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(fic) The Walking Catastrophe Trilogy - Gundam Wing
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<div align=justify><i>First Dates Are Always the Worst</i>
Post-EW, Humor ~ 1+2 ~ Duo and Heero are on their first date. :)
<lj-cut text="Story..."><ring, ring>
Quatre frowned, snuggling into the covers.
<ring, ring>
"Mmmmmm," came the annoyed sound from under the covers.
<ring, ring>
"Okay! I´m up!" he shouted as he sat up in his lonely bed, once again longing to have the warm body of his lover next to him. But *nooo* Trowa just had to go and visit his sister this week.
<ring, ring>
The phone. Allah, he hoped it was important. Otherwise he would strangle the caller through the phone.
"WHAT!?" he shouted into the receiver.
"Quatre?"
The blond man frowned. "Heero?"
"..."
"What´s wrong? It´s..." he squinted at the shining green numbers on the clock standing on the table next to his bed "... 4 in the morning!"
"I know THAT," came the annoyed reply.
"Oh. So, what´s wrong? Didn´t you have a date with Duo last night?"
"We still ARE on the date." Heero´s usually impassive voice was gaining volume.
Quatre raised his eyebrows. "Well, then why are you calling me when you are on a date with Duo?"
"Because we need your help."
The blond man´s eyebrows climbed a notch higher. "Uh, I´m not THAT experienced, but of course I will..."
"Not THAT sort of help!"
"Oh, okay." There was some shouting in the background. He didn´t know where Heero was calling from, but it was pretty noisy. "Where are you, Heero?"
"At the police station."
"WHAT?!" That statement cleared Quatre´s sleep clouded mind immediately. "Why? I thought you were on a date!!"
"We are."
"Then why are you at the police station?" Quatre had the feeling that he missed the point of a really good joke.
"Duo was late."
The eyebrows climbed up again. "And that´s why you are..."
"No," Heero interrupted him. "I called Duo to ask what was wrong and he said that his car got stolen."
Aha. "And that´s why..."
"No." The interruption again. "I went to pick Duo up. He invited me up to his apartment."
"It´s really nice, isn´t it?" Quatre asked. He really liked Duo´s little loft in the ten story building. "The whole building is nice."
"We got stuck going down in the elevator. Power outage."
"Oh." Quatre sweatdropped. Not the best beginning to a first date.
"We had to wait half an hour before the power came on again."
"Well, that´s not too long..."
"Then the elevator broke down two floors later. Had to wait two hours for the repairman."
The blond Arabian sweatdropped once again. "Well, uhm," he didn´t know what to say. "But you got out and went on with the date," he stated.
There was some murmuring on the other side of the line and Quatre could swear he heard Heero say something like "Unfortunately".
"And?"
"I found out one of my tires was flat and had to change it."
Oh. "Uhm, that´s not so bad..."
"It started to rain."
Okay, so he was wrong. It was bad. "Umm, you could have taken a cab," he dared to offer.
"We had to do that in the end. The battery in the car was dead."
"Well, I think it was just bad luck."
"We got in a traffic jam downtown and sat in the damn cab for 45 minutes."
Quatre really didn´t know what to say to that. "And after that?" He had the feeling he shouldn´t have asked.
"We got in an accident and had to wait for the police."
"Oh Allah, are you alright?" he exclaimed in horror.
"Yes, but they gave away our reserved places in the restaurant since we came almost 4 hours too late."
"And what did you do?" Please not another catastrophe.
"Ate burgers at MacBurger."
Quatre smiled. "Well, that´s good. Duo really likes fast food."
"There was a robbery in progress at the Burger place."
Quatre gulped. "What did you do?"
"We got rid of the robbers. They were amateurs," came the flat answer.
"Ah, and that´s why you are at the police station."
"No. The police let us go after doing the paper work. We got even free burgers from the owner of the place."
"See? Something good came out of this," the blond man said reassuringly.
"Duo got sick because of them and he spent the next hour throwing up in the toilet."
"Ah." Quatre sweatdropped once again.
"We decided it was to better go home before something else happened."
That was a wise decision, Quatre decided but kept his mouth shut.
"We got robbed while waiting for a cab."
Quatre really didn´t know what he should do - roll his eyes, feel sorry for them or laugh like crazy.
"I caught the thief and called the police - once again. Strangely the same pair of cops came. I don´t know why but they looked strangely at us."
Heero didn´t know why? Maybe for him it was a normal thing to spend a Saturday night helping the cops to raise the percentage of solved cases.
"It stopped raining, so we decided to take a short walk. We found Duo´s stolen car in one of the back streets downtown."
"Hey, that´s good. Duo really likes that black bug." Quatre was really happy for him. "But you still didn´t tell me how you ended up at the police station," the blond man reminded him.
He could almost hear Heero grit his teeth. "We got arrested for car theft."
"WHAT?!" He couldn´t believe that. NOBODY has that much bad luck on their first date, or so he thought until then.
"Our favourite pair of cops caught us riding in Duo´s car and since it was still registered as stolen, they arrested us. They were really disappointed in us."
Quatre couldn´t help it, he just burst out laughing. He was wailing with laughter and hitting the pillow next to him. To be arrested for stealing his own car. Hearing Heero´s response, or the lack of it, he knew that it was a really bad idea to laugh right now but he just couldn´t help it.
After he quieted finally, he mumbled a "sorry" to the patiently waiting Heero. "And what can I do for you?"
"You could come down here and pay the bail for us. I don´t know why but they think we could pose a danger to society," came the totally disgusted answer that caused Quatre to fall over laughing once again. Trowa would never believe THIS!
The End</lj-cut>
<i>Second Dates Are Just as Bad</i>
Post-EW, Humor ~ 1+2 ~ The second date doesn´t go well either. :)
<lj-cut text="Story...">"I´m so happy that you agreed to try again, Heero," Duo smiled at the young Japanese man who was driving the car. "I promise you that everything will go smoothly this time. No problems, no catastrophes. You'll see."
Heero muttered something under his breath. "So, where are we going?" he asked as he stopped at the red light.
"Oh, I just have to drop a check at my bank and then I´m free the whole afternoon," Duo beamed at him.
Heero stiffened hearing the word ´bank´. Banks meant lots of money, meant bad guys with guns, meant trouble for them. "Duo, can´t it wait? I mean..."
The longhaired young man sighed. "Unfortunately no. I have to pay my bills and if there is nothing in my bank account by tomorrow I´ll be in big trouble."
"So, where now?"
Duo described the way to his bank - a small bank institute in the suburbs.
"Why can´t you have your account at one of the big banks here downtown?" Heero asked with irritation as the light turned green. Why did Duo always have to do everything the hard, complicated way?
Duo smiled. "Because they are very friendly and their institute hasn´t been robbed in almost 27 years."
Heero rolled his eyes. Why did he have the feeling that with a client like Duo - who tended to attract trouble no mattter where he went - this would change pretty soon?
"We are here," Heero said twenty minutes later as he parked his car in front of the bank. They were lucky to get a parking place this close. Maybe it was a good sign?
Duo opened the passenger door, and taking his backpack with him, got out. "I won´t be long," he promised. Before Heero could say anything, he closed the door with a bang and rushed up the stairs to the entrance of the bank.
Heero sighed, his fingers drumming on his jeans clad thighs. He must be crazy to agree to a date with Duo after what happened the last time. He shook his head. Okay, lightning didn´t strike twice in the same place and Duo just **couldn´t** be that much of a trouble maker.
The sentence wasn´t even finished in his head when he saw three men clad in black with ski masks on their faces sneak their way around the building and then dash up the stairs the same way Duo did just a couple of minutes ago.
A brief flicker of concern crossed his mind before it mixed with anger. Raging fury clouded his mind as he threw the driver´s door open and jumped out of the car.
"You!" he caught a small skinny looking guy who was passing him in this very moment.
"Huh?" the guy looked at him with confusion and seeing the fury on his face he jumped up with a squeak. "What do you want? I have nothing..."
Heero thrust his cell phone in the guy´s hand. "Call the cops. There is a robbery in progress at this bank." When the guy just blinked at him stupidly, Heero shouted: "NOW!"
Leaving the guy standing on the side walk, Heero raced up the stairs and without waiting a moment or even checking the situation, he threw open the heavy wooden door that was the entrance into the bank and waltzed in.
"DUO!" he shouted heading to his braided date who was now lying face down on the black and white checkered tiles of the floor. "You promised that nothing like this would happen this time!"
The three bank robbers looked at him stupidly and that was the moment of distraction Heero needed to take one down with a fast kick in the head, catching his gun before it could hit the floor and shooting the other - who was standing on the counter - in the leg so that he dropped to the floor like a sack of potatotes and getting close enough to the other to kick his legs from under him with a long sweep and finishing him off with a fist in his face. It was over in a
matter of seconds.
"Get up," he shouted when the hostages didn´t move from their position on the floor. "I´m a Preventer!" He showed them his badge.
Duo jumped to his feet, hoisting his backpack on his shoulder and grinning like an idiot. "Heero! That was incredible! Yay! I knew you were good, but this..."
Heero fumed. He just turned around and headed to the door.
"Heero?! Where are you going?" Duo cried out and ran after him.
"I´m not talking to you!" The Japanese man snapped at him. ´Like the last time. Just like the last time!´
Duo hopped to match Heero´s long strides. "This wasn´t my fault. This bank has always been safe!"
"Yeah, but they didn´t have you as a client!" Heero threw open the door only to find a dozen of cops pointing their guns in his face. "Where have you been?!?!" he shouted at them and shoved his badge into their shocked faces. "Heero Yuy, Preventers! The suspects are down. **Please**, don´t lose them! I will give you my statement later."
He then turned to the right only to be stopped by two cops in uniforms. "Hey, aren´t you..."
"NO!" Heero snapped, recognizing the two cops - "their" cops as Duo dubbed them - from his last date.
"Umm, sorry, guys," Duo apoligized nervously to the confused cops. "He is... uh... a little nervous. Didn´t have sex for too long obviously." He grinned at them again, the grin fading into an embarassed cough before he turned to follow Heero only to smash against his back. "Oi, Heero!" he exclaimed rubbing his nose. When Heero didn´t answer or move, Duo poked him in the back. "What´s wrong?" When his date still didn´t answer, he peeked over his shoulder to see what he was looking at.
And had to swallow nervously. The cops were towing Heero´s porsche away. The yellow truck was just disappearing around the corner at the end of the street.
"Ah... uh... Well, you should have paid for the parking place. That´s why there are parking meters, you know..." he trailed off as Heero turned to him. Duo had never seen anybody looking that red in the face. He feared that Heero would have a stroke if he didn´t calm down. "Uh... Heero..." Duo could swear that he actually saw the steam escaping from Heero´s ears. "Well, you can call a taxi. Then we will go and..."
"Can´t," Heero answered, gritting his teeth.
Duo furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why not?"
"I loaned my cell phone to some guy to call the cops. And he obviously disappeared with it!"
"You loaned... Well, that wasn´t the smartest thing to do. You should never loan..." he trailed off again, seeing the shade of red on Heero´s face grow darker. Duo fingered the strap of his backpack looking unsure. "Uh... and what now?"
"You go and deposit the check. I´m going home!" With that, he turned around and headed down the stairs.
"Wait! Heero!" Duo raced after him. "I have my cell phone. I can call us a taxi and..."
"No taxi. I still remember our last ride in it."
Okay, Duo remembered it too. The accident, the long waiting... Yeah, their last - uh, first date wasn´t the best. Okay,, it was terrible, but their second date couldn´t end in the same way.
"We can take a bus, Heero. There's a bus stop just down the street and..."
"No! Nothing with tires that can go flat or engines that can break down."
Duo hopped again to catch up with Heero. "So, what do you want to do, walk all the way back?"
"Yes!"
In that very moment, the first rain drops started to fall from the heavy clouds. In a matter of seconds the heavens opened and heavy rain covered everything in a grey veil.
Immediately when the first rain drop hit him, Duo pulled a small umbrella out of his backpack and skipping around Heero he tried to cover him too as best he could.
"Heero! We have to find a shelter."
Heero didn´t react.
"See? There is a small café," Duo pointed down the street. "We could..."
Heero stopped. "NO! I´m not going with you anywhere. You constantly attract catastrophes. And what´s worse I think that it´s infectious!"
"But, Heero..." Duo whined.
Heero backed away from him. "NO! I ended up in the middle of a robbery," he counted on his fingers, the rain soaking him wet. "My car got towed, some skinny four eyes stole my cell phone and I´m wet as a rat!" he ranted.
The moment he closed his mouth, a bus passed them, hitting a large puddle in the street and coating Heero - and only Heero - in mud. The Japanese Preventer blinked and then blinked again, staring at Duo - who was now clinging desperately to his umbrella fearing for his life - as if he was from another world.
"Heero...?" Duo whispered a couple of minutes later, when the other man still didn´t move or say anything.
Heero blinked again and then shook his head like a wet dog. When he looked at Duo again he had a strange look in his eyes. If Duo should name it, it would be... wonder?
"Duo?"
"... yeah...?"
"I will pick you up tomorrow at seven. We will go to dinner at Giorgio´s. Be ready, okay?" he said, his voice completely calm, the rage, anger and fury gone as if they´d never been there.
Duo was in shock. Did that mean that Heero wanted to try again? "You mean... you mean as a... a date?" Duo asked hesitantly.
"Yeah."
"Oh... okay," he answered, still not able to believe it. "Should I call you a taxi?" he offered.
Heero shook his head. "No need. I will walk." With that he turned around - the expression of wonder still on his face - and started to walk again, leaving his confused date standing there.
"Uh, Heero?" Duo called out.
The Japanese man turned around. "Yeah?"
"Uh... why?"
Heero smiled. He actually **smiled** Duo realized. "Third time is the charm," he said.
Duo blinked as Heero disappeared in the rain. Well... that was odd... but nice. Duo grinned - he had a date!
The End</lj-cut>
<i>Third Time Is the Charm</i>
Post-EW, Humor, Sap ~ 1+2 ~ Finally - a "happy end".
<lj-cut text="Story...">When the door bell rang Duo was ready. He took a deep breath before he opened the door of his apartment. He wouldn´t admit it but he was a little bit nervous about today´s date. After what happened the last two times... But on the other hand - it couldn´t get worse, could it?
"Heero!" he beamed, happy that his date truly came.
Heero smiled - Duo´s breath caught in his throat. He smiled! "Ready?"
"Yeah," the longhaired man nodded and threw his everpresent backpack over his right shoulder before stepping out of the door and locking it. He then turned to Heero only to find him walking down the corridor to the right already. "Uh, Heero... The lifts are in the other direction," he called after him.
"We are taking the stairs," the Japanese man answered without looking back.
Duo blinked a couple of times before mumbling "okay" under his breath and taking off after his date. It only took them two minutes to walk down the eight floors and Duo found himself covertly watching his companion. Heero - dressed in faded jeans and simplet-shirt which was quite a difference from his usual designer slacks and silk shirt that he started to wear after he joined Preventers and actually started to earn money - seemed... relaxed, maybe even happy. Not that Duo wasn´t happy that Heero was happy to be with him, but... he had a weird feeling about this whole thing. Heero wouldn´t sink low enough to invite him to a date only to make fun of him, right? Right?
When they finally reached the ground floor Duo couldn´t hold back any longer and just had to ask: "Why are you so damn happy, Heero? After the last two times I would expect you to come in a bullet proof vest and double your insurance policy!"
Heero just smiled - Duo had the feeling that his heart would burst from his chest - and held the entrance door open for Duo. "I´m just happy to be with you. That´s all."
´*That´s all* my ass,´ Duo thought to himself. ´If that´s all I will shave my head.´
He went out through the door Heero held open for him only to freeze in mid-step. "Heero? What´s THAT?" he asked pointing a finger at the old, patched together sedan waiting for them in the parking lot. It had to be Heero´s since there was no other car in sight. "You still don´t have your car back from the cops?"
"No, I have it at home. I bought this one specially for today´s date," the blue eyed boy answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Do you like it?"
Duo gulped. Was Heero serious? "Well, it... it has... style." Duo scratched his head. He was just curious what was keeping the...vehicle from falling apart. Was this a part of some sort of twisted revenge on Heero´s part?
Heero smiled that charming smile again and started to walk down the stairs to the parking lot. "I knew you would like the idea."
´Idea? There is some idea behind it?´ Duo thought to himself in confusion. ´Well, if there was he apparently missed it.´ Hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulder, he rushed after Heero who was already checking the tires.
"They are okay," he said with amazement.
Duo grinned. No flat tires. That had to be a sign.
Heero got into the car and unlocked the passenger door. Duo opened it, every hair on his body raising at the screeching sound the door made. He got in and shut the door quickly with a bang. Laying the backpack on his knees - and mentally crossing his fingers - he waited for Heero to start the engine. With some hiccups it finally started up and Duo grinned again. Everything was still going okay.
"Seatbelt, Duo!" Heero reminded him as he checked the road four times before backing out of the parking place.
Obediently Duo put the belt on and the next twenty minutes before they reached the restaurant he occupied himself with Heero-watching. He had to smile seeing him double check if they were free to go on each and every intersection they passed through on their way. Duo had never seen Heero being this careful. Not even during the wars when they were on missions.
When they safely reached their destination and even found a parking place just opposite the restaurant they couldn´t even believe their luck held this long. They smiled at each other. So far so good. They got out of the car and after double checking the street again they quickly crossed it and walked into the dimly lit restaurant. It was already dark outside and the candles on the tables kept the atmosphere pretty intimate there.
The host greeted them. "Would you like a table on the terrace?" he asked politely.
"NO!" they both shouted at the same time before smiling at each other in embarassement.
The host just raised his eyebrows and kept his comments to himself. He then led them to a table for two near a big window from where they could overlook the bay. Giorgio´s was one of the best seafood restaurants in town.
They sat down and after they ordered plain water the host left them alone. They opened their menus and smiled at each other over the tops. On neither date did they come so far without something disastrous happening to them. Maybe they finally broke through their bad luck?
As soon as the thought popped up in their minds, a young waitress who was bringing them their water tripped on the carpet and spilled everything all over Heero.
Duo cringed. Oh God... Now he would get an ear full. But what happened next shocked him totally.
Heero smiled at the waitress that was apologizing to him over and over again and trying to dry his wet shirt with a paper napkin."It´s okay, no harm done. It was just water."
Duo knew he had to look pretty dumb sitting there with his mouth hanging open like a dead fish but he couldn´t help himself. Who was this stranger and what did he do to his Heero?!
When Heero was finally able to calm the waitress down they ordered some seafood salad without dressing, no soup and *bottled*water.
When they were alone again, Duo propped his head on his hand and looked searchingly at Heero. "You're not mad at all," he stated after a moment, his voice full of surprise.
Heero smiled again - God, Duo had never seen Heero smile that much in the whole time they´d known each other. "No, I´m not."
Duo frowned. "Why?"
Before Heero could answer their waitress returned laying their salads in front of them. She smiled nervously and turned to leave when Heero stopped her.
"The water?" he asked pointing at his empty glass.
The girl jumped, getting the ´deer in the headlights´ look for a moment before she rushed off.
"I think you scared her, Heero." Duo stated as he dug into his salad. He was so hungry already.
Heero opened his mouth to speak, his fork raised to dug into the fresh green leaf of salad that was nicely covering his seafood mix when he stopped and turned the leaf over, his eyebrows raised. Duo followed his gaze to see what... and gulped.
"The water," the breathless waitress said to them as she put the two bottles down on their table.
"Thank you," Heero answered - Duo still in too much of a shock to even make a sound. "Uhm," the Japanese man stopped the waitress from leaving again. "I know I ordered a seafood salad but shouldn´t all the animals in it be at least dead?" he asked pointing at the small slug that was happily munching on his leaf of salad.
From that moment their date went to hell.
The waitress started to cry, almost on the verge of hysterics. A gust of wind knocked the candle on their table over. Their tablecloth caught fire and before they could extinguish it, the overhead sprinklers turned on, bathing them in a shower of cold water. The people started to scream and yell running out of the restaurant as if the devil was after them. And then - if that wasn´t enough - there was a big crash outside, accompanied by the sound of metal bending and creaking.
Duo gulped.
"I bet that that was our car," Heero said, sounding completely stoic even though he just found a slug in his dinner, the tablecloth caught fire, water was dripping from every part of his body and he probably just lost his car.
The overhead sprinklers finally stopped, leaving them sitting alone in puddles of water, the dripping the only sound in the otherwise completely silent room.
Duo sat in his seat, wet to the bone but not even noticing it. He was nervously shredding a piece of wet paper napkin. He wasn´t brave enough to meet Heero´s eyes. Patient or not - that was just too much even for this new, changed Heero.
"I think I will just ask them to pack us some tuna sandwiches," Heero stated, breaking the silence.
"Uh... Heero... are you... are you mad?" Duo asked in a small voice. Logically he knew that this wasn´t his fault but...
"Duo, look at me," Heero requested gently. Reaching over the table he put the fingers of his left hand under Duo´s chin and lifted it up. Duo blinked at him and sniffled. "I´m not mad," he smiled.
Duo blinked again - in shock this time. "What...?"
"Why do you think we took the stairs at your apartment house? Why do you think we came in that wreck of a car? Why do you think I´m dressed in jeans that you know I don´t like?" he asked.
Duo blinked again. He didn´t understand anything.
Heero smiled. "I suspected something like this might happen. Who wouldn´t after the last two times?" That brought a small smile to Duo´s lips. "And you know what? I still came because I wanted to be with you. I finally understood it yesterday. None of this matters because I love you, my Walking Catastrophe." He caressed Duo´s cheek with his thumb.
Duo sniffled, tears of happiness filling his eyes. "You do?"
"Yeah."
"That´s... that´s good, because you see... I love you too and..."
Heero got up and leaned over the table, catching Duo´s lips with his own, efficiently silencing the upcoming rant. And Duo was sweet and warm and smelled like rain which made Heero smile. Only Duo could smell like rain sitting inside of a building, with no clouds in the sky.
When they finally parted, Duo licked his lips. "Wow. That was like... Wow."
Heero laughed. Miracles still happened. Duo was speechless. "We should go now, huh?"
Duo nodded happily and started to get up from his seat. But then he stopped. "But if that crash was our car... how will we get home?"
Heero moved around the table and helped Duo get up from his seat, wrapping one hand around his waist as they walked slowly to the entrance. "Don´t worry about that. Before coming for you I asked Trowa to pick us up. I somehow had the feeling that we wouldn´t get around to actually eat our dinner." He looked at his - thankfully waterproof - watch. "He should be here any minute."
Duo laughed. "You really thought of everything."
They went out into the warm summer night. People were standing around arguing and yelling at each other and the restaurant manager. They looked at them oddly when they walked past them, dripping water but smiling like idiots. They must have thought they were nuts.
"Yep, our car," commented Duo when they stopped at the twisted piece of metal lying under the torn up telephone pole. Seeing the long piece of metal and wood that almost cut their car in two, they looked at it, then at each other and shrugged. Nothing would surprise them anymore.
That was when a car stopped behind them and honked. They turned around to find Trowa and Quatre getting out looking in shock first at the crowd, then at them and finally at the thing that once had been a car.
"Uhm... did you enjoy yourself tonight?" asked Quatre finally with his eyebrows raised.
Heero and Duo grinned at each other.
"The evening couldn´t have been better," Duo answered before leaning into Heero and kissing him soundly.
The End</lj-cut></div>
Post-EW, Humor ~ 1+2 ~ Duo and Heero are on their first date. :)
<lj-cut text="Story..."><ring, ring>
Quatre frowned, snuggling into the covers.
<ring, ring>
"Mmmmmm," came the annoyed sound from under the covers.
<ring, ring>
"Okay! I´m up!" he shouted as he sat up in his lonely bed, once again longing to have the warm body of his lover next to him. But *nooo* Trowa just had to go and visit his sister this week.
<ring, ring>
The phone. Allah, he hoped it was important. Otherwise he would strangle the caller through the phone.
"WHAT!?" he shouted into the receiver.
"Quatre?"
The blond man frowned. "Heero?"
"..."
"What´s wrong? It´s..." he squinted at the shining green numbers on the clock standing on the table next to his bed "... 4 in the morning!"
"I know THAT," came the annoyed reply.
"Oh. So, what´s wrong? Didn´t you have a date with Duo last night?"
"We still ARE on the date." Heero´s usually impassive voice was gaining volume.
Quatre raised his eyebrows. "Well, then why are you calling me when you are on a date with Duo?"
"Because we need your help."
The blond man´s eyebrows climbed a notch higher. "Uh, I´m not THAT experienced, but of course I will..."
"Not THAT sort of help!"
"Oh, okay." There was some shouting in the background. He didn´t know where Heero was calling from, but it was pretty noisy. "Where are you, Heero?"
"At the police station."
"WHAT?!" That statement cleared Quatre´s sleep clouded mind immediately. "Why? I thought you were on a date!!"
"We are."
"Then why are you at the police station?" Quatre had the feeling that he missed the point of a really good joke.
"Duo was late."
The eyebrows climbed up again. "And that´s why you are..."
"No," Heero interrupted him. "I called Duo to ask what was wrong and he said that his car got stolen."
Aha. "And that´s why..."
"No." The interruption again. "I went to pick Duo up. He invited me up to his apartment."
"It´s really nice, isn´t it?" Quatre asked. He really liked Duo´s little loft in the ten story building. "The whole building is nice."
"We got stuck going down in the elevator. Power outage."
"Oh." Quatre sweatdropped. Not the best beginning to a first date.
"We had to wait half an hour before the power came on again."
"Well, that´s not too long..."
"Then the elevator broke down two floors later. Had to wait two hours for the repairman."
The blond Arabian sweatdropped once again. "Well, uhm," he didn´t know what to say. "But you got out and went on with the date," he stated.
There was some murmuring on the other side of the line and Quatre could swear he heard Heero say something like "Unfortunately".
"And?"
"I found out one of my tires was flat and had to change it."
Oh. "Uhm, that´s not so bad..."
"It started to rain."
Okay, so he was wrong. It was bad. "Umm, you could have taken a cab," he dared to offer.
"We had to do that in the end. The battery in the car was dead."
"Well, I think it was just bad luck."
"We got in a traffic jam downtown and sat in the damn cab for 45 minutes."
Quatre really didn´t know what to say to that. "And after that?" He had the feeling he shouldn´t have asked.
"We got in an accident and had to wait for the police."
"Oh Allah, are you alright?" he exclaimed in horror.
"Yes, but they gave away our reserved places in the restaurant since we came almost 4 hours too late."
"And what did you do?" Please not another catastrophe.
"Ate burgers at MacBurger."
Quatre smiled. "Well, that´s good. Duo really likes fast food."
"There was a robbery in progress at the Burger place."
Quatre gulped. "What did you do?"
"We got rid of the robbers. They were amateurs," came the flat answer.
"Ah, and that´s why you are at the police station."
"No. The police let us go after doing the paper work. We got even free burgers from the owner of the place."
"See? Something good came out of this," the blond man said reassuringly.
"Duo got sick because of them and he spent the next hour throwing up in the toilet."
"Ah." Quatre sweatdropped once again.
"We decided it was to better go home before something else happened."
That was a wise decision, Quatre decided but kept his mouth shut.
"We got robbed while waiting for a cab."
Quatre really didn´t know what he should do - roll his eyes, feel sorry for them or laugh like crazy.
"I caught the thief and called the police - once again. Strangely the same pair of cops came. I don´t know why but they looked strangely at us."
Heero didn´t know why? Maybe for him it was a normal thing to spend a Saturday night helping the cops to raise the percentage of solved cases.
"It stopped raining, so we decided to take a short walk. We found Duo´s stolen car in one of the back streets downtown."
"Hey, that´s good. Duo really likes that black bug." Quatre was really happy for him. "But you still didn´t tell me how you ended up at the police station," the blond man reminded him.
He could almost hear Heero grit his teeth. "We got arrested for car theft."
"WHAT?!" He couldn´t believe that. NOBODY has that much bad luck on their first date, or so he thought until then.
"Our favourite pair of cops caught us riding in Duo´s car and since it was still registered as stolen, they arrested us. They were really disappointed in us."
Quatre couldn´t help it, he just burst out laughing. He was wailing with laughter and hitting the pillow next to him. To be arrested for stealing his own car. Hearing Heero´s response, or the lack of it, he knew that it was a really bad idea to laugh right now but he just couldn´t help it.
After he quieted finally, he mumbled a "sorry" to the patiently waiting Heero. "And what can I do for you?"
"You could come down here and pay the bail for us. I don´t know why but they think we could pose a danger to society," came the totally disgusted answer that caused Quatre to fall over laughing once again. Trowa would never believe THIS!
The End</lj-cut>
<i>Second Dates Are Just as Bad</i>
Post-EW, Humor ~ 1+2 ~ The second date doesn´t go well either. :)
<lj-cut text="Story...">"I´m so happy that you agreed to try again, Heero," Duo smiled at the young Japanese man who was driving the car. "I promise you that everything will go smoothly this time. No problems, no catastrophes. You'll see."
Heero muttered something under his breath. "So, where are we going?" he asked as he stopped at the red light.
"Oh, I just have to drop a check at my bank and then I´m free the whole afternoon," Duo beamed at him.
Heero stiffened hearing the word ´bank´. Banks meant lots of money, meant bad guys with guns, meant trouble for them. "Duo, can´t it wait? I mean..."
The longhaired young man sighed. "Unfortunately no. I have to pay my bills and if there is nothing in my bank account by tomorrow I´ll be in big trouble."
"So, where now?"
Duo described the way to his bank - a small bank institute in the suburbs.
"Why can´t you have your account at one of the big banks here downtown?" Heero asked with irritation as the light turned green. Why did Duo always have to do everything the hard, complicated way?
Duo smiled. "Because they are very friendly and their institute hasn´t been robbed in almost 27 years."
Heero rolled his eyes. Why did he have the feeling that with a client like Duo - who tended to attract trouble no mattter where he went - this would change pretty soon?
"We are here," Heero said twenty minutes later as he parked his car in front of the bank. They were lucky to get a parking place this close. Maybe it was a good sign?
Duo opened the passenger door, and taking his backpack with him, got out. "I won´t be long," he promised. Before Heero could say anything, he closed the door with a bang and rushed up the stairs to the entrance of the bank.
Heero sighed, his fingers drumming on his jeans clad thighs. He must be crazy to agree to a date with Duo after what happened the last time. He shook his head. Okay, lightning didn´t strike twice in the same place and Duo just **couldn´t** be that much of a trouble maker.
The sentence wasn´t even finished in his head when he saw three men clad in black with ski masks on their faces sneak their way around the building and then dash up the stairs the same way Duo did just a couple of minutes ago.
A brief flicker of concern crossed his mind before it mixed with anger. Raging fury clouded his mind as he threw the driver´s door open and jumped out of the car.
"You!" he caught a small skinny looking guy who was passing him in this very moment.
"Huh?" the guy looked at him with confusion and seeing the fury on his face he jumped up with a squeak. "What do you want? I have nothing..."
Heero thrust his cell phone in the guy´s hand. "Call the cops. There is a robbery in progress at this bank." When the guy just blinked at him stupidly, Heero shouted: "NOW!"
Leaving the guy standing on the side walk, Heero raced up the stairs and without waiting a moment or even checking the situation, he threw open the heavy wooden door that was the entrance into the bank and waltzed in.
"DUO!" he shouted heading to his braided date who was now lying face down on the black and white checkered tiles of the floor. "You promised that nothing like this would happen this time!"
The three bank robbers looked at him stupidly and that was the moment of distraction Heero needed to take one down with a fast kick in the head, catching his gun before it could hit the floor and shooting the other - who was standing on the counter - in the leg so that he dropped to the floor like a sack of potatotes and getting close enough to the other to kick his legs from under him with a long sweep and finishing him off with a fist in his face. It was over in a
matter of seconds.
"Get up," he shouted when the hostages didn´t move from their position on the floor. "I´m a Preventer!" He showed them his badge.
Duo jumped to his feet, hoisting his backpack on his shoulder and grinning like an idiot. "Heero! That was incredible! Yay! I knew you were good, but this..."
Heero fumed. He just turned around and headed to the door.
"Heero?! Where are you going?" Duo cried out and ran after him.
"I´m not talking to you!" The Japanese man snapped at him. ´Like the last time. Just like the last time!´
Duo hopped to match Heero´s long strides. "This wasn´t my fault. This bank has always been safe!"
"Yeah, but they didn´t have you as a client!" Heero threw open the door only to find a dozen of cops pointing their guns in his face. "Where have you been?!?!" he shouted at them and shoved his badge into their shocked faces. "Heero Yuy, Preventers! The suspects are down. **Please**, don´t lose them! I will give you my statement later."
He then turned to the right only to be stopped by two cops in uniforms. "Hey, aren´t you..."
"NO!" Heero snapped, recognizing the two cops - "their" cops as Duo dubbed them - from his last date.
"Umm, sorry, guys," Duo apoligized nervously to the confused cops. "He is... uh... a little nervous. Didn´t have sex for too long obviously." He grinned at them again, the grin fading into an embarassed cough before he turned to follow Heero only to smash against his back. "Oi, Heero!" he exclaimed rubbing his nose. When Heero didn´t answer or move, Duo poked him in the back. "What´s wrong?" When his date still didn´t answer, he peeked over his shoulder to see what he was looking at.
And had to swallow nervously. The cops were towing Heero´s porsche away. The yellow truck was just disappearing around the corner at the end of the street.
"Ah... uh... Well, you should have paid for the parking place. That´s why there are parking meters, you know..." he trailed off as Heero turned to him. Duo had never seen anybody looking that red in the face. He feared that Heero would have a stroke if he didn´t calm down. "Uh... Heero..." Duo could swear that he actually saw the steam escaping from Heero´s ears. "Well, you can call a taxi. Then we will go and..."
"Can´t," Heero answered, gritting his teeth.
Duo furrowed his brows in confusion. "Why not?"
"I loaned my cell phone to some guy to call the cops. And he obviously disappeared with it!"
"You loaned... Well, that wasn´t the smartest thing to do. You should never loan..." he trailed off again, seeing the shade of red on Heero´s face grow darker. Duo fingered the strap of his backpack looking unsure. "Uh... and what now?"
"You go and deposit the check. I´m going home!" With that, he turned around and headed down the stairs.
"Wait! Heero!" Duo raced after him. "I have my cell phone. I can call us a taxi and..."
"No taxi. I still remember our last ride in it."
Okay, Duo remembered it too. The accident, the long waiting... Yeah, their last - uh, first date wasn´t the best. Okay,, it was terrible, but their second date couldn´t end in the same way.
"We can take a bus, Heero. There's a bus stop just down the street and..."
"No! Nothing with tires that can go flat or engines that can break down."
Duo hopped again to catch up with Heero. "So, what do you want to do, walk all the way back?"
"Yes!"
In that very moment, the first rain drops started to fall from the heavy clouds. In a matter of seconds the heavens opened and heavy rain covered everything in a grey veil.
Immediately when the first rain drop hit him, Duo pulled a small umbrella out of his backpack and skipping around Heero he tried to cover him too as best he could.
"Heero! We have to find a shelter."
Heero didn´t react.
"See? There is a small café," Duo pointed down the street. "We could..."
Heero stopped. "NO! I´m not going with you anywhere. You constantly attract catastrophes. And what´s worse I think that it´s infectious!"
"But, Heero..." Duo whined.
Heero backed away from him. "NO! I ended up in the middle of a robbery," he counted on his fingers, the rain soaking him wet. "My car got towed, some skinny four eyes stole my cell phone and I´m wet as a rat!" he ranted.
The moment he closed his mouth, a bus passed them, hitting a large puddle in the street and coating Heero - and only Heero - in mud. The Japanese Preventer blinked and then blinked again, staring at Duo - who was now clinging desperately to his umbrella fearing for his life - as if he was from another world.
"Heero...?" Duo whispered a couple of minutes later, when the other man still didn´t move or say anything.
Heero blinked again and then shook his head like a wet dog. When he looked at Duo again he had a strange look in his eyes. If Duo should name it, it would be... wonder?
"Duo?"
"... yeah...?"
"I will pick you up tomorrow at seven. We will go to dinner at Giorgio´s. Be ready, okay?" he said, his voice completely calm, the rage, anger and fury gone as if they´d never been there.
Duo was in shock. Did that mean that Heero wanted to try again? "You mean... you mean as a... a date?" Duo asked hesitantly.
"Yeah."
"Oh... okay," he answered, still not able to believe it. "Should I call you a taxi?" he offered.
Heero shook his head. "No need. I will walk." With that he turned around - the expression of wonder still on his face - and started to walk again, leaving his confused date standing there.
"Uh, Heero?" Duo called out.
The Japanese man turned around. "Yeah?"
"Uh... why?"
Heero smiled. He actually **smiled** Duo realized. "Third time is the charm," he said.
Duo blinked as Heero disappeared in the rain. Well... that was odd... but nice. Duo grinned - he had a date!
The End</lj-cut>
<i>Third Time Is the Charm</i>
Post-EW, Humor, Sap ~ 1+2 ~ Finally - a "happy end".
<lj-cut text="Story...">When the door bell rang Duo was ready. He took a deep breath before he opened the door of his apartment. He wouldn´t admit it but he was a little bit nervous about today´s date. After what happened the last two times... But on the other hand - it couldn´t get worse, could it?
"Heero!" he beamed, happy that his date truly came.
Heero smiled - Duo´s breath caught in his throat. He smiled! "Ready?"
"Yeah," the longhaired man nodded and threw his everpresent backpack over his right shoulder before stepping out of the door and locking it. He then turned to Heero only to find him walking down the corridor to the right already. "Uh, Heero... The lifts are in the other direction," he called after him.
"We are taking the stairs," the Japanese man answered without looking back.
Duo blinked a couple of times before mumbling "okay" under his breath and taking off after his date. It only took them two minutes to walk down the eight floors and Duo found himself covertly watching his companion. Heero - dressed in faded jeans and simplet-shirt which was quite a difference from his usual designer slacks and silk shirt that he started to wear after he joined Preventers and actually started to earn money - seemed... relaxed, maybe even happy. Not that Duo wasn´t happy that Heero was happy to be with him, but... he had a weird feeling about this whole thing. Heero wouldn´t sink low enough to invite him to a date only to make fun of him, right? Right?
When they finally reached the ground floor Duo couldn´t hold back any longer and just had to ask: "Why are you so damn happy, Heero? After the last two times I would expect you to come in a bullet proof vest and double your insurance policy!"
Heero just smiled - Duo had the feeling that his heart would burst from his chest - and held the entrance door open for Duo. "I´m just happy to be with you. That´s all."
´*That´s all* my ass,´ Duo thought to himself. ´If that´s all I will shave my head.´
He went out through the door Heero held open for him only to freeze in mid-step. "Heero? What´s THAT?" he asked pointing a finger at the old, patched together sedan waiting for them in the parking lot. It had to be Heero´s since there was no other car in sight. "You still don´t have your car back from the cops?"
"No, I have it at home. I bought this one specially for today´s date," the blue eyed boy answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Do you like it?"
Duo gulped. Was Heero serious? "Well, it... it has... style." Duo scratched his head. He was just curious what was keeping the...vehicle from falling apart. Was this a part of some sort of twisted revenge on Heero´s part?
Heero smiled that charming smile again and started to walk down the stairs to the parking lot. "I knew you would like the idea."
´Idea? There is some idea behind it?´ Duo thought to himself in confusion. ´Well, if there was he apparently missed it.´ Hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulder, he rushed after Heero who was already checking the tires.
"They are okay," he said with amazement.
Duo grinned. No flat tires. That had to be a sign.
Heero got into the car and unlocked the passenger door. Duo opened it, every hair on his body raising at the screeching sound the door made. He got in and shut the door quickly with a bang. Laying the backpack on his knees - and mentally crossing his fingers - he waited for Heero to start the engine. With some hiccups it finally started up and Duo grinned again. Everything was still going okay.
"Seatbelt, Duo!" Heero reminded him as he checked the road four times before backing out of the parking place.
Obediently Duo put the belt on and the next twenty minutes before they reached the restaurant he occupied himself with Heero-watching. He had to smile seeing him double check if they were free to go on each and every intersection they passed through on their way. Duo had never seen Heero being this careful. Not even during the wars when they were on missions.
When they safely reached their destination and even found a parking place just opposite the restaurant they couldn´t even believe their luck held this long. They smiled at each other. So far so good. They got out of the car and after double checking the street again they quickly crossed it and walked into the dimly lit restaurant. It was already dark outside and the candles on the tables kept the atmosphere pretty intimate there.
The host greeted them. "Would you like a table on the terrace?" he asked politely.
"NO!" they both shouted at the same time before smiling at each other in embarassement.
The host just raised his eyebrows and kept his comments to himself. He then led them to a table for two near a big window from where they could overlook the bay. Giorgio´s was one of the best seafood restaurants in town.
They sat down and after they ordered plain water the host left them alone. They opened their menus and smiled at each other over the tops. On neither date did they come so far without something disastrous happening to them. Maybe they finally broke through their bad luck?
As soon as the thought popped up in their minds, a young waitress who was bringing them their water tripped on the carpet and spilled everything all over Heero.
Duo cringed. Oh God... Now he would get an ear full. But what happened next shocked him totally.
Heero smiled at the waitress that was apologizing to him over and over again and trying to dry his wet shirt with a paper napkin."It´s okay, no harm done. It was just water."
Duo knew he had to look pretty dumb sitting there with his mouth hanging open like a dead fish but he couldn´t help himself. Who was this stranger and what did he do to his Heero?!
When Heero was finally able to calm the waitress down they ordered some seafood salad without dressing, no soup and *bottled*water.
When they were alone again, Duo propped his head on his hand and looked searchingly at Heero. "You're not mad at all," he stated after a moment, his voice full of surprise.
Heero smiled again - God, Duo had never seen Heero smile that much in the whole time they´d known each other. "No, I´m not."
Duo frowned. "Why?"
Before Heero could answer their waitress returned laying their salads in front of them. She smiled nervously and turned to leave when Heero stopped her.
"The water?" he asked pointing at his empty glass.
The girl jumped, getting the ´deer in the headlights´ look for a moment before she rushed off.
"I think you scared her, Heero." Duo stated as he dug into his salad. He was so hungry already.
Heero opened his mouth to speak, his fork raised to dug into the fresh green leaf of salad that was nicely covering his seafood mix when he stopped and turned the leaf over, his eyebrows raised. Duo followed his gaze to see what... and gulped.
"The water," the breathless waitress said to them as she put the two bottles down on their table.
"Thank you," Heero answered - Duo still in too much of a shock to even make a sound. "Uhm," the Japanese man stopped the waitress from leaving again. "I know I ordered a seafood salad but shouldn´t all the animals in it be at least dead?" he asked pointing at the small slug that was happily munching on his leaf of salad.
From that moment their date went to hell.
The waitress started to cry, almost on the verge of hysterics. A gust of wind knocked the candle on their table over. Their tablecloth caught fire and before they could extinguish it, the overhead sprinklers turned on, bathing them in a shower of cold water. The people started to scream and yell running out of the restaurant as if the devil was after them. And then - if that wasn´t enough - there was a big crash outside, accompanied by the sound of metal bending and creaking.
Duo gulped.
"I bet that that was our car," Heero said, sounding completely stoic even though he just found a slug in his dinner, the tablecloth caught fire, water was dripping from every part of his body and he probably just lost his car.
The overhead sprinklers finally stopped, leaving them sitting alone in puddles of water, the dripping the only sound in the otherwise completely silent room.
Duo sat in his seat, wet to the bone but not even noticing it. He was nervously shredding a piece of wet paper napkin. He wasn´t brave enough to meet Heero´s eyes. Patient or not - that was just too much even for this new, changed Heero.
"I think I will just ask them to pack us some tuna sandwiches," Heero stated, breaking the silence.
"Uh... Heero... are you... are you mad?" Duo asked in a small voice. Logically he knew that this wasn´t his fault but...
"Duo, look at me," Heero requested gently. Reaching over the table he put the fingers of his left hand under Duo´s chin and lifted it up. Duo blinked at him and sniffled. "I´m not mad," he smiled.
Duo blinked again - in shock this time. "What...?"
"Why do you think we took the stairs at your apartment house? Why do you think we came in that wreck of a car? Why do you think I´m dressed in jeans that you know I don´t like?" he asked.
Duo blinked again. He didn´t understand anything.
Heero smiled. "I suspected something like this might happen. Who wouldn´t after the last two times?" That brought a small smile to Duo´s lips. "And you know what? I still came because I wanted to be with you. I finally understood it yesterday. None of this matters because I love you, my Walking Catastrophe." He caressed Duo´s cheek with his thumb.
Duo sniffled, tears of happiness filling his eyes. "You do?"
"Yeah."
"That´s... that´s good, because you see... I love you too and..."
Heero got up and leaned over the table, catching Duo´s lips with his own, efficiently silencing the upcoming rant. And Duo was sweet and warm and smelled like rain which made Heero smile. Only Duo could smell like rain sitting inside of a building, with no clouds in the sky.
When they finally parted, Duo licked his lips. "Wow. That was like... Wow."
Heero laughed. Miracles still happened. Duo was speechless. "We should go now, huh?"
Duo nodded happily and started to get up from his seat. But then he stopped. "But if that crash was our car... how will we get home?"
Heero moved around the table and helped Duo get up from his seat, wrapping one hand around his waist as they walked slowly to the entrance. "Don´t worry about that. Before coming for you I asked Trowa to pick us up. I somehow had the feeling that we wouldn´t get around to actually eat our dinner." He looked at his - thankfully waterproof - watch. "He should be here any minute."
Duo laughed. "You really thought of everything."
They went out into the warm summer night. People were standing around arguing and yelling at each other and the restaurant manager. They looked at them oddly when they walked past them, dripping water but smiling like idiots. They must have thought they were nuts.
"Yep, our car," commented Duo when they stopped at the twisted piece of metal lying under the torn up telephone pole. Seeing the long piece of metal and wood that almost cut their car in two, they looked at it, then at each other and shrugged. Nothing would surprise them anymore.
That was when a car stopped behind them and honked. They turned around to find Trowa and Quatre getting out looking in shock first at the crowd, then at them and finally at the thing that once had been a car.
"Uhm... did you enjoy yourself tonight?" asked Quatre finally with his eyebrows raised.
Heero and Duo grinned at each other.
"The evening couldn´t have been better," Duo answered before leaning into Heero and kissing him soundly.
The End</lj-cut></div>