![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katikatDarkness and Light
Post-EW, blood, angst ~ 3+4 ~ The end of war doesn´t mean the end of violence.
"Quatre..."
Darkness... pain... numbness...
"Quatre, please...."
Sirens in the distance... water dripping... someone screaming...
"Quatre...?"
Hand caressing his cheek... panic in the voice calling him...
"Wake up for me..."
Is he sleeping? Maybe...
"Please..."
The voice... Trowa´s?... it hitched. Is he crying? Trowa never cries...
"Please, love, please..."
He tries to open his eyes, but they are so heavy and he is so tired... maybe he will go back to sleep again...
"No... don´t leave me... open your eyes..."
He frowns and tries to press his cheek into the hand caressing it ever so lightly. Someone is moaning... in pain, not desire... who...?
"Shh, I know it hurts. But you have to wake up for me."
It´s him...? He´s the one who... PAIN!!! He screams, his throat dry and raw... He can´t move... Everything HURTS!!!
"Shhh, please... you mustn´t move... don´t move, Quatre. You are making it worse..".
Worse? How can anything be worse than THAT? He pries his eyes open, but his vision is blurry and everything is dim. "Tro..."
Something moves in his field of vision. "Yeah, yeah, it´s me, love!"
He can´t see properly. Something wet is running down his face and makes it difficult to see. He tries to lift his hand to check his face but he can´t... Why? Oh, Trowa is holding his hands in his, not allowing him to move... What...?
"There was a bomb..." the blurry shadow that´s Trowa whispers and he... he could swear that there are... tears running down the handsome face...
Bomb? Where... Oh Allah, nononononono... they were at WEI... it´s Friday... and all of them, all the pilots go to their weekly dinner together on Friday... they were...
"Where... the oth´rs...?" He tries to turn his head to look around but it hurts too much and he realizes that he is lying on something hard and cold and... wet? What...
"I don´t know where they are. Almost half of the building collapsed. I tried to call them but nobody responded," Trowa´s voice broke at the end.
They could be.... dead? NO, NONONONO. They didn´t survive the war only to... only to...
He coughs and it HURTS! It hurts so much that he almost passes out... his already dim vision grows even darker and there is something wet escaping his lips... running down his chin..
"Shhh, please... breathe, Quatre... just breathe, okay? They will be here soon. Une and Sally and... just... just breathe... please?"
He blinks a couple of times. Breath... it´s so hard to breath. It´s like someone is sitting on his chest. And then there is this sharp pain in his side... What...?
With much effort, he lifts up his head just a little to look down and... he screams and screams and screams....
... there is a sharp metal spike protruding from his stomach.... and his blood... his blood is coating everything in a vivid red color... himself... the debris... Trowa...
The banged boy scoots closer to him, letting go of his arms and catching his face in his hands. "Quatre, please... calm down... everything will be okay... I swear! I SWEAR!!! Have I ever lied to you?"
He looks up and locks his watering eyes with the desperate ones, glad that the numbing feeling is returning to his body... Maybe... maybe Trowa is right? He never lied to him... Maybe...
"You have to trust me, okay? Just stay calm and trust me. I will take care of everything... you just... breath.... just breath..."
Funny... he always knew that Trowa was beautiful... but he never realized how much... He has the most wonderful green eyes... you could drown in them... He looks like an angel...
He tells him so and the incredibly green eyes fill with tears... running down his face, they leave behind clear trails on the blood stained cheeks... Is Trowa... is he.... hurt? Please tell me he isn´t hurt!
"No, I´m okay. I had been worse back in the war. Don´t worry about me..."
There... the small smile that means the world to him graces his lips... and Trowa is okay.... He relaxes and there is more blood dripping from his lips... But it doesn´t hurt anymore...
It´s kinda... nice...
He sees the panic in the eyes of his beloved. The panic that turns into relief when there is some scratching noise somewhere to the left of them. There are voices and his green-eyed angel is shouting...
But he doesn´t understand anymore... everything grows kinda foggy... and he has the feeling as if he is flying... as if he is weightless...
His eyes start to close and he is so tired again... So very very tired... He´ll just take a nap, okay? Just a short nap...
"Quatre, help is here..."
The floating feeling is so nice... like sleeping on a cloud...
"Quatre?"
Trowa... he sounds... maybe he should... he is so incredibly tired...
Five minutes, okay Trowa? Five more minutes. Then I will get up and go to work...
"Don´t do this to me! QUATRE!!!"
Just five more minutes...
===
Darkness... pain... voices?
"... careful. Have to stabilize him first!"
"The injury is too grave we can´t..."
Darkness...
"... yeah. That´s it. Hold him still. We have to brace him before..."
Someone is moving him and there is PAIN!!! He screamsscreamsscreamsscreams....
Darkness...
Footsteps... someone is running... he is moving again... he tries to swallow, but... there is something in his throat! They pushed something down his throat and he can´t breathe! He tries to lift his arms to free his throat from the hard object that won´t allow him to breathe, but he can´t lift his arms... They are tied down... HELP! TROWA! help... tears running down his face...
"Shh, Quatre..." Someone is wiping off the droplets of salty water running down his cheeks. "Everything will be okay... just relax..."
Who...? Not Trowa... Who...?
Darkness...
Motor running... Sirens wailing... Something pushing air into his aching lungs... in and out... in and out... Where...? He opens his eyes just a little... they immediately fill with tears and he shuts them tightly... light too harsh... head HURTS!!!
"Quatre?"
His name...? Who...? He pries his eyes open just a fraction... Blurry vision again... A shadow looming over him...
"Quatre, it´s Sally..."
Sally... he would smile if he could... such a good friend...
The numbness is leaving again... PAIN!!! in his side.... HURTS!!! makes him sick... can´t breathe... he squeezes his eyes tightly... so much PAIN!!! TROWA... make it go away... PLEASE!!!
He moans... arches his back to escape the pain... something... someone is holding him down... pressing his shoulders into the stretcher...
"Quatre! You have to calm down! Calm down!"
It hurtshurtshurtshurtshurtshurts...
There is a prick on his arm...
Numbness... Trowa... trowa... tro...
Darkness...
Squeeking wheels... running feet... shouting voices...
"... prepare him. We have no time. He is bleeding internally. It´s bad. I will go and scrub in. HURRY!"
They are moving him again... he cracks his eyes open... the overhead lights are bright... so bright... they are driving spikes in his aching head...
"Hey..." there is a voice... so gentle... a shadow is looming over him again... "Everything will be okay. Doctor Sally is the best. She will take care of you..."
Smile... the shadow is smiling... a... nurse...? all in white... makes him think of angels... Duo´s angels... Duo... the... bomb! Duo, Heero, Wufei and Trowa... Trowa... he was there, wasn´t he? Promising to take care of everything... wasn´t he? WASN´T HE???
TROWA! he tries to scream, but there is only a moan... he can´t talk... the tube in his throat... but he has to find
Trowa... he has to find his beloved.... TROWA!!!
"Calm down, boy. Calm down! I need help here! He is convulsing!"
There is the prick again...
"Sleep now. Everything will be okay..."
One lonely tear escapes his tightly shut eyes... okay? okay...
Trowa...? Where are you...? Will everything be okay...?
Trowa... Beloved...
Darkness...
===
beep... beep... beep...
The awful sound annoys him... it won´t let him sleep... He frowns...
Intake of breath... squeaking of a chair... Hand touching his face carefully...
"Quatre?"
The frown deepens... it´s so hard to open his eyes... they seem like they are glued shut... There! White ceiling... white walls... Hospital? Dim light... and... a banged figure in a wheel chair...
"Trowa..." his voice cracks and breaks... his throat is raw and burning, but at least the annoying tube is gone. He licks his dry lips...
His beloved moves quickly and slips a couple of ice chips in his mouth and he sucks on them greedily, moaning in relief as the cold liquid soothes the ache in his throat.
"More?" Trowa asks and he nods. He is happy to see his lover clearly now... the blurry vision is gone...
There are more chips between his lips and he smiles just a little... and Trowa is... fairly beaming. He would never believe that the silent young man is able to grin like that. His beloved touches his face, caresses his hair, squeezes his hand... Happy...
"How long...?" It still hurts to speak.
The green eyes cloud, the grip on his hand tightens. "Five days."
His eyes grow big. He slept for that long?
"They took you off the oxygen just today."
Ah, that´s why it still hurts. "You...?"
The light returns to the moss green pools. "Na, just a broken leg-" he pats the white cast "-and some cracked ribs. I was lucky."
He raises his right hand and Trowa moves closer. He touches the deep black bruise on his temple.
"Oh, that. Just a little concussion, nothing more," he assures with a crooked smile.
He lets his arm fall down on the bed again. It tires him out to move. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. The sharp pain is gone. There is only a deep ache in his side... where the... where the spike... He lifts his hand once again and touches the bandage through the thin hospital gown... That was close...
"They are giving you some strong painkillers," his beloved informs him. "They want to keep you here in the ICU for several days yet. You..." the voice breaks and he opens his eyes. "You almost died," the whisper is full of pain. Trowa brings the hand he is still gripping tightly to his lips and kisses it. "Please, don´t do that ever EVER again to me, okay?"
He smiles and blinks tiredly. "I will try," he promises and they both know that that´s the best he can do.
Trowa nods. "Okay."
He closes his eyes. He is getting tired again... and he hates it. But there is something...
His eyes snap open. "The others?" There is anguish in his voice.
"They are alive," Trowa hurries to assure him. "It took some time to get them out, but they are alive. Heero has broken ribs and a bad concussion. Wufei´s shoulder got dislocated, same as his hip. He will need some extensive physiotherapy before he will be back in shape. And Duo..."
He doesn´t like the pause at the end of the sentence...
"He got banged up pretty badly," Trowa continues slowly holding his eyes with his own. "There is some swelling around his spine. He can´t move his legs right now."
A quick intake of breath... NO... Duo, the most lively of them can´t...
Seeing the panic in his beloved´s eyes, Trowa scoots closer. "We don´t know how bad it is yet. The doctors said they will have to wait until the swelling goes down, but they are pretty optimistic."
He searches the green eyes... Trowa wouldn´t lie to him, right? Not even to make him feel better, right? Right... of course not...
He smiles. "Okay... If you say so..."
Trowa nods, the look in his eyes intense. "I do."
He shuts his eyes and tries to stifle a yawn, but doesn´t succeed. He is so tired suddenly... he hates to feel tired... Another yawn...
"It´s the medication, blue eyes," Trowa whispers and there is a smile in his voice.
Caress on his face... down his throat... hand stopping over his beating heart...
He is alive... they are alive... all of them... a little worse for wear, but alive...
"... a nap, 'kay...?" his voice slurs.
A chuckle... a kiss on his cheek. "Okay... I will be here when you wake up."
He smiles...
Happy...
Darkness...
The End
Post-EW, blood, angst ~ 3+4 ~ The end of war doesn´t mean the end of violence.
"Quatre..."
Darkness... pain... numbness...
"Quatre, please...."
Sirens in the distance... water dripping... someone screaming...
"Quatre...?"
Hand caressing his cheek... panic in the voice calling him...
"Wake up for me..."
Is he sleeping? Maybe...
"Please..."
The voice... Trowa´s?... it hitched. Is he crying? Trowa never cries...
"Please, love, please..."
He tries to open his eyes, but they are so heavy and he is so tired... maybe he will go back to sleep again...
"No... don´t leave me... open your eyes..."
He frowns and tries to press his cheek into the hand caressing it ever so lightly. Someone is moaning... in pain, not desire... who...?
"Shh, I know it hurts. But you have to wake up for me."
It´s him...? He´s the one who... PAIN!!! He screams, his throat dry and raw... He can´t move... Everything HURTS!!!
"Shhh, please... you mustn´t move... don´t move, Quatre. You are making it worse..".
Worse? How can anything be worse than THAT? He pries his eyes open, but his vision is blurry and everything is dim. "Tro..."
Something moves in his field of vision. "Yeah, yeah, it´s me, love!"
He can´t see properly. Something wet is running down his face and makes it difficult to see. He tries to lift his hand to check his face but he can´t... Why? Oh, Trowa is holding his hands in his, not allowing him to move... What...?
"There was a bomb..." the blurry shadow that´s Trowa whispers and he... he could swear that there are... tears running down the handsome face...
Bomb? Where... Oh Allah, nononononono... they were at WEI... it´s Friday... and all of them, all the pilots go to their weekly dinner together on Friday... they were...
"Where... the oth´rs...?" He tries to turn his head to look around but it hurts too much and he realizes that he is lying on something hard and cold and... wet? What...
"I don´t know where they are. Almost half of the building collapsed. I tried to call them but nobody responded," Trowa´s voice broke at the end.
They could be.... dead? NO, NONONONO. They didn´t survive the war only to... only to...
He coughs and it HURTS! It hurts so much that he almost passes out... his already dim vision grows even darker and there is something wet escaping his lips... running down his chin..
"Shhh, please... breathe, Quatre... just breathe, okay? They will be here soon. Une and Sally and... just... just breathe... please?"
He blinks a couple of times. Breath... it´s so hard to breath. It´s like someone is sitting on his chest. And then there is this sharp pain in his side... What...?
With much effort, he lifts up his head just a little to look down and... he screams and screams and screams....
... there is a sharp metal spike protruding from his stomach.... and his blood... his blood is coating everything in a vivid red color... himself... the debris... Trowa...
The banged boy scoots closer to him, letting go of his arms and catching his face in his hands. "Quatre, please... calm down... everything will be okay... I swear! I SWEAR!!! Have I ever lied to you?"
He looks up and locks his watering eyes with the desperate ones, glad that the numbing feeling is returning to his body... Maybe... maybe Trowa is right? He never lied to him... Maybe...
"You have to trust me, okay? Just stay calm and trust me. I will take care of everything... you just... breath.... just breath..."
Funny... he always knew that Trowa was beautiful... but he never realized how much... He has the most wonderful green eyes... you could drown in them... He looks like an angel...
He tells him so and the incredibly green eyes fill with tears... running down his face, they leave behind clear trails on the blood stained cheeks... Is Trowa... is he.... hurt? Please tell me he isn´t hurt!
"No, I´m okay. I had been worse back in the war. Don´t worry about me..."
There... the small smile that means the world to him graces his lips... and Trowa is okay.... He relaxes and there is more blood dripping from his lips... But it doesn´t hurt anymore...
It´s kinda... nice...
He sees the panic in the eyes of his beloved. The panic that turns into relief when there is some scratching noise somewhere to the left of them. There are voices and his green-eyed angel is shouting...
But he doesn´t understand anymore... everything grows kinda foggy... and he has the feeling as if he is flying... as if he is weightless...
His eyes start to close and he is so tired again... So very very tired... He´ll just take a nap, okay? Just a short nap...
"Quatre, help is here..."
The floating feeling is so nice... like sleeping on a cloud...
"Quatre?"
Trowa... he sounds... maybe he should... he is so incredibly tired...
Five minutes, okay Trowa? Five more minutes. Then I will get up and go to work...
"Don´t do this to me! QUATRE!!!"
Just five more minutes...
===
Darkness... pain... voices?
"... careful. Have to stabilize him first!"
"The injury is too grave we can´t..."
Darkness...
"... yeah. That´s it. Hold him still. We have to brace him before..."
Someone is moving him and there is PAIN!!! He screamsscreamsscreamsscreams....
Darkness...
Footsteps... someone is running... he is moving again... he tries to swallow, but... there is something in his throat! They pushed something down his throat and he can´t breathe! He tries to lift his arms to free his throat from the hard object that won´t allow him to breathe, but he can´t lift his arms... They are tied down... HELP! TROWA! help... tears running down his face...
"Shh, Quatre..." Someone is wiping off the droplets of salty water running down his cheeks. "Everything will be okay... just relax..."
Who...? Not Trowa... Who...?
Darkness...
Motor running... Sirens wailing... Something pushing air into his aching lungs... in and out... in and out... Where...? He opens his eyes just a little... they immediately fill with tears and he shuts them tightly... light too harsh... head HURTS!!!
"Quatre?"
His name...? Who...? He pries his eyes open just a fraction... Blurry vision again... A shadow looming over him...
"Quatre, it´s Sally..."
Sally... he would smile if he could... such a good friend...
The numbness is leaving again... PAIN!!! in his side.... HURTS!!! makes him sick... can´t breathe... he squeezes his eyes tightly... so much PAIN!!! TROWA... make it go away... PLEASE!!!
He moans... arches his back to escape the pain... something... someone is holding him down... pressing his shoulders into the stretcher...
"Quatre! You have to calm down! Calm down!"
It hurtshurtshurtshurtshurtshurts...
There is a prick on his arm...
Numbness... Trowa... trowa... tro...
Darkness...
Squeeking wheels... running feet... shouting voices...
"... prepare him. We have no time. He is bleeding internally. It´s bad. I will go and scrub in. HURRY!"
They are moving him again... he cracks his eyes open... the overhead lights are bright... so bright... they are driving spikes in his aching head...
"Hey..." there is a voice... so gentle... a shadow is looming over him again... "Everything will be okay. Doctor Sally is the best. She will take care of you..."
Smile... the shadow is smiling... a... nurse...? all in white... makes him think of angels... Duo´s angels... Duo... the... bomb! Duo, Heero, Wufei and Trowa... Trowa... he was there, wasn´t he? Promising to take care of everything... wasn´t he? WASN´T HE???
TROWA! he tries to scream, but there is only a moan... he can´t talk... the tube in his throat... but he has to find
Trowa... he has to find his beloved.... TROWA!!!
"Calm down, boy. Calm down! I need help here! He is convulsing!"
There is the prick again...
"Sleep now. Everything will be okay..."
One lonely tear escapes his tightly shut eyes... okay? okay...
Trowa...? Where are you...? Will everything be okay...?
Trowa... Beloved...
Darkness...
===
beep... beep... beep...
The awful sound annoys him... it won´t let him sleep... He frowns...
Intake of breath... squeaking of a chair... Hand touching his face carefully...
"Quatre?"
The frown deepens... it´s so hard to open his eyes... they seem like they are glued shut... There! White ceiling... white walls... Hospital? Dim light... and... a banged figure in a wheel chair...
"Trowa..." his voice cracks and breaks... his throat is raw and burning, but at least the annoying tube is gone. He licks his dry lips...
His beloved moves quickly and slips a couple of ice chips in his mouth and he sucks on them greedily, moaning in relief as the cold liquid soothes the ache in his throat.
"More?" Trowa asks and he nods. He is happy to see his lover clearly now... the blurry vision is gone...
There are more chips between his lips and he smiles just a little... and Trowa is... fairly beaming. He would never believe that the silent young man is able to grin like that. His beloved touches his face, caresses his hair, squeezes his hand... Happy...
"How long...?" It still hurts to speak.
The green eyes cloud, the grip on his hand tightens. "Five days."
His eyes grow big. He slept for that long?
"They took you off the oxygen just today."
Ah, that´s why it still hurts. "You...?"
The light returns to the moss green pools. "Na, just a broken leg-" he pats the white cast "-and some cracked ribs. I was lucky."
He raises his right hand and Trowa moves closer. He touches the deep black bruise on his temple.
"Oh, that. Just a little concussion, nothing more," he assures with a crooked smile.
He lets his arm fall down on the bed again. It tires him out to move. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. The sharp pain is gone. There is only a deep ache in his side... where the... where the spike... He lifts his hand once again and touches the bandage through the thin hospital gown... That was close...
"They are giving you some strong painkillers," his beloved informs him. "They want to keep you here in the ICU for several days yet. You..." the voice breaks and he opens his eyes. "You almost died," the whisper is full of pain. Trowa brings the hand he is still gripping tightly to his lips and kisses it. "Please, don´t do that ever EVER again to me, okay?"
He smiles and blinks tiredly. "I will try," he promises and they both know that that´s the best he can do.
Trowa nods. "Okay."
He closes his eyes. He is getting tired again... and he hates it. But there is something...
His eyes snap open. "The others?" There is anguish in his voice.
"They are alive," Trowa hurries to assure him. "It took some time to get them out, but they are alive. Heero has broken ribs and a bad concussion. Wufei´s shoulder got dislocated, same as his hip. He will need some extensive physiotherapy before he will be back in shape. And Duo..."
He doesn´t like the pause at the end of the sentence...
"He got banged up pretty badly," Trowa continues slowly holding his eyes with his own. "There is some swelling around his spine. He can´t move his legs right now."
A quick intake of breath... NO... Duo, the most lively of them can´t...
Seeing the panic in his beloved´s eyes, Trowa scoots closer. "We don´t know how bad it is yet. The doctors said they will have to wait until the swelling goes down, but they are pretty optimistic."
He searches the green eyes... Trowa wouldn´t lie to him, right? Not even to make him feel better, right? Right... of course not...
He smiles. "Okay... If you say so..."
Trowa nods, the look in his eyes intense. "I do."
He shuts his eyes and tries to stifle a yawn, but doesn´t succeed. He is so tired suddenly... he hates to feel tired... Another yawn...
"It´s the medication, blue eyes," Trowa whispers and there is a smile in his voice.
Caress on his face... down his throat... hand stopping over his beating heart...
He is alive... they are alive... all of them... a little worse for wear, but alive...
"... a nap, 'kay...?" his voice slurs.
A chuckle... a kiss on his cheek. "Okay... I will be here when you wake up."
He smiles...
Happy...
Darkness...
The End
