty good going, given that I only put one in there.

Martin: Yeah, but… even if I did meet someone, where would I take them?

Carolyn: All right, biggles, you divert if something goes very, very seriously wrong, and I'm talking, "Oh, dear, surely we had two wings when we started wrong."

Or

Martin: But why? Why? I mean, why? Why?
Douglas: Four excellent questions.

Or

Douglas: Do you want me to drive for a bit, darling?
Martin: No thanks, dear. You know I get carsick in the passenger seat.