(no subject)

[katikat]

Do you sometimes feel sad for no reason at all? From time to time my mood turns blue. At first I feel perfectly fine and okay and cheerful and the normal stuff, you know. And then something changes. It´s very subtle and I can never guess what it is. It could be a fic or something I heard on TV. But everything goes downhill from there on. And then I find myself reading a sad fic and crying like an idiot or some very sad fic ideas pop up in my head. Usually these plot bunnies revolve around one of the main character leaving his lover with resignation, accepting his fate. Uh, is this a way for my subconsciousness to tell me something? I hope not!

And the fic ideas? Well, for example Lex having a one-night stand with Clark and Clark knowing it´ll not last more than this one night. And in the morning, he smiles gently and tells a nervous Lex that it´s okay, that he understands...
Or a threesome with Relena, Heero and Duo, where Duo realizes that the other two are leaving him out, that he doesn´t belong anymore. And so he is standing on the balcony during a party, it´s dark outside and he is drinking his wine, watching his lovers dance and smile and he knows that it´s over, for they didn´t even notice that he wasn´t there the whole evening. And so he contemplates what to do because he really wants them to be happy...

Yeah, depressing stuff, I know... I think, I´ll just go to bed now...